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Unassuming Local Guy

@bionicslingshot.bsky.social

6.6K followers 2.4K following 17K posts

Dad to all cats. Elder millennial. Practicing homosexual. Gaming enthusiast. Older than Donkey Kong & MTV.

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Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · Apr 5

Hurry up and hop in the car, buddy boy, we’re going antiquing today.

A man (specifically, the one who posted this skeet) is taking a mirror selfie in an absurd pose that’s meant to look casual but — upon the slightest of reflection — is clearly anything but. There’s one exposed nipple, which definitely happened by accident!

He is wearing brown chinos and an unbuttoned, navy blue, short-sleeved, collared shirt. He’s standing in his home gym (a glorified spare bedroom) and there is a sparse scene behind him, consisting of a plain white wall and a weight bench.

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 5h

Well that’s certainly not helping haha

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 5h

Won’t have a problem there! 🤣

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 5h

NO I have not!

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 5h

Just always so perky. 🫠

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 5h

Jesus Christ, guys, maybe swap the structure of that first sentence around? “In Kathryn Bigelow’s new Netflix film, a single nuclear warhead…”

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 6h

Oh yeah that might be better 🤣

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 6h

The best movie theater candy, hands down.

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 6h

a skeleton is standing on a sidewalk with the words spoopy written on it .

ALT: a skeleton is standing on a sidewalk with the words spoopy written on it .

media.tenor.com

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

a woman in a red sweater is saying maybe while sitting at a table .

ALT: a woman in a red sweater is saying maybe while sitting at a table .

media.tenor.com

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

YES THAT

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

I loved your car discourse. 🤣

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

Thank you!!

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

This is the other acceptable option!!

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

NOTE TO SELF: if you feel tempted to post something and feel the need to preface it with “This is probably a weird thing to say, but…” maybe don’t post it!

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

YES. And then probably a sandwich or something.

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

Hahaha it’s quite alright I shall survive! 😅

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

lol this seems fair

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

If I did anything to get pregnant, I certainly don’t remember it.

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

This is probably an incredibly strange thing to say, but the distribution, density, and pattern of your body hair are all just unbelievably attractive. 😮‍💨

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

Hungry and brain-fogged but also slightly nauseous, just as an FYI!

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

Consistently top-tier performance here 😮‍💨

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

OOF, I’m sorry to hear it!! Guess that makes me feel a little better about rawdogging it then 🥴 lol

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

That’s on the agenda after the 5th hour of back to back teams meetings haha

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

a young boy wearing a blue shirt is looking up at the sky .

ALT: a young boy wearing a blue shirt is looking up at the sky .

media.tenor.com

Unassuming Local Guy @bionicslingshot.bsky.social · 7h

I can’t! 🤣