Two velociraptors plan an attack.

“And then you show up from the side, and stare at that guy for a couple seconds before attacking.”

“Shouldn’t I surprise attack right away?”

“No no no, you have to give him time to call you a clever girl.”

“Ooh, I do want that.”

“Right?”

25 likes here are worth 25,000 at The Other Place. But that's ok because I get to form a close personal bond with anyone who likes a post 🤪

I utilised the chin strap in my hat today because it was windy. Is this the beginning of the end? Am I now officially middle aged? 😩

I dance like I’m trying to chase a ping pong ball around the garage

Power's still off. Just ate ALL the ice cream before it goes off. A glorious 25 minutes😍 May regret it for next 24 hrs tho. #StormDarragh

Ok so power is off, so whats for dinner? Baked potato in wood burner you say? Great idea. Turns out that's how they make charcoal. Who knew?

Arggh! the porn bots have found me! I thought I had escaped them when I fled from the other place. Damn you, sexy robots.

Is giant Keira Knightley really going to shoot a bearded four-year-old in the head? Or will tiny homunculus Ben Whishaw thwart her aim by firing a miniscule bullet into her knee?

Lying awake at 4am last night I could've sworn I heard my hamster very quietly say the word "tennis"

Got a tattoo on my arm that says "stop thinking about worms" but it's not helping

Shaved 5 minutes off my morning routine by brushing my teeth and riding the mechanical duck outside the supermarket at the same time

Congratulations to me for getting chased across the park by a goose then getting chased back across the park by a different goose

Ah, ye olde fuck about and finde oute

Me popping back to Twitter to see if it's improved....

But Muuuuuuuum, I don't want to learn to Joust!

cartoon of the day