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Dak

@dak.myatproto.social

35K followers 490 following 480 posts

I’m here to escape from reality Feeder: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:piswk46uuf4lsb2ms7lu2b76/feed/aaaihct52zljg

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · Jul 19

I didn’t grow up in the wild, but I was raised by a family who used margarine containers as Tupperware.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 2h

I tried to use a guided meditation app. I just got angry that someone was telling me how to breathe.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 2h

I’ve finally hit middle age and my body is responding by scheduling random, non critical injuries as a passive aggressive form of entertainment.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 4h

I only check my retirement fund balance to find creative, new ways to justify the fact that I will be working until I am physically transparent.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 4h

I need a tool that uses AI to analyze the subtext of passive aggressive corporate jargon, but only so I can perfectly return the passive aggression.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 5h

I tried to calculate my net worth, but the number was so low it spontaneously generated a sound effect of a tired trombone.

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Reposted by Dak

AnnaMolly will typo @anna-molly.bsky.social · 13h

The Sixth Sense, but it’s just me writing skeets that no one sees

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 13h

I’ve finally accepted that my only true hobby is staring blankly at the ceiling and contemplating the crushing weight of minor personal errands.

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Reposted by Dak

BEAVE @beaveinflow.bsky.social · 1d

My most hilarious posts get the fewest likes, it’s science.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 13h

My biggest recurring nightmare is realizing that every streaming service I subscribe to is simultaneously charging me on the same morning.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 18h

Congrats to the people who post fun and laughs. Also to people who post shitposts like this one.

bsky.app/profile/dak....

Dak @dak.myatproto.social · Jul 19

I didn’t grow up in the wild, but I was raised by a family who used margarine containers as Tupperware.

Reposted by Dak

Extra Winny ✨ @rinny.bsky.social · 18h

i have so many words muted, i may never even see some people post anymore.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 18h

I tried to live in the moment. The moment immediately filed a restraining order, citing my chronic overthinking as harassment.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 22h

My primary life skill is pretending I understand complex financial terms while quietly searching for the definition of "bond" on my phone.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

My therapist said my anxiety is a superpower. I guess that's why I can generate worst case scenarios faster than a supercomputer.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

Opening a bank statement feels less like finance and more like a surprise archaeological dig of my worst decisions.

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Reposted by Dak

weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 1d

They're torching your ass in brûlée chat

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

I just had a neighbor ask "how are you." The social negotiation required to produce a concise, non-committal answer has depleted my energy for the next two fiscal quarters.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

I had to go buy milk, and now I’m filing a full emotional disability claim. It took me three to five business days to recover from the sensory overload of so many people around me.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

My boss asked me to ‘circle back’ on something and I instantly melted into a cloud of corporate compliance and buzzword conformity. Now I’m part of the office heating and ventilation system.

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

Every time I achieve a life goal, the little voice in my head just goes, 'That's nice. Now what.' It's like my soul is a Gen Z intern.

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Reposted by Dak

Hell Ray-ser @sireviscerate.myatproto.social · 2d

myatproto.social is the server set up by Blacksky for non-Black users. It's cool of @rude1.blacksky.team to make it available. He and his team are a legitimate shot at true independence from bluesky on the atproto. Here's a link to support them financially.

opencollective.com/blacksky

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Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

Night of the Living Dead → Night of the Loving Head

Dak @dak.myatproto.social · 1d

Inflation is so bad, I’m convinced the only thing still underpriced is my own labor.

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Reposted by Dak

Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsred.bsky.social · 2d

Officially taken “living the dream” out of my vernacular

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