elyse
@twisby.bsky.social
becoming ungovernable in Durham, NC
where we love our neighbors and hate ICE
where we love our neighbors and hate ICE
New thing 5yo says to be mean to his little brother is "No soup for you!" Yes he HAS seen every episode of Seinfeld, hasn't your kid?
January 10, 2026 at 3:20 AM
New thing 5yo says to be mean to his little brother is "No soup for you!" Yes he HAS seen every episode of Seinfeld, hasn't your kid?
Yeah well my cat can hear the difference between a can of tuna and a can of beans being opened from 3 rooms away
A new study finds that some gifted dogs can learn the names of new toys by eavesdropping. It's a skill that has only been observed in a few animals, like parrots and apes.
Some gifted dogs can learn new toy names by eavesdropping on owners
A new study finds that some gifted dogs can learn the names of new toys by eavesdropping. It's a skill that has only been observed in a few animals, like parrots and apes.
bit.ly
January 9, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Yeah well my cat can hear the difference between a can of tuna and a can of beans being opened from 3 rooms away
Reposted by elyse
You and your wife drop your 6-year-old off at school. You just moved here. You see ICE terrorizing your new neighbors. You film them, as is your legal right. Your wife complies with orders. She is then shot in the head. You still have to pick up your child later today.
This could be you.
This could be you.
January 8, 2026 at 12:15 AM
You and your wife drop your 6-year-old off at school. You just moved here. You see ICE terrorizing your new neighbors. You film them, as is your legal right. Your wife complies with orders. She is then shot in the head. You still have to pick up your child later today.
This could be you.
This could be you.
@foushee.house.gov What action are you going to take to hold ICE accountable in our state and across the nation?
January 8, 2026 at 2:33 AM
@foushee.house.gov What action are you going to take to hold ICE accountable in our state and across the nation?
Reposted by elyse
Reposted by elyse
Updated - ICE Agent Fatally Shoots Observer in Minneapolis unicornriot.ninja/2026/ice-age...
ICE Agent Fatally Shoots Observer in Minneapolis - UNICORN RIOT
ICE fatally shot a woman acting as an observer to their immigration actions in Minneapolis.
unicornriot.ninja
January 8, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Updated - ICE Agent Fatally Shoots Observer in Minneapolis unicornriot.ninja/2026/ice-age...
Reposted by elyse
I am outside Roosevelt now, my daughter goes there. Talked to staff, ICE was in a car pursuit of someone and they crashed and went up on school property. Teachers formed a circle around the person to protect them. Ice releases tear gas and took two people
We are getting reports of Border Patrol activity near Roosevelt High School in Minneapolis that happened during dismissal time today. Bystanders say officers shoved, tackled bystanders and handcuffed 2 school staff
January 7, 2026 at 11:10 PM
I am outside Roosevelt now, my daughter goes there. Talked to staff, ICE was in a car pursuit of someone and they crashed and went up on school property. Teachers formed a circle around the person to protect them. Ice releases tear gas and took two people
update: Home Alone is now the only movie 5yo will watch.
My kids have been trolling us so hard lately. 5yo is watching Home Alone and we said it would be funny so at the end of every scene he says "that was not even funny." We went on a hike and 2yo kept wandering off into the woods then screaming at us that we weren't on the trail.
January 4, 2026 at 5:54 PM
update: Home Alone is now the only movie 5yo will watch.
Reposted by elyse
My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
January 4, 2026 at 2:02 AM
My whole life, advocating war has been fed to me as “the adult position,” akin to drinking your coffee black or reading the business section of the newspaper. Let’s be very clear — war is the childish nonsense of impulsive destructive idiots playing baby-brained video games with real human lives.
I'm sorry, for those of us who aren't glued to streaming services and didn't necessarily watch the Stranger Things finale within 24 hours of its release, could we just pause the rampant unfiltered spoilers? Your theories are not remotely important enough to justify this.
January 2, 2026 at 5:47 PM
I'm sorry, for those of us who aren't glued to streaming services and didn't necessarily watch the Stranger Things finale within 24 hours of its release, could we just pause the rampant unfiltered spoilers? Your theories are not remotely important enough to justify this.
Somehow we’re 20 min into Home Alone 2 and my 5yo is demanding a detailed explanation of what happened on 9/11.
January 1, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Somehow we’re 20 min into Home Alone 2 and my 5yo is demanding a detailed explanation of what happened on 9/11.
My kids have been trolling us so hard lately. 5yo is watching Home Alone and we said it would be funny so at the end of every scene he says "that was not even funny." We went on a hike and 2yo kept wandering off into the woods then screaming at us that we weren't on the trail.
January 1, 2026 at 7:47 PM
My kids have been trolling us so hard lately. 5yo is watching Home Alone and we said it would be funny so at the end of every scene he says "that was not even funny." We went on a hike and 2yo kept wandering off into the woods then screaming at us that we weren't on the trail.
When I had Covid during my last pregnancy with genuinely scary symptoms, my OB’s nurse-on-call told me to take OTC cough medicines and laughed at me being vaccinated, saying “see? Those vaccines don’t work.” This story came up this week and my parents both said “well, she’s right.”
1/2
1/2
December 28, 2025 at 2:33 AM
When I had Covid during my last pregnancy with genuinely scary symptoms, my OB’s nurse-on-call told me to take OTC cough medicines and laughed at me being vaccinated, saying “see? Those vaccines don’t work.” This story came up this week and my parents both said “well, she’s right.”
1/2
1/2
Hearing my 2yo sing along to “grandma got run over by a reindeer” tonight made my shriveled grinch heart grow 3 sizes. Also when he went to bed he told me “baby likes toys” and I think he was talking about himself in the third person. A+ human.
December 25, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Hearing my 2yo sing along to “grandma got run over by a reindeer” tonight made my shriveled grinch heart grow 3 sizes. Also when he went to bed he told me “baby likes toys” and I think he was talking about himself in the third person. A+ human.
Every Christmas I am forced to listen to an IHeartRadio playlist of Christmas songs and become more aware than ever that there are only about 20 recorded Christmas songs I don’t loathe. Why do we subject ourselves to inferiority in the name of tradition?
December 24, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Every Christmas I am forced to listen to an IHeartRadio playlist of Christmas songs and become more aware than ever that there are only about 20 recorded Christmas songs I don’t loathe. Why do we subject ourselves to inferiority in the name of tradition?
happy withdraw everything from your dependent care account day for all who celebrate!!!
December 22, 2025 at 2:26 PM
happy withdraw everything from your dependent care account day for all who celebrate!!!
Imagine parading around every single day to show everyone what a vile piece of garbage you are inside and out. Hope this statement in particular clears the way for everyone who might have felt any reservations about a bangin party when Trump finally does us the favor of kicking the bucket.
December 15, 2025 at 3:25 PM
Imagine parading around every single day to show everyone what a vile piece of garbage you are inside and out. Hope this statement in particular clears the way for everyone who might have felt any reservations about a bangin party when Trump finally does us the favor of kicking the bucket.
I'm so tired of lying to my kids' teachers by pretending I care about the holidays that today when another parent asked me if I'm looking forward to winter break I simply said "NO" with such resolve that she looked genuinely shocked. We laughed awkwardly. haha I'm the worst but also so is Christmas.
December 11, 2025 at 2:07 AM
I'm so tired of lying to my kids' teachers by pretending I care about the holidays that today when another parent asked me if I'm looking forward to winter break I simply said "NO" with such resolve that she looked genuinely shocked. We laughed awkwardly. haha I'm the worst but also so is Christmas.
I took my 5yo to the dentist and was about to pull up a chair to sit right next to him for comfort and in case he needed help answering questions but then I realized… he did not need me to do that. It was a moment for letting him be a big boy. I feel like I’m the one that grew up a little.
December 10, 2025 at 1:47 AM
I took my 5yo to the dentist and was about to pull up a chair to sit right next to him for comfort and in case he needed help answering questions but then I realized… he did not need me to do that. It was a moment for letting him be a big boy. I feel like I’m the one that grew up a little.
My spouse is getting a new phone number. There is no way my current brain can memorize a new 7 digit number. Now I need to buy one of those temporary tattoo pens so I don't have to write it on my hand every day for the rest of my life... just once a week for the rest of my life.
December 9, 2025 at 7:31 PM
My spouse is getting a new phone number. There is no way my current brain can memorize a new 7 digit number. Now I need to buy one of those temporary tattoo pens so I don't have to write it on my hand every day for the rest of my life... just once a week for the rest of my life.
Reposted by elyse
I am brimming with holiday spirit
December 8, 2025 at 12:47 PM
I am brimming with holiday spirit
Refreshing my email repeatedly, waiting for the email that there’s no daycare tomorrow (and maybe the next day) because 0.05” of “wintry mix” is in the forecast. Send help.
December 8, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Refreshing my email repeatedly, waiting for the email that there’s no daycare tomorrow (and maybe the next day) because 0.05” of “wintry mix” is in the forecast. Send help.
spotify wrapped says i'm in the top listeners of "swamp rock" & my listening age is 74... no application has ever been more correct about me.
December 4, 2025 at 4:36 PM
spotify wrapped says i'm in the top listeners of "swamp rock" & my listening age is 74... no application has ever been more correct about me.
Reposted by elyse
my spotify wrapped told me the exact date and time I would die
December 3, 2025 at 4:58 PM
my spotify wrapped told me the exact date and time I would die
My kids' new favorite game is to pretend they are newborn kittens and I am a kitten-eating robot from outer space who hunts them down to eat them but occasionally loses power and needs to be punched in the nose to resume felicidal function. Just a normal, loving family activity.
December 2, 2025 at 6:34 PM
My kids' new favorite game is to pretend they are newborn kittens and I am a kitten-eating robot from outer space who hunts them down to eat them but occasionally loses power and needs to be punched in the nose to resume felicidal function. Just a normal, loving family activity.