leaving the cruelty aside for just a minute it's absolutely humiliating to imagine being my age or older and getting excited because you think you've been given permission to say a bad word. what are you gonna do next, ride your tricycle past the end of the block

Sorry you can't afford to own a home, we had to beat China in the race to develop a better plagiarism app

i think we've all learned something tonight about the size of the market for events where there's a chance to see an influencer beaten to death

if i ever say the words "the intersection of sports and pop culture" aloud in sequence my corporeal form will instantly vaporize. it's not that i will have died, exactly, so much that i will never have existed at all

eating pureed chicken and shitting in a box

Holding up the cvs drive thru looking at pictures of sza

surely this will give me my serotonin back