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danmentos.com
dan mentos
@danmentos.com
19K followers 350 following 1.7K posts
it’s too late I’ve ruined it
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danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 11h
Time for troll dad:

You: I’m thinking of a letter between A and Z

Son: why?

You : that’s right
1 10
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 14h
DEADLINE: holy shit
1 19
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 14h
is that baseball game still going
5 5 110
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 14h
yes please
2
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 14h
there’s nothing in the rule book that says a dog can’t be the avatar
1 4
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 1d
Rollie Fingers
3 34
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 1d
the only fires I see are in his pants. on account of the lies, darth
2 2 60
Reposted by dan mentos
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · Apr 20
they should make the whole song out of the part where the drums come in
8 69
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
my job is to throw a ball to a guy all day and now everyone’s mad at me for throwing the ball to that guy
1 1 51
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
having something to kick stuff under is a human right
7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 2d
hot take: the sleepytime bear is complicit by inaction
2 4 45
Reposted by dan mentos
frovo.bsky.social
Frovo @frovo.bsky.social · Oct 9
[forest]
ME: omg there’s a wolf
WIFE: where?
ME: no the regular kind
6 190 830
Reposted by dan mentos
lanyardigan.bsky.social
lanyardigan @lanyardigan.bsky.social · Jan 7
This is my post-baby body (I used to be a baby)
2 330 1.9K
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
professor the next morning: holy shit
7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
a trigger warning would have been nice I thought this was real
1 5
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
8 hours? wow no need to brag
1 7
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
every documentary needs a foil
1 2
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 3d
🏆
1 2
Reposted by dan mentos
captainacab.airbud.website
alboo @captainacab.airbud.website · 5d
[coworker asks me what my plans are this weekend]

me: am i being detained?
1 45 320
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road but its about going back to Fark
weeder.bsky.social
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 5d
Everyone is leaving bluesky and going to Fark.com
2 2 37
Reposted by dan mentos
weeder.bsky.social
weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 5d
So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position?

Hulk Hogan:
An app icon of a printer/scanner combo and the app name "brother iPrint&Scan"
23 360 2.1K
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 5d
sure pal enjoy your second-hand light. meanwhile I'll be staring directly at the source
1 14
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
every year I procrastinate and end up using the previous year’s costume, and every year I have to explain to more and more people who ken bone was
4 23 210
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
a man in a suit and tie says our long national nightmare is over .
Alt: Gerald Ford: Our long national nightmare is over
media.tenor.com
27
danmentos.com
dan mentos @danmentos.com · 6d
look at all these fuckin oranges
a field of pumpkins on the ground
3 3 63