Balderdash
@balderdash.bsky.social
I placed my onions
on the floor,
under the window
by the door.
The layers of nuance
caught their eyes,
the day I won
The Turner Prize
on the floor,
under the window
by the door.
The layers of nuance
caught their eyes,
the day I won
The Turner Prize
Pinned
Balderdash
@balderdash.bsky.social
· Oct 11
12 year old daughter told me she has her first boyfriend “accidentally as we don’t really know each other.” I said ‘ha, just like me and your mother.’ No-one laughed. Atmosphere remains frosty at best.
#diary
#diary
Reposted by Balderdash
[bursts in panting covered in Sharpie]
November 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
[bursts in panting covered in Sharpie]
Amazes me why none of the top six have never gone for Pickford.
November 24, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Amazes me why none of the top six have never gone for Pickford.
Best football stat of the season:
Only three players touched the ball fewer times in the first half than Joshua Zirkzee (16) and one of them played nine minutes and another was sent off for hitting their team-mate.
Only three players touched the ball fewer times in the first half than Joshua Zirkzee (16) and one of them played nine minutes and another was sent off for hitting their team-mate.
November 24, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Best football stat of the season:
Only three players touched the ball fewer times in the first half than Joshua Zirkzee (16) and one of them played nine minutes and another was sent off for hitting their team-mate.
Only three players touched the ball fewer times in the first half than Joshua Zirkzee (16) and one of them played nine minutes and another was sent off for hitting their team-mate.
Just looking at Zak Crawley’s record ‘down under’ (New Zealand and Australia) where the pitches suit his game.
10 tests
19 innings
277 runs
1 fifty
Average: 14:57
10 tests
19 innings
277 runs
1 fifty
Average: 14:57
November 24, 2025 at 9:06 PM
Just looking at Zak Crawley’s record ‘down under’ (New Zealand and Australia) where the pitches suit his game.
10 tests
19 innings
277 runs
1 fifty
Average: 14:57
10 tests
19 innings
277 runs
1 fifty
Average: 14:57
United 0 Ten-man Everton 1
Great to see United’s resurgence in form with their particular highlight being Joshua Zirkzee’s hair back on the hallowed turf.
Great to see United’s resurgence in form with their particular highlight being Joshua Zirkzee’s hair back on the hallowed turf.
November 24, 2025 at 8:33 PM
United 0 Ten-man Everton 1
Great to see United’s resurgence in form with their particular highlight being Joshua Zirkzee’s hair back on the hallowed turf.
Great to see United’s resurgence in form with their particular highlight being Joshua Zirkzee’s hair back on the hallowed turf.
Pump up the Jam is definitely one of my top 5 songs about fruit preservation methods though admittedly, introducing pneumatics contravenes most health and safety protocols.
November 24, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Pump up the Jam is definitely one of my top 5 songs about fruit preservation methods though admittedly, introducing pneumatics contravenes most health and safety protocols.
Reposted by Balderdash
As I've always said, will be happy to have Eze back at Palace if things don't work out for him at the Arsenal.
November 23, 2025 at 7:42 PM
As I've always said, will be happy to have Eze back at Palace if things don't work out for him at the Arsenal.
Reposted by Balderdash
Jeremy Hunt to sing with The Wonder Stuff and Miles Hunt to sort the NHS out
November 23, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Jeremy Hunt to sing with The Wonder Stuff and Miles Hunt to sort the NHS out
Refuse to accept that Peter Beardsley and Aubrey Beardsley are not related.
November 23, 2025 at 5:46 PM
Refuse to accept that Peter Beardsley and Aubrey Beardsley are not related.
Reposted by Balderdash
Nick Knowles prancing round on stage in sequinned bra & pants belting out Single Ladies whilst Beyonce is busy sanding down floorboards in Andover refurbishing a derelict bungalow for a wheelchair using ex Para and his dog to move into.
November 23, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Nick Knowles prancing round on stage in sequinned bra & pants belting out Single Ladies whilst Beyonce is busy sanding down floorboards in Andover refurbishing a derelict bungalow for a wheelchair using ex Para and his dog to move into.
Reposted by Balderdash
They'd have to stop playing every 5 minutes for Oliver to turn to camera and tell everyone how amazing his offside decision was.
November 23, 2025 at 5:17 PM
They'd have to stop playing every 5 minutes for Oliver to turn to camera and tell everyone how amazing his offside decision was.
Reposted by Balderdash
Historical mashup : Suzie Blake writes the lyrics to Jerusalem while William Blake apologises to viewers in the North because it must be awful for them
November 23, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Historical mashup : Suzie Blake writes the lyrics to Jerusalem while William Blake apologises to viewers in the North because it must be awful for them
New tv idea: famous people who share the same surname to swap roles for a month. Would love to see Jamie Oliver refereeing the North London derby and Michael Oliver making a nice pie.
November 23, 2025 at 5:13 PM
New tv idea: famous people who share the same surname to swap roles for a month. Would love to see Jamie Oliver refereeing the North London derby and Michael Oliver making a nice pie.
Just reading David Nicholls’ superb ‘You are Here,’ again and imagining who would play Marnie and Martin in a film (really hope this happens). I’ve picked two for each: Olivia Colman, Sian Clifford, Adeel Akhtar and Tom Hollander.
November 23, 2025 at 5:08 PM
Just reading David Nicholls’ superb ‘You are Here,’ again and imagining who would play Marnie and Martin in a film (really hope this happens). I’ve picked two for each: Olivia Colman, Sian Clifford, Adeel Akhtar and Tom Hollander.
Reposted by Balderdash
A heads up! Stuart Maconie interviews Stewart Lee and @stephenhanley6.bsky.social about the forthcoming audiobook the BIG MIDWEEK on tonight’s #Freakzone on @BBC6Music between 7.30 & 8 tonight! Sunday! Here’s Stew interviewing Steve too! 💥 thequietus.com/news/watch-s...
Watch Stewart Lee Interview The Fall's Steve Hanley Ahead of New Audiobook | The Quietus
First published in 2015, Steve Hanley’s memoir The Big Midweek (co-written with Olivia Piekarski) details his 19 years as the ‘backbone’ of The Fall. Perhaps second only to Mark E. Smith himself when ...
thequietus.com
November 23, 2025 at 12:20 PM
A heads up! Stuart Maconie interviews Stewart Lee and @stephenhanley6.bsky.social about the forthcoming audiobook the BIG MIDWEEK on tonight’s #Freakzone on @BBC6Music between 7.30 & 8 tonight! Sunday! Here’s Stew interviewing Steve too! 💥 thequietus.com/news/watch-s...
Reposted by Balderdash
This is incredible work from @realpaulputner.bsky.social www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGmA...
Frankie Tan as different comedians.
YouTube video by Paul Putner
www.youtube.com
November 23, 2025 at 9:48 AM
This is incredible work from @realpaulputner.bsky.social www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGmA...
Wonderful to see a woman referee in the New Zealand v Wales game. Another important step towards equality and respect. Also, something nice for the dads to look at.
November 22, 2025 at 3:28 PM
Wonderful to see a woman referee in the New Zealand v Wales game. Another important step towards equality and respect. Also, something nice for the dads to look at.
Wonderful innings but in some way it ruined (Australia obviously won’t care) what would probably have been a brilliant close run chase.
November 22, 2025 at 10:01 AM
Wonderful innings but in some way it ruined (Australia obviously won’t care) what would probably have been a brilliant close run chase.
One of the takeaways for England is that Zak Crawley has proven McCullum wrong. His 0 in the first and 0 in the second innings has shown he can be consistent.
November 22, 2025 at 9:49 AM
One of the takeaways for England is that Zak Crawley has proven McCullum wrong. His 0 in the first and 0 in the second innings has shown he can be consistent.
England may win this but that’s the worse collective display since Stokes and McCullum took over. Twice in positions of strength but Pope, Brook, Root, Carse, Archer and Atkinson just gifted their wickets.
November 22, 2025 at 6:56 AM
England may win this but that’s the worse collective display since Stokes and McCullum took over. Twice in positions of strength but Pope, Brook, Root, Carse, Archer and Atkinson just gifted their wickets.
Incredibly poor from England’s middle order. They talk about ‘putting the opposition under pressure’ but the best way of doing that would have been to keep the bowlers out there. Lyon’s been off the pitch injured, can’t bowl but it’s only now the pace bowlers are beginning to tire.
November 22, 2025 at 6:41 AM
Incredibly poor from England’s middle order. They talk about ‘putting the opposition under pressure’ but the best way of doing that would have been to keep the bowlers out there. Lyon’s been off the pitch injured, can’t bowl but it’s only now the pace bowlers are beginning to tire.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS UMPIRE? You’ve seen there’s a massive gap, said it two minutes ago and we still have to watch it countless times.
November 22, 2025 at 6:13 AM
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS UMPIRE? You’ve seen there’s a massive gap, said it two minutes ago and we still have to watch it countless times.
The Telegraph again screaming into the void. The journalistic equivalent of Farage - whinging & complaining without doing anything constructive. TNT did a good job. Becky Ives was great and Finn and Langer are anything but dull. Compare that with Fox’s coverage which opened up with Vaughan & Warner.
November 21, 2025 at 6:06 PM
The Telegraph again screaming into the void. The journalistic equivalent of Farage - whinging & complaining without doing anything constructive. TNT did a good job. Becky Ives was great and Finn and Langer are anything but dull. Compare that with Fox’s coverage which opened up with Vaughan & Warner.
England’s approach to batting often gets criticised but the positive intent today has given them an edge. Nobody apart from Crawley (an ill-advised waft) gave their wicket away (Smith was 9th out with the bowlers looking for quick runs). Most batsmen struggled with only Pope playing really well.
November 21, 2025 at 10:26 AM
England’s approach to batting often gets criticised but the positive intent today has given them an edge. Nobody apart from Crawley (an ill-advised waft) gave their wicket away (Smith was 9th out with the bowlers looking for quick runs). Most batsmen struggled with only Pope playing really well.
Australia 83-6 and England through to the bowlers. Opportunity for Crawley to get two ducks in a day.
November 21, 2025 at 9:11 AM
Australia 83-6 and England through to the bowlers. Opportunity for Crawley to get two ducks in a day.