Calum
@calumdotexe.bsky.social
President and founder of Yuko Esports
"I-It's not what you think, it's normally a lot bigger! It's the cold making it shrink!"
"Babe your pussy looks fine don't worry about it"
"Babe your pussy looks fine don't worry about it"
February 9, 2026 at 1:45 AM
"I-It's not what you think, it's normally a lot bigger! It's the cold making it shrink!"
"Babe your pussy looks fine don't worry about it"
"Babe your pussy looks fine don't worry about it"
Nativity scenes need to make sure they don't picture Joseph sitting down to avoid drawing connections to The Cuck Chair
February 9, 2026 at 1:27 AM
Nativity scenes need to make sure they don't picture Joseph sitting down to avoid drawing connections to The Cuck Chair
Doctor gave me the result for my urine test. Apparently it "tastes bad"
February 9, 2026 at 1:18 AM
Doctor gave me the result for my urine test. Apparently it "tastes bad"
Reposted by Calum
Alright that's it fuck you [Microwaves fish at your house]
February 8, 2026 at 10:24 PM
Alright that's it fuck you [Microwaves fish at your house]
Reposted by Calum
There is so much to this. The bad lip syncing. JD Vance trying desperately to pretend he likes this music. The middle-aged Republicans who clearly didn't know who Kid Rock was until tonight.
guys. the kid rock performance is uh. well it’s exactly what you’d expect
February 8, 2026 at 6:54 AM
There is so much to this. The bad lip syncing. JD Vance trying desperately to pretend he likes this music. The middle-aged Republicans who clearly didn't know who Kid Rock was until tonight.
Reposted by Calum
A fine example of how executives aren’t where they are because they’re competent, clever, or useful. The job exists to give mediocre rich people something to pretend to do.
OK so now the former CEO of Tumblr is running the Washington Post. Tumblr. A company whose history is a textbook case study in corporate value destruction.
February 8, 2026 at 10:05 AM
A fine example of how executives aren’t where they are because they’re competent, clever, or useful. The job exists to give mediocre rich people something to pretend to do.
Introducing competitive Shitting Upwards. Contestants point their asses up and start pooping and whoever's turd reaches the highest before it breaks or flops or falls out or whatever is the winner! (Solid turds only, squirting diarrhea high up doesn't count, that's a different sport)
February 8, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Introducing competitive Shitting Upwards. Contestants point their asses up and start pooping and whoever's turd reaches the highest before it breaks or flops or falls out or whatever is the winner! (Solid turds only, squirting diarrhea high up doesn't count, that's a different sport)
My next post is gonna be extremely "old me". You've been warned
February 8, 2026 at 1:45 AM
My next post is gonna be extremely "old me". You've been warned
Guy who's scared to have sex cause he's worried he'll do the Hank Hill "bwaaahhh" when he gets it in
February 8, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Guy who's scared to have sex cause he's worried he'll do the Hank Hill "bwaaahhh" when he gets it in
It's so funny watching media trying to drum up sympathy for "small landlords". Oh, but won't you, who'll never own a home, show pity for the little guy who only owns a few homes and as such is richer than you can imagine? Doesn't it break your heart
February 8, 2026 at 1:00 AM
It's so funny watching media trying to drum up sympathy for "small landlords". Oh, but won't you, who'll never own a home, show pity for the little guy who only owns a few homes and as such is richer than you can imagine? Doesn't it break your heart
Reposted by Calum
7 386/26k RUB, Still need 18614₽ (~204 EUR or 214 USD) and have 2 days remaining until rent day, please help if you're able
February 7, 2026 at 8:42 PM
7 386/26k RUB, Still need 18614₽ (~204 EUR or 214 USD) and have 2 days remaining until rent day, please help if you're able
If I became president of the US I'd for sure get rid of that chair in the oval office. I'm sure they clean it but I would not be able to deal with knowing Trump routinely shitted on it
February 7, 2026 at 8:52 PM
If I became president of the US I'd for sure get rid of that chair in the oval office. I'm sure they clean it but I would not be able to deal with knowing Trump routinely shitted on it
Christ, who's dick do I gotta suck to get some service round here? ...What's that? That's not how it works? I'm sorry, I thought I was at the dick sucking restaurant. What an embarrassing mix-up
February 7, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Christ, who's dick do I gotta suck to get some service round here? ...What's that? That's not how it works? I'm sorry, I thought I was at the dick sucking restaurant. What an embarrassing mix-up
One of my favorite bits in Kitchen Nightmares was Gordon Ramsay compared the dish in front of him to a sopping wet newspaper, then took a bite and said "it's dry :/"
February 6, 2026 at 11:22 PM
One of my favorite bits in Kitchen Nightmares was Gordon Ramsay compared the dish in front of him to a sopping wet newspaper, then took a bite and said "it's dry :/"
Belgian news hyping up the BG3 show cause Larian is Belgian but still very funny to see it called a "Ghent video game". I don't get a distinct Ghent vibe off of BG3. Astarion does not speak in an East-Flemish dialect.
February 6, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Belgian news hyping up the BG3 show cause Larian is Belgian but still very funny to see it called a "Ghent video game". I don't get a distinct Ghent vibe off of BG3. Astarion does not speak in an East-Flemish dialect.
Reposted by Calum
I am oppa gangnam styling towards your location and rapidly approaching
October 12, 2023 at 12:39 AM
I am oppa gangnam styling towards your location and rapidly approaching
Reposted by Calum
Relax, bread department
February 6, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Relax, bread department
Reposted by Calum
Crowdfund link: boosty.to/redtippedbra...
January 29, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Crowdfund link: boosty.to/redtippedbra...
There Will Be Buttholes
February 6, 2026 at 12:24 AM
There Will Be Buttholes
The plural of "sheep" is "shope"
February 6, 2026 at 12:19 AM
The plural of "sheep" is "shope"
Reposted by Calum
GOD: Don't you hate it when you give people free will and they use it in a way you don't like, which you knew they would because you're omniscient and it was all part of your plan? Shit pisses me off man
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
July 23, 2025 at 4:06 PM
GOD: Don't you hate it when you give people free will and they use it in a way you don't like, which you knew they would because you're omniscient and it was all part of your plan? Shit pisses me off man
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother