Calum
@calumdotexe.bsky.social
President and founder of Yuko Esports
Introducing competitive Shitting Upwards. Contestants point their asses up and start pooping and whoever's turd reaches the highest before it breaks or flops or falls out or whatever is the winner! (Solid turds only, squirting diarrhea high up doesn't count, that's a different sport)
February 8, 2026 at 1:48 AM
Introducing competitive Shitting Upwards. Contestants point their asses up and start pooping and whoever's turd reaches the highest before it breaks or flops or falls out or whatever is the winner! (Solid turds only, squirting diarrhea high up doesn't count, that's a different sport)
My next post is gonna be extremely "old me". You've been warned
February 8, 2026 at 1:45 AM
My next post is gonna be extremely "old me". You've been warned
Guy who's scared to have sex cause he's worried he'll do the Hank Hill "bwaaahhh" when he gets it in
February 8, 2026 at 1:43 AM
Guy who's scared to have sex cause he's worried he'll do the Hank Hill "bwaaahhh" when he gets it in
It's so funny watching media trying to drum up sympathy for "small landlords". Oh, but won't you, who'll never own a home, show pity for the little guy who only owns a few homes and as such is richer than you can imagine? Doesn't it break your heart
February 8, 2026 at 1:00 AM
It's so funny watching media trying to drum up sympathy for "small landlords". Oh, but won't you, who'll never own a home, show pity for the little guy who only owns a few homes and as such is richer than you can imagine? Doesn't it break your heart
Reposted by Calum
7 386/26k RUB, Still need 18614₽ (~204 EUR or 214 USD) and have 2 days remaining until rent day, please help if you're able
February 7, 2026 at 8:42 PM
7 386/26k RUB, Still need 18614₽ (~204 EUR or 214 USD) and have 2 days remaining until rent day, please help if you're able
If I became president of the US I'd for sure get rid of that chair in the oval office. I'm sure they clean it but I would not be able to deal with knowing Trump routinely shitted on it
February 7, 2026 at 8:52 PM
If I became president of the US I'd for sure get rid of that chair in the oval office. I'm sure they clean it but I would not be able to deal with knowing Trump routinely shitted on it
Christ, who's dick do I gotta suck to get some service round here? ...What's that? That's not how it works? I'm sorry, I thought I was at the dick sucking restaurant. What an embarrassing mix-up
February 7, 2026 at 8:50 PM
Christ, who's dick do I gotta suck to get some service round here? ...What's that? That's not how it works? I'm sorry, I thought I was at the dick sucking restaurant. What an embarrassing mix-up
One of my favorite bits in Kitchen Nightmares was Gordon Ramsay compared the dish in front of him to a sopping wet newspaper, then took a bite and said "it's dry :/"
February 6, 2026 at 11:22 PM
One of my favorite bits in Kitchen Nightmares was Gordon Ramsay compared the dish in front of him to a sopping wet newspaper, then took a bite and said "it's dry :/"
Belgian news hyping up the BG3 show cause Larian is Belgian but still very funny to see it called a "Ghent video game". I don't get a distinct Ghent vibe off of BG3. Astarion does not speak in an East-Flemish dialect.
February 6, 2026 at 11:18 PM
Belgian news hyping up the BG3 show cause Larian is Belgian but still very funny to see it called a "Ghent video game". I don't get a distinct Ghent vibe off of BG3. Astarion does not speak in an East-Flemish dialect.
Reposted by Calum
I am oppa gangnam styling towards your location and rapidly approaching
October 12, 2023 at 12:39 AM
I am oppa gangnam styling towards your location and rapidly approaching
Reposted by Calum
Relax, bread department
February 6, 2026 at 1:16 AM
Relax, bread department
Reposted by Calum
Crowdfund link: boosty.to/redtippedbra...
January 29, 2026 at 5:07 PM
Crowdfund link: boosty.to/redtippedbra...
There Will Be Buttholes
February 6, 2026 at 12:24 AM
There Will Be Buttholes
The plural of "sheep" is "shope"
February 6, 2026 at 12:19 AM
The plural of "sheep" is "shope"
Reposted by Calum
GOD: Don't you hate it when you give people free will and they use it in a way you don't like, which you knew they would because you're omniscient and it was all part of your plan? Shit pisses me off man
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
July 23, 2025 at 4:06 PM
GOD: Don't you hate it when you give people free will and they use it in a way you don't like, which you knew they would because you're omniscient and it was all part of your plan? Shit pisses me off man
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
ME: [Trying not to be rude] Yeah I get you, ain't that the truth brother
Sometimes a days worth of shits happen in a week, sometimes a week’s worth of shits happen in a day
February 5, 2026 at 8:33 PM
Sometimes a days worth of shits happen in a week, sometimes a week’s worth of shits happen in a day
Chuck Schumer, glaring at his GOP opponents, slammed his fist on the table and furiously made his case. "I demand that at some point in the future, if you agree with it, you start following the laws we already have in place. Unless you don't wanna." The room went silent. He'd never spoken so harshly
February 5, 2026 at 6:48 PM
Chuck Schumer, glaring at his GOP opponents, slammed his fist on the table and furiously made his case. "I demand that at some point in the future, if you agree with it, you start following the laws we already have in place. Unless you don't wanna." The room went silent. He'd never spoken so harshly
If only I could just buy Dark Ties on its own since that's the bit I'm mainly interested it, but it only comes bundled with the game that has the sex pest VA in it. Very ass
February 5, 2026 at 6:01 PM
If only I could just buy Dark Ties on its own since that's the bit I'm mainly interested it, but it only comes bundled with the game that has the sex pest VA in it. Very ass
Nekomata Okayu
a close up of a girl 's eyes with purple reflections
ALT: a close up of a girl 's eyes with purple reflections
media.tenor.com
February 5, 2026 at 11:37 AM
Nekomata Okayu
Sipping on that shit that made Winnie the Pooh
February 4, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Sipping on that shit that made Winnie the Pooh
We out here charlin kirks and poppin percs
February 4, 2026 at 9:34 PM
We out here charlin kirks and poppin percs
Reposted by Calum
