Scott Dolan
@scottadolan.bsky.social
Minnesotan who lives in New York. I know the guy who invented Diet Squirt.
Had a dream I was hanging out with Matt Stone, and was funny and charming, and laughed at my jokes. You know what? Matt Stone is OK in my book!
December 3, 2025 at 4:29 PM
Had a dream I was hanging out with Matt Stone, and was funny and charming, and laughed at my jokes. You know what? Matt Stone is OK in my book!
Train your dog to attack Billy Gibbons on sight.
December 2, 2025 at 5:34 PM
Train your dog to attack Billy Gibbons on sight.
Reposted by Scott Dolan
Introduce yourself with five albums you’ve listened to a thousand times I’ll go first
Tyranny of Distance
Lowe End Theory
Blacklisted
A Love Supreme
Ah Um
Tyranny of Distance
Lowe End Theory
Blacklisted
A Love Supreme
Ah Um
Introduce yourself with five albums you’ve listened to a thousand times I’ll go first
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
November 30, 2025 at 1:28 AM
Introduce yourself with five albums you’ve listened to a thousand times I’ll go first
Tyranny of Distance
Lowe End Theory
Blacklisted
A Love Supreme
Ah Um
Tyranny of Distance
Lowe End Theory
Blacklisted
A Love Supreme
Ah Um
Introduce yourself with five albums you’ve listened to a thousand times I’ll go first
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
November 30, 2025 at 1:26 AM
Introduce yourself with five albums you’ve listened to a thousand times I’ll go first
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
American Water
The Mob Rules
The Smiths (first)
Walk Across the Rooftops (Blue Nile)
Clouds Taste Metallic
You don’t hear as much about “hecking doggos” these days. Should I look into this?
November 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
You don’t hear as much about “hecking doggos” these days. Should I look into this?
Dummy on the street proposing a contest:
“First one that can hold their breath for thirty seconds wins.”
“First one that can hold their breath for thirty seconds wins.”
November 29, 2025 at 8:48 PM
Dummy on the street proposing a contest:
“First one that can hold their breath for thirty seconds wins.”
“First one that can hold their breath for thirty seconds wins.”
Bummed that the downtown Macys is gone. I bought all my clothes from their clearance section.
November 28, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Bummed that the downtown Macys is gone. I bought all my clothes from their clearance section.
Although it’s Black Friday I am wearing all green. I’m pretty wild.
November 28, 2025 at 4:45 PM
Although it’s Black Friday I am wearing all green. I’m pretty wild.
Prep report: Dominican thanksgiving well under way.
November 27, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Prep report: Dominican thanksgiving well under way.
*angry Australian voice*
I SAID G’DAY SIR!!
I SAID G’DAY SIR!!
November 26, 2025 at 3:58 PM
*angry Australian voice*
I SAID G’DAY SIR!!
I SAID G’DAY SIR!!
Right now there are FOUR cars with New Jersey plates on my block.
FUCK THIS!!!!
FUCK THIS!!!!
November 25, 2025 at 3:14 PM
Right now there are FOUR cars with New Jersey plates on my block.
FUCK THIS!!!!
FUCK THIS!!!!
Reposted by Scott Dolan
I’ve done a good part of the Games issue. Might actually finish it this year (minus the math-based games).
November 24, 2025 at 4:01 AM
I’ve done a good part of the Games issue. Might actually finish it this year (minus the math-based games).
My wife keeps her phone volume at 10 and screen brightness all the way down. I keep my volume at 1, or off, and my screen brightness all the way up. Our vision and hearing is pretty much identical. This is very strange to me.
November 23, 2025 at 5:31 PM
My wife keeps her phone volume at 10 and screen brightness all the way down. I keep my volume at 1, or off, and my screen brightness all the way up. Our vision and hearing is pretty much identical. This is very strange to me.
Ugh I hear water dripping in the walls.
November 23, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Ugh I hear water dripping in the walls.
Reposted by Scott Dolan
Reposted by Scott Dolan
The secret third option is fungus.
Kinda rude that the only two options are existence & death
July 23, 2023 at 7:04 AM
The secret third option is fungus.
Dave Portnoy, but for reviewing pizzas.
November 23, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Dave Portnoy, but for reviewing pizzas.
So far none of the Trump/Mamdani takes have been right. Something happened, we don’t know what.
November 23, 2025 at 4:05 AM
So far none of the Trump/Mamdani takes have been right. Something happened, we don’t know what.
I don’t think Kentucky gets enough credit.
November 23, 2025 at 3:54 AM
I don’t think Kentucky gets enough credit.
I had an idea for a poem and then forgot it .
November 22, 2025 at 10:36 PM
I had an idea for a poem and then forgot it .
If you put asterisks around some text in instagram, *comme ça*, it renders it in bold. It’s supposed to be *italics* you fucking dipshits.
November 22, 2025 at 10:25 PM
If you put asterisks around some text in instagram, *comme ça*, it renders it in bold. It’s supposed to be *italics* you fucking dipshits.
Here’s my nicknames for the women that work at my grocery store:
Krissy The smart one
Barb The funny one
Geeta The competent/grouchy one
Maria The pretty one
Stacy The blonde one
Bianca The rich one
Ann The dull one
Krissy The smart one
Barb The funny one
Geeta The competent/grouchy one
Maria The pretty one
Stacy The blonde one
Bianca The rich one
Ann The dull one
November 22, 2025 at 10:20 PM
Here’s my nicknames for the women that work at my grocery store:
Krissy The smart one
Barb The funny one
Geeta The competent/grouchy one
Maria The pretty one
Stacy The blonde one
Bianca The rich one
Ann The dull one
Krissy The smart one
Barb The funny one
Geeta The competent/grouchy one
Maria The pretty one
Stacy The blonde one
Bianca The rich one
Ann The dull one
Santigold filmed the video for Can’t Get Enough of Myself on my block. So when she says “Look at my neighbors I'm the best thing around” she’s talking about ME!
November 22, 2025 at 7:30 PM
Santigold filmed the video for Can’t Get Enough of Myself on my block. So when she says “Look at my neighbors I'm the best thing around” she’s talking about ME!