My fellow Americans, I stand before you today, outdoors and in front of a pyramid of Folgers jugs, with a message and a question. That message is that I am calm and normal, and the question is "what is the largest number of dead birds you have seen at one time?"

before you criticize this person for their aim, what have you done to assassinate him?

You come here unannounced on the day my daughter is to be married

I get its the slang nowadays, but I get so weirded out when my son calls me 'bruh'

bow down before the one you serve, you're going to get what you deserve

Glad to have joined a third (or fourth) twitter-esq site and visiting each one makes me feel like I'm visiting different multiverses