George Michael was just the soundest bloke wasn’t he
December 14, 2025 at 12:37 AM
George Michael was just the soundest bloke wasn’t he
The task was failed for me by somebody next to me announcing the result during the first half.
I am at the football today at the same time as the F1 is on.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
December 7, 2025 at 2:53 PM
The task was failed for me by somebody next to me announcing the result during the first half.
Reposted by Soapy Norris
[on the set of Scarface]
AL PACINO: say hello to my little friend [opens jacket to reveal a tiny kitten]
DIRECTOR: son of a bitch CUT
AL PACINO: say hello to my little friend [opens jacket to reveal a tiny kitten]
DIRECTOR: son of a bitch CUT
December 7, 2025 at 8:51 AM
[on the set of Scarface]
AL PACINO: say hello to my little friend [opens jacket to reveal a tiny kitten]
DIRECTOR: son of a bitch CUT
AL PACINO: say hello to my little friend [opens jacket to reveal a tiny kitten]
DIRECTOR: son of a bitch CUT
I am at the football today at the same time as the F1 is on.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
December 7, 2025 at 12:52 PM
I am at the football today at the same time as the F1 is on.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I am determined to remember to stay offline afterwards and not spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
I will not remember to stay offline afterwards and will spoil the F1 result before I get home and watch it.
At school in our French textbooks there was a character called Monseieur Painchaud. It literally translates to “Mr Hotbread”. But. Oh boy. There were a lot of kids in my school of Indian heritage. Words cannot even begin to describe how funny this name was for them. iykyk
December 5, 2025 at 9:01 PM
At school in our French textbooks there was a character called Monseieur Painchaud. It literally translates to “Mr Hotbread”. But. Oh boy. There were a lot of kids in my school of Indian heritage. Words cannot even begin to describe how funny this name was for them. iykyk
I can honestly say I have never wished for anyone to shit themselves to death live on tv while in the middle of a World Cup draw.
Sorry not have, had.
Sorry not have, had.
December 5, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I can honestly say I have never wished for anyone to shit themselves to death live on tv while in the middle of a World Cup draw.
Sorry not have, had.
Sorry not have, had.
Remember when Sepp Blatter was president of FIFA, with all the staggeringly obvious, blatant corruption? And when he finally left and everyone thought well things can only get better? Then Gianni Infantino replaced him?
December 5, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Remember when Sepp Blatter was president of FIFA, with all the staggeringly obvious, blatant corruption? And when he finally left and everyone thought well things can only get better? Then Gianni Infantino replaced him?
I reckon within three years the tubs will only be visible under an electron microscope.
December 5, 2025 at 3:04 PM
I reckon within three years the tubs will only be visible under an electron microscope.
Boom. That last sentence. Right there.
This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥
December 1, 2025 at 1:26 PM
Boom. That last sentence. Right there.
Greedy lying tory cunt in “greedy lying Tory cunt” shocka
Wow - this guy must be really, REALLY bad with money if an extra £208 per month will “ruin” his retirement.
Let’s take a look at his situation based on what he told the @Telegraph
Because this does NOT add up!
No, this is not a “poor pensioner” scrabbling around for pennies…
🧵1/9
Let’s take a look at his situation based on what he told the @Telegraph
Because this does NOT add up!
No, this is not a “poor pensioner” scrabbling around for pennies…
🧵1/9
November 29, 2025 at 11:31 AM
Greedy lying tory cunt in “greedy lying Tory cunt” shocka
Skoda 120
Citroen 2CV
Morris Ital
Austin Maestro
Ford Cortina
Citroen 2CV
Morris Ital
Austin Maestro
Ford Cortina
Introduce yourself with 5 cars you've owned
Peugeot 104
Volvo 244
Ford Escort mk1
Vauxhall Victor FB
British Leyland Mini Clubman
Peugeot 104
Volvo 244
Ford Escort mk1
Vauxhall Victor FB
British Leyland Mini Clubman
November 28, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Skoda 120
Citroen 2CV
Morris Ital
Austin Maestro
Ford Cortina
Citroen 2CV
Morris Ital
Austin Maestro
Ford Cortina
As a child I was certain that spontaneous human combustion would be responsible for the deaths of far more of my elderly relatives than actually turned out to be the case
November 23, 2025 at 8:07 PM
As a child I was certain that spontaneous human combustion would be responsible for the deaths of far more of my elderly relatives than actually turned out to be the case
Reform? Taking Russian money? Advancing Russian interests?
But they said they’re the patriotic ones.
But they said.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
But they said they’re the patriotic ones.
But they said.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
Ex-leader of Reform UK in Wales sentenced to 10-and-a-half years for taking pro-Russian bribes
The judge tells Nathan Gill his actions were a
www.bbc.co.uk
November 21, 2025 at 1:23 PM
Reform? Taking Russian money? Advancing Russian interests?
But they said they’re the patriotic ones.
But they said.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
But they said they’re the patriotic ones.
But they said.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c8...
It’s now cold enough to keep the weekend’s beer nice and chilled on the back doorstep instead of taking up room in the fridge.
However a local animal (or possibly very small child) is clearly not in favour of this and has elected to shit on the beer.
However a local animal (or possibly very small child) is clearly not in favour of this and has elected to shit on the beer.
November 21, 2025 at 8:39 AM
It’s now cold enough to keep the weekend’s beer nice and chilled on the back doorstep instead of taking up room in the fridge.
However a local animal (or possibly very small child) is clearly not in favour of this and has elected to shit on the beer.
However a local animal (or possibly very small child) is clearly not in favour of this and has elected to shit on the beer.
I was watching Primal Scream at a festival once. Between songs Mani noodled a few notes of She Bangs The Drums. The crowd gave a massive cheer.
A visibly annoyed Bobby Gillespie said “are you here to see Primal Scream or the fucking Stone Roses?”
The crowd, almost as one, shouted “STONE ROSES!”
A visibly annoyed Bobby Gillespie said “are you here to see Primal Scream or the fucking Stone Roses?”
The crowd, almost as one, shouted “STONE ROSES!”
November 20, 2025 at 7:13 PM
I was watching Primal Scream at a festival once. Between songs Mani noodled a few notes of She Bangs The Drums. The crowd gave a massive cheer.
A visibly annoyed Bobby Gillespie said “are you here to see Primal Scream or the fucking Stone Roses?”
The crowd, almost as one, shouted “STONE ROSES!”
A visibly annoyed Bobby Gillespie said “are you here to see Primal Scream or the fucking Stone Roses?”
The crowd, almost as one, shouted “STONE ROSES!”
Fuck. Mani. Just… fucking fuck. RIP.
November 20, 2025 at 6:18 PM
Fuck. Mani. Just… fucking fuck. RIP.
Don’t often get that invested in a Scotland football game.
Fucking get in. Brilliant stuff.
Fucking get in. Brilliant stuff.
November 18, 2025 at 9:50 PM
Don’t often get that invested in a Scotland football game.
Fucking get in. Brilliant stuff.
Fucking get in. Brilliant stuff.
Bill Clinton has in his power right now the ability to create the greatest moment in comedy history, and all he needs to do is stand in front of a microphone and say “I did not have sexual relations with that man”
November 16, 2025 at 10:52 AM
Bill Clinton has in his power right now the ability to create the greatest moment in comedy history, and all he needs to do is stand in front of a microphone and say “I did not have sexual relations with that man”
It’s so telling when conservative types in the US threaten to investigate Epstein’s ties to Democrats or liberals, as if that’ll make people say uh, actually let’s forget the whole thing.
They expect liberals to back down to protect their own because that is what they do themselves.
1/
They expect liberals to back down to protect their own because that is what they do themselves.
1/
November 15, 2025 at 10:04 AM
It’s so telling when conservative types in the US threaten to investigate Epstein’s ties to Democrats or liberals, as if that’ll make people say uh, actually let’s forget the whole thing.
They expect liberals to back down to protect their own because that is what they do themselves.
1/
They expect liberals to back down to protect their own because that is what they do themselves.
1/
You can keep your art nouveau steampunk tin, it’s own brand tennants super and it’s dreadful
November 14, 2025 at 11:24 PM
You can keep your art nouveau steampunk tin, it’s own brand tennants super and it’s dreadful
My father worked in the death industry. Famous people he laid his hands upon when they were dead include Marc Bolan, Kenny Everett and Freddie Mercury.
November 14, 2025 at 9:58 PM
My father worked in the death industry. Famous people he laid his hands upon when they were dead include Marc Bolan, Kenny Everett and Freddie Mercury.
Imagine if the BBC’s response was “we decline to apologise to that man, on the basis that he is a pedophile”.
November 13, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Imagine if the BBC’s response was “we decline to apologise to that man, on the basis that he is a pedophile”.
Out for the football, got to the ground and realised I was feeling quite unwell, all faint & shaky. Had a pint of Harvey’s and a steak pie and funnily enough I now feel a lot better. #BeerAndPiesAreMedicine
November 1, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Out for the football, got to the ground and realised I was feeling quite unwell, all faint & shaky. Had a pint of Harvey’s and a steak pie and funnily enough I now feel a lot better. #BeerAndPiesAreMedicine
In my music collection one language that’s surprisingly overrepresented across many genres is Portuguese. I have no real idea why, I guess it’s just intrinsically pleasing to my ear. Despite sounding a bit like a poor attempt at Spanish by a slurring drunk that can’t do the accent.
October 28, 2025 at 11:52 PM
In my music collection one language that’s surprisingly overrepresented across many genres is Portuguese. I have no real idea why, I guess it’s just intrinsically pleasing to my ear. Despite sounding a bit like a poor attempt at Spanish by a slurring drunk that can’t do the accent.