Apocrypals
@apocrypals.bsky.social
The podcast where Chris Sims and Benito Cereno read Bible and Bible-adjacent literature and try not to be ding-dangs about it
https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/
https://apocrypals.dashery.com/
https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/
https://apocrypals.dashery.com/
I like the ones where Dan says a cuss
He says a few in this one, but still quite a few less than I would have for Mike Johnson
He says a few in this one, but still quite a few less than I would have for Mike Johnson
February 10, 2026 at 4:53 PM
I like the ones where Dan says a cuss
He says a few in this one, but still quite a few less than I would have for Mike Johnson
He says a few in this one, but still quite a few less than I would have for Mike Johnson
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Y'all enjoy the big game. I'm parading tonight.
(Remember back when I would post a photo like this on that other app and all the trads would lose their minds? I miss that.)
(Remember back when I would post a photo like this on that other app and all the trads would lose their minds? I miss that.)
February 9, 2026 at 12:11 AM
Y'all enjoy the big game. I'm parading tonight.
(Remember back when I would post a photo like this on that other app and all the trads would lose their minds? I miss that.)
(Remember back when I would post a photo like this on that other app and all the trads would lose their minds? I miss that.)
Reposted by Apocrypals
Unfortunately, no. There is no way to convert heavy water into holy heavy water.
However, if you start with Holy Water, electrolyze it within a blessed Buchner flask, add Holy Peroxide, then freeze it in a reliquary and purge, the remainder will be Holy Heavy Water.
However, if you start with Holy Water, electrolyze it within a blessed Buchner flask, add Holy Peroxide, then freeze it in a reliquary and purge, the remainder will be Holy Heavy Water.
February 8, 2026 at 11:15 PM
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Shalom friends! Enjoy this blog I wrote for Reboot, a case study in adapting tales from a deeply patriarchal tradition, shaped by male storytellers, into modern feminist Midrash…while STILL having each plot twist and character trait rooted in those same ancient texts!
rebooting.com/article/jewi...
rebooting.com/article/jewi...
Retelling Eden: Feminism, Folklore and Narrative Reclamation
As a formerly Orthodox, now secular, deeply online millennial woman who loves the incredible extended chain of shared imagination that makes up the Jewish people’s collective narrative world-building,...
rebooting.com
February 8, 2026 at 2:51 PM
Shalom friends! Enjoy this blog I wrote for Reboot, a case study in adapting tales from a deeply patriarchal tradition, shaped by male storytellers, into modern feminist Midrash…while STILL having each plot twist and character trait rooted in those same ancient texts!
rebooting.com/article/jewi...
rebooting.com/article/jewi...
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Oof. The last thing I want to do is defend fucking St. Paul, but I forget how many people don’t realize a lot (sadly not all, but a lot) of the worst shit in his letters was forged by later, shittier people to give his authority to their shitty ideas.
February 8, 2026 at 2:49 PM
Oof. The last thing I want to do is defend fucking St. Paul, but I forget how many people don’t realize a lot (sadly not all, but a lot) of the worst shit in his letters was forged by later, shittier people to give his authority to their shitty ideas.
Dan mentions that these broader traditions about the apostles are rejected by almost all Christians, but not that it's because they're full of talking animals, flying dudes, cannibals, and so on
If you'd like to know more about the apocryphal acts of the apostles, have I got a podcast for you
If you'd like to know more about the apocryphal acts of the apostles, have I got a podcast for you
February 4, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Dan mentions that these broader traditions about the apostles are rejected by almost all Christians, but not that it's because they're full of talking animals, flying dudes, cannibals, and so on
If you'd like to know more about the apocryphal acts of the apostles, have I got a podcast for you
If you'd like to know more about the apocryphal acts of the apostles, have I got a podcast for you
Reposted by Apocrypals
CHOTINER: So it was just you and your brother.
CAIN: And our parents, yes.
CHOTINER: They were with each other that day, is that correct?
CAIN: As it turned out.
CHOTINER: So naturally they wouldnt suspect anyone else.
CAIN: Well no, but—
CHOTINER: What made you think you'd get away with it?
CAIN: And our parents, yes.
CHOTINER: They were with each other that day, is that correct?
CAIN: As it turned out.
CHOTINER: So naturally they wouldnt suspect anyone else.
CAIN: Well no, but—
CHOTINER: What made you think you'd get away with it?
February 3, 2026 at 3:26 AM
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I love seeing Christians’ first reactions to the Hebrew text of the Torah. Today, my Catholic classmate learned for the very first time that Moses split the “Reed Sea,” not the “Red Sea.” It blew her mind! #Jewish
January 29, 2026 at 10:09 AM
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I gave a Paul tutorial yesterday and made reference to Paul Foster’s informal survey of BNTC attendees on questions of authorship of the epistles; and remembered that Bruce Longenecker supervised a more recent, slightly more detailed such survey. Here are Foster’s and Longenecker/Hess’s results:
January 28, 2026 at 3:57 PM
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In the 2025 video game Hollow Knight: Silksong, the hero and player character Hornet descends into the deepest reaches of an ancient prison to free from captivity and slumber a character named First Sinner, clearly evocative of the Harrowing of Hell and Original Sin.
In this essay, I will...
In this essay, I will...
January 27, 2026 at 11:50 PM
In the 2025 video game Hollow Knight: Silksong, the hero and player character Hornet descends into the deepest reaches of an ancient prison to free from captivity and slumber a character named First Sinner, clearly evocative of the Harrowing of Hell and Original Sin.
In this essay, I will...
In this essay, I will...
Reposted by Apocrypals
Reposted by Apocrypals
@apocrypals.bsky.social These made me think if you guys! www.instagram.com/reel/DRa0CoY...
hampton_ on Instagram: "You leave for 5 seconds and miss EVERYTHINGView all 246 comments"
You leave for 5 seconds and miss EVERYTHING
www.instagram.com
January 20, 2026 at 9:20 PM
@apocrypals.bsky.social These made me think if you guys! www.instagram.com/reel/DRa0CoY...
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It’s like they’re not even aware how many Mormons can’t stand me.
January 19, 2026 at 7:14 AM
It’s like they’re not even aware how many Mormons can’t stand me.
It always cracks me up when people attribute the motivation for Dan’s scholarship to some oblique Mormon conspiracy
You know, that thing Mormons are always going on about? How the Pentateuch is a literary redaction of multiple sources composed with differing rhetorical goals?
You know, that thing Mormons are always going on about? How the Pentateuch is a literary redaction of multiple sources composed with differing rhetorical goals?
January 18, 2026 at 10:17 PM
It always cracks me up when people attribute the motivation for Dan’s scholarship to some oblique Mormon conspiracy
You know, that thing Mormons are always going on about? How the Pentateuch is a literary redaction of multiple sources composed with differing rhetorical goals?
You know, that thing Mormons are always going on about? How the Pentateuch is a literary redaction of multiple sources composed with differing rhetorical goals?
Reposted by Apocrypals
January 17, 2026 at 3:30 PM
Please celebrate responsibly
January 15, 2026 at 2:22 AM
Please celebrate responsibly
My brain when I hear @maklelan.bsky.social pronounce Koine with a Modern accent
![Edited Cap’n Crunch box labeled OOPS! ALL [i], a joke about how most Greek vowels and diphthongs collapsed into the phoneme [i], which sounds like ee in English. Google iotacism for more on this linguistic phenomenon](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4plvx7safxfiifbu3o4hxdyu/bafkreihn6m5fc4z4wmmcxw7ltaqabi5npzuyxvcregfggrylytpsscb5ua@jpeg)
January 13, 2026 at 1:28 AM
My brain when I hear @maklelan.bsky.social pronounce Koine with a Modern accent
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It's Epiphany, which means it's time for Cuddling Kings in Medieval art
January 6, 2025 at 3:06 PM
It's Epiphany, which means it's time for Cuddling Kings in Medieval art
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You should start this new year by checking out the art book a bunch of the best artists did.
it´s 72 unique demon illustrations!
catymiau.itch.io/ars-goetia
it´s 72 unique demon illustrations!
catymiau.itch.io/ars-goetia
Ars Goetia Illustrated by Catymiau
An illustrated version of the legendary tome
catymiau.itch.io
January 5, 2026 at 1:03 AM
You should start this new year by checking out the art book a bunch of the best artists did.
it´s 72 unique demon illustrations!
catymiau.itch.io/ars-goetia
it´s 72 unique demon illustrations!
catymiau.itch.io/ars-goetia
I haven’t watched it yet, but it feels inevitable
Having listened to the @pontifactspod.bsky.social Patreon episode about The Carpenter's son, I now desperately also want to know what @apocrypals.bsky.social thinks of it.
January 3, 2026 at 3:27 AM
I haven’t watched it yet, but it feels inevitable
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Responding to Mike Winger's sectarianism
YouTube video by Dan McClellan
youtu.be
December 29, 2025 at 6:16 PM
December 24, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Happy holidays everyone! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas week — but maybe we can help add to the festivities with some classic Christmas episodes
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
Apocrypals: 29: These Apocryphal Ravings (The Infancy Gospel of James)
Mary Christmas, Theophiloi! Normally at this time of year, you get a nice little reading from Luke about being sore afraid and wishing peace on Earth and goodwill to men. Unfortunately, we already cov...
apocrypals.libsyn.com
December 24, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Happy holidays everyone! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas week — but maybe we can help add to the festivities with some classic Christmas episodes
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
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$2.99 eBook of The Bible Says So! #maklelan3051
YouTube video by Dan McClellan
youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 3:50 PM
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