It's World Octopus Day! These magnificent creatures have 9 brains, 8 arms, 3 hearts, and they hunt sharks. What are you even doing with your life?

For sure, Carrie. One of the most overlooked, disregarded and disgracefully mistreated groups of people requiring medical support, and now installing someone awful to make it worse. Never mind improving circumstances, ignoring the situation like this won't make it go away for them, will it?

Took me a few minutes of cog-whirring. All spent considering alternative words for proboscis.

Think I'm there. Possibly only because my limited knowledge only has one word for turning machine.

Oddly, I have a lovely personal connection to this particular song, so cheers for popping it up here and giving me an unexpected smile.

Jotted this silly thing down last week. Didn't have a place for it. Thank you for providing a home for it, Champie.

STERN VOICE: Drop that ghetto blaster.

ME IN ADULT STORE: I only came in for a sex press.

Subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz349bs

Yeah. I didn't know about this at all until 20 minutes ago. A big thank you to Greg for gifting me an added new bit to something I have appreciated for - what - 20 years is it now?

Cheers, and enjoy if you haven't seen it either.

You know what you just did, Greg? I did not know about this recent bit at all and you have just added to and extended - what, 20 years of this thing is it now ? - and given me a great gift. Thank you very much for this wonderful gift.

If you've seen this before, it's been enough years and about the right time to take a moment and rewatch just how great it was.

If you have not seen this before, then it's a gift from Jimmy Kimmel passed via Greg Jenner to you. Your life will never be quite the same. That little bit better forever.

My favourite Hollywoody/glitzy spearing and even greater counter-spearing of all time. I say spearing, I mean I've never quite convinced myself it wasn't all a tremendous PR stunt where everyone won and I don't mind that at all.

You didn't miss 'Scottie Doesn't Know' as well, did you?

Unbelievable that TikTok & Insta are amplifying 1970s ‘jokes’ about N*****s & P***s to a whole new generation.

Bernard Manning, of all people, is back in fashion…

Thanks.

EXPERT: I have used all of my expertise to consider every possible scenario, weighed up all the information only available to experts like me, and which only experts like me could understand, and I have concluded that it might happen, or it might not.

AMATEUR: That's why we pay 'em the big bucks.

me: let’s not over complicate this

my brain: alright well i'm out then

Technically, there is something you can do about it.

EXPERT: I have used all of my expertise to consider every possible scenario, weighed up all the information only available to experts like me, and which only experts like me could understand, and I have concluded that it might happen, or it might not.

AMATEUR: That's why we pay them the big bucks.

Experts are sceptical? Ooh, well done experts. Wish we were all as experty as you.

enshitificatio [error! -- printer out of yellow toner]

Dear Technotronic,

I'm having a preserve tasting party at the local business centre, but the conference room is on the third floor, and all the conserves are being delivered in huge tubs, and there's no way we can carry them up, what do you suggest?

Despite getting whatever anti-trans narrative they wanted out of the Charlie Kirk shooting, the American right is now blaming the Jews instead, because content must be created. It is almost like the "first they came for" thing is not hypothetical!

👏 Brilliant line.

You are declared a poet in the English language.

And the language of chaos theory mathematics.

This letter is technotronically incorrect. It should end

Make my day

Very pleasing that Moose Allain's excellent cartoon work didn't fall through the cracks.