R/newsentence

#newsentence

between the 20 times I've romanced Kaidan in Mass Effect and the dozen times I've failed to shiny hunt Squawkabilly in Pokemon Violet, I've probably got the 3rd most hours logged staring at pompadours, only sitting behind elvis fans and gangsta japanese anime middle schoolers

#newsentence

"...also after a while there was like a pile of failshoes that were cluttering the smash zone giving the spider fucking cover"
#newsentence

Spending this weekend pretending to be a butch lesbian werewolf to distract myself from the impending medical trauma thoughts surrounding my pussy installation.

#newsentence

“Do you think the girl in the car behind us would tattle on me? She’s white, so that’s not good, but she does have bangs so that’s in our favor.”

#newsentence

Honestly can’t even remember what this was about. I think there was something on the side of the road at a red light??

“What the hell man, you brought it in my house, then you let it be in my house.”
#newsentence

Cpt. Kirk (the kitty) captured a woodroach on the patio; his favorite pastime. Most of the time the bugs are moderately injured, but this one was perfectly fine and ran away until we caught it.

While doomscrolling, the phone was loud but we didn’t realize. Upon our cat’s confusion, the fiancé uttered…

“Sorry Molly, I was listening to a dog bark in reverse.”

Because he was, in fact, listening to a reversed bark sample. #newsentence

“It’s like an indirect kiss of crime.”

#newsentence

r/NewSentence

Bleach injection parties at the Gaza Riviera. #newsentence

#newsentence

r/newsentence

#NewSentence

#NewSentence

You can use CPAP wipes to clean boogers off your iPhone when you’re too sick to get out of bed

#newsentence