Samantha Ruddy
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samlymatters.bsky.social
Samantha Ruddy
@samlymatters.bsky.social
-Captain Ravioli
-Standup from Fallon, Colbert, and Baseball Mom on Amazon Prime
-Previously: Full Frontal with Sam Bee and Collegehumor
- Philly 🦅
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Audience culture is the worst it's ever been, I swear to god. People forgot how to act. I'm at the theater, trying to enjoy my show, which I've paid GOOD MONEY for, and these two old assholes are in the balcony heckling the life out of the poor bear onstage. Not letting him finish a single joke.
November 26, 2025 at 10:05 PM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
extremely Medieval King coded in a way i cannot help but respect
he believes what now
November 26, 2025 at 4:16 AM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Is this cheese grater conscious? Many users feel they're talking to a real person. Scientists say it's time to consider whether they're onto something.
November 25, 2025 at 8:21 PM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
eric swalwell said on msnow that a major goal of a dem majority after the midterms would be for ice masks to come off and badges to come out, this is insufficient
November 24, 2025 at 1:32 AM
November 22, 2025 at 12:03 AM
It’s almost like showing white collar criminals that there’s no consequences for white collar crimes results in…more white collar crime.
A New Jersey fraudster who was pardoned by President Trump in 2021 was sentenced to 37 years in prison this month for running a $44 million Ponzi scheme, one of a growing number of people granted clemency by Trump only to be charged with new crimes.
A Fraudster Pardoned by Trump Gets 37 Years for Running Ponzi Scheme
A New Jersey man convicted of defrauding investors of roughly a quarter-billion dollars is among a growing number of people granted clemency only to to be charged with new crimes.
nyti.ms
November 21, 2025 at 4:12 PM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
park that car
drop that phone
sleep on the floor
November 21, 2025 at 1:55 AM
I love being in fashion subreddits. Every five years they sacrifice a chain store and glorify a different one. MADEWELL? More like made badly since new CEO. To the trash! Abercrombie? Actually a lot of nice stuff now™️
November 21, 2025 at 12:11 AM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Also my book is on sale for 54% off right now, which is nice. Spend all that money you’re saving on Fetterman’s crap and buy my better crap twice.

a.co/d/2ENJpEY
Amazon.com: Good Game, No Rematch: A Life Made of Video Games: 9781335012692: Drucker, Mike: Books
Amazon.com: Good Game, No Rematch: A Life Made of Video Games: 9781335012692: Drucker, Mike: Books
a.co
November 20, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I tried to use a thunderstorm white noise machine to sleep, but it pissed my dog off so much. He was like “why don’t you just get a fireworks one??”
November 20, 2025 at 1:20 PM
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The greatest trick the devil ever played was the one where he pretended to pull off his thumb but it was really just his other thumb.
November 19, 2025 at 4:45 PM
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when I was a kid my dad could have kicked my ass because he was an adult. now I could kick my dad’s ass because he’s old. but there was one day between then and now when we were exactly evenly matched. the father/son convergence
November 19, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The Louvre is committing to eco justice by using short, reusable passwords
Art museums have the highest average energy consumption of all cultural institutions in the US.

To make change, first you measure. Read the newly released @PST_ART climate impact report featuring the largest data set on the climate impact of exhibitions: gty.art/climate-report
November 18, 2025 at 4:52 PM
90% of the time when a comedian moves to Austin, they claim it’s because the woke left ran them out of Hollywood. That sucks for Austin. It’s a nice city but now it’s filled with people who felt they had to flee from UCB grads. People who feel victimized by intimacy coordinators.
November 18, 2025 at 12:44 AM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Remember the recent middle-of-the-night apartment building raid where children were dragged outside naked & zip-tied in the street while black & Latino residents were _sorted by race_ and piled into separate vans while their apartments were ransacked & robbed? That raid? So it resulted in 0 arrests.
November 16, 2025 at 5:38 PM
It’s funny that some games are considered cool to play at parties and others are considered lame. Like beer pong? cool. Magic the gathering? lame. Flip cup? cool. The game of love? Ok Michelle Branch and Santana.
November 15, 2025 at 11:50 PM
Been gay married for like 6 days and I’m already a textbook wife guy minus the guy part
November 15, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
Hold up
November 15, 2025 at 12:41 AM
Reposted by Samantha Ruddy
November 15, 2025 at 2:21 AM
the comment section on someone’s pinned instagram reel is like a museum to times in the past that they upset people. Just dozens of comments like “I know what you did to Dylan!!!” on a viral joke labeled “POV you’re my barista”
November 13, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Trump using the situation room to have an emergency meeting about the Epstein files is so funny, because you know that they were like “hey that’s not really what it’s for…” and he was like “WELL IS THIS NOT A SITUATION?!”
November 13, 2025 at 2:52 PM
Trump wants to turn the US into a banana republic in multiple ways
Call in the troops to solve the commercial real estate crisis in our swanky downtown cores

You can’t make this shit up, folks
November 11, 2025 at 4:15 PM
GQ: Steal this Ralph Lauren style hack

Me:
November 11, 2025 at 3:51 PM
How is he his own Waluigi
Chris Cuomo is trying to make this atrocious little mustache happen even though it looks like he drew it on with a ballpoint pen
November 11, 2025 at 2:40 PM
There’s something comforting about how little people are actually thinking about you. I was completely convinced my friend was mad at me because I hadn’t heard from her in days. Turns out she was just attacked by a stingray on vacation.
November 11, 2025 at 2:38 PM