Lana Del Rhaenys
@vikkibitsyspider.bsky.social
“Way too horny” and “bewildering.”
Boyfriend: It wasn’t a sandwich…it was a hamburger.
Me: A burger IS a sandwich, HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MANIFESTO?!?
@culinarygeekroy.bsky.social
Me: A burger IS a sandwich, HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MANIFESTO?!?
@culinarygeekroy.bsky.social
December 17, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Boyfriend: It wasn’t a sandwich…it was a hamburger.
Me: A burger IS a sandwich, HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MANIFESTO?!?
@culinarygeekroy.bsky.social
Me: A burger IS a sandwich, HAVEN’T YOU READ MY MANIFESTO?!?
@culinarygeekroy.bsky.social
Someone at Haribo is drunk because what TF does two tablespoons of gummies look like?
December 10, 2025 at 10:17 PM
Someone at Haribo is drunk because what TF does two tablespoons of gummies look like?
I saw a negative eBay review for a lot of vintage clothing that said, “Not true vintage. All early 2000s,” and I was just like, “Oh, honey…”
December 6, 2025 at 8:39 PM
I saw a negative eBay review for a lot of vintage clothing that said, “Not true vintage. All early 2000s,” and I was just like, “Oh, honey…”
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
The vibe I’m bringing to the holiday party. 🎄
December 1, 2024 at 3:53 PM
The vibe I’m bringing to the holiday party. 🎄
I hope Gen Z kills Teams.
December 4, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I hope Gen Z kills Teams.
That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about
December 4, 2025 at 2:07 AM
That cancelled TV show you'll never stop thinking about
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
Idk if this is the quintessential Onion headline but I've thought of this at least once a week for almost a decade
December 3, 2025 at 5:14 PM
Idk if this is the quintessential Onion headline but I've thought of this at least once a week for almost a decade
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
Every day I have to hear about some asshole
February 28, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Every day I have to hear about some asshole
I just think the White House should have the same rules as an apartment lease. The (TEMPORARY) residents can decorate the inside, but you’re gonna incur some penalties if you start tearing down the walls. (1/2)
October 21, 2025 at 10:14 PM
I just think the White House should have the same rules as an apartment lease. The (TEMPORARY) residents can decorate the inside, but you’re gonna incur some penalties if you start tearing down the walls. (1/2)
The only thing I learned from three seasons of And Just Like That is that the writers absolutely ~~hate~~ The Youths.
Everyone under 30 was (deliberately??) written to be at best annoying and at worst deeply unpleasant.
Everyone under 30 was (deliberately??) written to be at best annoying and at worst deeply unpleasant.
August 16, 2025 at 8:10 PM
The only thing I learned from three seasons of And Just Like That is that the writers absolutely ~~hate~~ The Youths.
Everyone under 30 was (deliberately??) written to be at best annoying and at worst deeply unpleasant.
Everyone under 30 was (deliberately??) written to be at best annoying and at worst deeply unpleasant.
All men who fuck up should self-exile to Scranton.
July 27, 2025 at 9:51 PM
All men who fuck up should self-exile to Scranton.
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
The business card scene from American Psycho, only it’s me and all the other RAV4 owners in the Costco parking lot.
May 14, 2025 at 11:32 PM
The business card scene from American Psycho, only it’s me and all the other RAV4 owners in the Costco parking lot.
This box has the same approach to therapy that I do.
May 8, 2025 at 3:01 AM
This box has the same approach to therapy that I do.
JD Vance: I just wish the internet associated me with something other than the couch rumors.
[Monkey’s paw ominously curls one finger.]
[Monkey’s paw ominously curls one finger.]
April 21, 2025 at 10:43 PM
JD Vance: I just wish the internet associated me with something other than the couch rumors.
[Monkey’s paw ominously curls one finger.]
[Monkey’s paw ominously curls one finger.]
Me: Can we take a picture with the team furry?
Friend who enjoys sports: Please don’t refer to the mascot that way.
Friend who enjoys sports: Please don’t refer to the mascot that way.
April 17, 2025 at 9:14 PM
Me: Can we take a picture with the team furry?
Friend who enjoys sports: Please don’t refer to the mascot that way.
Friend who enjoys sports: Please don’t refer to the mascot that way.
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
my maniacal laughter can be heard from space
April 10, 2025 at 3:00 PM
my maniacal laughter can be heard from space
Oh, thank god, because those tariffs on China are about to make vibrators much more expensive.
April 10, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Oh, thank god, because those tariffs on China are about to make vibrators much more expensive.
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
I can no longer tell if I'm holding up surprisingly well right now because I did all of my grieving for the future back in 2024 or if I have just reached a state of emergency dissociation so extreme that I will not be feeling my feelings until 2026.
April 8, 2025 at 7:56 PM
I can no longer tell if I'm holding up surprisingly well right now because I did all of my grieving for the future back in 2024 or if I have just reached a state of emergency dissociation so extreme that I will not be feeling my feelings until 2026.
You know things are bad when the dealership is like, “Heeeyyyy, bestie! If you want a car you’d better buy one now before we’re all out of car and Daddy VW refuses to send us more car!”
(Bless their hearts for assuming anyone’s buying an AUDI in this economy.)
(Bless their hearts for assuming anyone’s buying an AUDI in this economy.)
April 8, 2025 at 8:00 PM
You know things are bad when the dealership is like, “Heeeyyyy, bestie! If you want a car you’d better buy one now before we’re all out of car and Daddy VW refuses to send us more car!”
(Bless their hearts for assuming anyone’s buying an AUDI in this economy.)
(Bless their hearts for assuming anyone’s buying an AUDI in this economy.)
This 86” television costs less than the mammogram my insurance refused to pay for.
April 8, 2025 at 7:34 PM
This 86” television costs less than the mammogram my insurance refused to pay for.
I made my own profile on the Peacock app so my roommate won’t know how many times I’ve had a “Wicked” and “Nosferatu” double feature.
March 29, 2025 at 11:40 PM
I made my own profile on the Peacock app so my roommate won’t know how many times I’ve had a “Wicked” and “Nosferatu” double feature.
Reposted by Lana Del Rhaenys
Excellent work by new NYT headline writer Werner Herzog
March 28, 2025 at 6:28 PM
Excellent work by new NYT headline writer Werner Herzog