Noah Smith
@smithnoah.bsky.social
Noah Smith is a writer or something.
“You’ll be visited by three spirits.”
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
November 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
“You’ll be visited by three spirits.”
The three spirits:
The three spirits:
If I’m spending $100k on a personal vehicle it better come with 4 insane boys, age 17-21.
November 28, 2025 at 1:55 PM
If I’m spending $100k on a personal vehicle it better come with 4 insane boys, age 17-21.
Just learned that today is Joey Chestnut’s birthday, which means that his birthday falls on Thanksgiving one or twice a decade.
I’m guessing things get pretty crazy when that happens.
I’m guessing things get pretty crazy when that happens.
November 25, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Just learned that today is Joey Chestnut’s birthday, which means that his birthday falls on Thanksgiving one or twice a decade.
I’m guessing things get pretty crazy when that happens.
I’m guessing things get pretty crazy when that happens.
There must be some reason …
November 24, 2025 at 1:31 PM
There must be some reason …
A movie that takes place where you're from
November 23, 2025 at 8:54 PM
A movie that takes place where you're from
Quick reminder that I am not Noah Smith, the prominent economist. I am the Noah Smith who wrote this joke in 2014 when jokes about Russia annexing territory were still cute.
November 21, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Quick reminder that I am not Noah Smith, the prominent economist. I am the Noah Smith who wrote this joke in 2014 when jokes about Russia annexing territory were still cute.
Nothing’s funny about the way Epstein’s friends victimized women and children. But it is very funny that, when he was in panic mode that his crimes might be revealed, Andrew, Duke of York, third child of the Queen of England, was shout-typing “What’s all this?” like a Bobby in a Benny Hill sketch.
November 13, 2025 at 4:50 PM
Nothing’s funny about the way Epstein’s friends victimized women and children. But it is very funny that, when he was in panic mode that his crimes might be revealed, Andrew, Duke of York, third child of the Queen of England, was shout-typing “What’s all this?” like a Bobby in a Benny Hill sketch.
I’m 49 and I just this minute put it together that Disney has two characters named Chip.
November 13, 2025 at 2:49 AM
I’m 49 and I just this minute put it together that Disney has two characters named Chip.
The man with a mustache is supposed to be 28 years old. The four sitting gentlemen are supposed to be between 15 and 18 maybe.
So bring it on, Stranger Things, with your 23-year-old high school freshmen. My generation has indeed seen Stranger Things.
So bring it on, Stranger Things, with your 23-year-old high school freshmen. My generation has indeed seen Stranger Things.
November 12, 2025 at 1:47 PM
The man with a mustache is supposed to be 28 years old. The four sitting gentlemen are supposed to be between 15 and 18 maybe.
So bring it on, Stranger Things, with your 23-year-old high school freshmen. My generation has indeed seen Stranger Things.
So bring it on, Stranger Things, with your 23-year-old high school freshmen. My generation has indeed seen Stranger Things.
Beat me by 20 minutes! Darn!
Great minds think alike?
Great minds think alike?
November 9, 2025 at 5:53 AM
Beat me by 20 minutes! Darn!
Great minds think alike?
Great minds think alike?
How often do you think people who are looking for a plumber in Smyrna, Georgia accidentally wind up going to “Plump Bros” dot com?
November 7, 2025 at 3:58 PM
How often do you think people who are looking for a plumber in Smyrna, Georgia accidentally wind up going to “Plump Bros” dot com?
The summer I turned 19, I played one of the thieves in a children’s theatre production of Ali Baba. In one scene where we were hiding treasure we had stolen the director wanted us to enter to the song “Shake Your Booty” and we should be literally shaking the chests full of treasure we were holding.
November 7, 2025 at 3:00 PM
The summer I turned 19, I played one of the thieves in a children’s theatre production of Ali Baba. In one scene where we were hiding treasure we had stolen the director wanted us to enter to the song “Shake Your Booty” and we should be literally shaking the chests full of treasure we were holding.
I’ve heard the show is quite good, but I cannot imagine a less appealing tagline.
November 7, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I’ve heard the show is quite good, but I cannot imagine a less appealing tagline.
All along, I was misreading Abigail Spanberger’s name as “Spangenberg” and I was hoping she might be related to this very likable Jeopardy champion I remember from the early 90s. I am … mildly disappointed.
November 7, 2025 at 12:50 PM
All along, I was misreading Abigail Spanberger’s name as “Spangenberg” and I was hoping she might be related to this very likable Jeopardy champion I remember from the early 90s. I am … mildly disappointed.
When she says “ooh, gamer,” it seems like she’s into it. But if you swiped right on a silver fox and when you met him for coffee you saw that he works at Target in his 50s (?) AND he’s a gamer…is that a GREEN flag?
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
November 7, 2025 at 12:05 PM
When she says “ooh, gamer,” it seems like she’s into it. But if you swiped right on a silver fox and when you met him for coffee you saw that he works at Target in his 50s (?) AND he’s a gamer…is that a GREEN flag?
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Somehow the hardest thing to accept in this “Santa on a Tinder date” commercial.
Yes, advertisement, I know we are. But after Tuesday night, some of us were starting to feel like we have a chance of getting back to being the real thing… Thanks a lot.
November 6, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Yes, advertisement, I know we are. But after Tuesday night, some of us were starting to feel like we have a chance of getting back to being the real thing… Thanks a lot.
I always tend to wanna write it as “whoah” so I guess I’m some sort of renegade maverick who plays by his own rules.
November 6, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I always tend to wanna write it as “whoah” so I guess I’m some sort of renegade maverick who plays by his own rules.
Obviously these are terrible people because they love Nick Fuentes. But can we agree that a man who sees his partner put that much effort into a Marilyn costume, then calls that bullshit a JFK costume has never remembered an anniversary, cooked a meal, or seen an in-person female orgasm?
November 2, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Obviously these are terrible people because they love Nick Fuentes. But can we agree that a man who sees his partner put that much effort into a Marilyn costume, then calls that bullshit a JFK costume has never remembered an anniversary, cooked a meal, or seen an in-person female orgasm?
I hate Jay Halloween. What do you mean you’re “Beyondo”?
October 31, 2025 at 9:16 PM
I hate Jay Halloween. What do you mean you’re “Beyondo”?
I hate Gray Halloween. What do you mean you’re a slutty Area 51 alien?
October 31, 2025 at 6:09 PM
I hate Gray Halloween. What do you mean you’re a slutty Area 51 alien?
I may have been conflating it with this movie starring a pre-Dead Poets Society Robert Sean Leonard.
October 31, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I may have been conflating it with this movie starring a pre-Dead Poets Society Robert Sean Leonard.
I considered this, but the look is clearly based on Dracula.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
October 31, 2025 at 3:56 PM
I considered this, but the look is clearly based on Dracula.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
I guess Lauren Hutton’s look in Once Bitten is also Dracula-adjacent and her character is called “The Countess.”
I thought Jim Carrey turns into a vampire in that, but according to Wikipedia, he never completes the transformation.
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula
October 31, 2025 at 3:51 PM
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers.”
October 31, 2025 at 10:19 AM
If you see this, quote with a robot that isn’t from “Star Wars,” “Star Trek,” “Doctor Who,” or “Transformers.”