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WulfHelm

@wulfhelm.bsky.social

6.8K followers 7.3K following 10K posts

Bretwalda of the Angli. Generous host of the Mead Hall Lord of Wülferhampton. Please use your Gods responsibly. Hinc videre possum domum tuam.

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WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · Mar 14

The sun will rise in the East tomorrow.

Your attendance is not required.

It would be nice if you were there though.

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WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 3m

Viking porn ain't what it used to be.

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 4m

Big Bob the Bastard is bigger than this.

Jenn de Jeune @jennay.bsky.social · 17m

Small adjustments made !🙄

Lemsip & Bob…

An oil painting of a deathbed scene, with various characters clustered round the bed in various poses.
A MAN WITH A COLD.
OIL ON CANVAS.

A small box of Lemsip and an image of Bob the cat has been added to the scene.

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 7m

This is the part where I pretend to care, yes?

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 8m

Replace 'loves' with 'sincerely hopes he won't seek medical attention for the lower intestinal parasitic infection that will ultimately kill him', and we're close.

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 11m

I am not eating sossidges.

So, no.

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WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 12m

a man in a leather jacket and tie is smiling .

ALT: a man in a leather jacket and tie is smiling .

media.tenor.com

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 13m

a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks ..

ALT: a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks ..

media.tenor.com

WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 14m

Dude. You need to see an arse doctor.

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WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 26m

Tonight on the Mead Hall menu (top table only) chicken chips n peas.

Lower. Spam, spam n spam.

Vegetarian/vegan option. Trill.

Scraps and scrapings by the leper gate as ever.

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WulfHelm @wulfhelm.bsky.social · 9h

To the tune of Lilley the Pink.

Bank of Mercia @bankmercia.bsky.social · 10h

"Wulfhelm the Mighty
Felt a little bit shitey
And so we gave him some more wine
And then we gave him Medicinal Compound
Now we're building him a shrine"

cc @wulfhelm.bsky.social @apothecaryhelm.bsky.social