𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
@carl.bsky.social
A stupid little idiot with a heart of g̶o̶l̶d̶ worms! Physical manifestation of swamp gas! Top UFO expert! Toxic positivity! Rancid vibes! Uncomfortably weird! Possibly Canadian? Drawing silly little pictures!
🛸 https://mastodon.social/@cvo
🛸 https://mastodon.social/@cvo
Pinned
Hi everyone. I'm not dead, so sorry if I scared anyone with my sudden ghosting. My mental health is shit right now and the internet doesn't need to archive my paranoid withdrawal/lashing out at society. Also Bluesky sucks lately and I'm tired of the stupid fighting lol.
February 16, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Hi everyone. I'm not dead, so sorry if I scared anyone with my sudden ghosting. My mental health is shit right now and the internet doesn't need to archive my paranoid withdrawal/lashing out at society. Also Bluesky sucks lately and I'm tired of the stupid fighting lol.
I'm only booksmart in the streets
January 20, 2026 at 9:43 PM
I'm only booksmart in the streets
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
FYI folks, we have a decent chance of aurora tonight (Jan 19 to early hours of Jan 20) in the continental USA! There's a giant geomagnetic storm and I've linked the latest aurora forecast from the NOAA- they note if current conditions continue, the aurora oval may extend into northern Cali. 🔭🧪🎢
January 19, 2026 at 10:02 PM
FYI folks, we have a decent chance of aurora tonight (Jan 19 to early hours of Jan 20) in the continental USA! There's a giant geomagnetic storm and I've linked the latest aurora forecast from the NOAA- they note if current conditions continue, the aurora oval may extend into northern Cali. 🔭🧪🎢
Mad Max names are so funny like here's my new baby! I've named him Scrotus - after me mum.
January 19, 2026 at 8:07 AM
Mad Max names are so funny like here's my new baby! I've named him Scrotus - after me mum.
Lmao a cop called me back to give me the deets? I didn't think that was a thing?
I bet they were just relieved that it was me calling them for an actual reason and not because Dollarama was rude about me bringing my chemtrail literature into the store and dispersing it in strategic places.
I bet they were just relieved that it was me calling them for an actual reason and not because Dollarama was rude about me bringing my chemtrail literature into the store and dispersing it in strategic places.
January 19, 2026 at 5:07 AM
Lmao a cop called me back to give me the deets? I didn't think that was a thing?
I bet they were just relieved that it was me calling them for an actual reason and not because Dollarama was rude about me bringing my chemtrail literature into the store and dispersing it in strategic places.
I bet they were just relieved that it was me calling them for an actual reason and not because Dollarama was rude about me bringing my chemtrail literature into the store and dispersing it in strategic places.
Reading the leaked documents from the bank of England about how they'll go about handling the whole aliens being confirmed as real thing and it's so good! They're gonna get Mr. Bean guys and, oh man... Amazing!
January 19, 2026 at 4:47 AM
Reading the leaked documents from the bank of England about how they'll go about handling the whole aliens being confirmed as real thing and it's so good! They're gonna get Mr. Bean guys and, oh man... Amazing!
Anyway, back to my raisin bran.
January 19, 2026 at 4:27 AM
Anyway, back to my raisin bran.
Dude calling 911 when you're stoned sucks
January 19, 2026 at 4:16 AM
Dude calling 911 when you're stoned sucks
Switching Greenland's flags with Canadian ones to gaslight Trump into thinking it was never a real country.
January 15, 2026 at 12:23 AM
Switching Greenland's flags with Canadian ones to gaslight Trump into thinking it was never a real country.
If a UFO touched down in front of you and a grey alien quickly scrambled out to hand you a sticky piece of onion, would you eat it?
January 14, 2026 at 10:36 PM
If a UFO touched down in front of you and a grey alien quickly scrambled out to hand you a sticky piece of onion, would you eat it?
Thinking that I can probably solve most if not all of America's problems through mandatory community jazzercise classes. No left vs right here, buddy. Just razzle vs dazzle and pony legs.
January 12, 2026 at 10:22 PM
Thinking that I can probably solve most if not all of America's problems through mandatory community jazzercise classes. No left vs right here, buddy. Just razzle vs dazzle and pony legs.
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
chickens being abducted
January 12, 2026 at 6:45 PM
chickens being abducted
I'm super high and watching Filipino children make live spiders fight on a wooden spoon
January 11, 2026 at 5:37 AM
I'm super high and watching Filipino children make live spiders fight on a wooden spoon
They put MRSA up on the space station and now it's fucken sentient
January 10, 2026 at 8:44 PM
They put MRSA up on the space station and now it's fucken sentient
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
in the past if a chair didn’t have four legs like a beast no one would know what to do with it
January 10, 2026 at 6:17 PM
in the past if a chair didn’t have four legs like a beast no one would know what to do with it
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
when babies are old enough to sit up on a blanket sometimes people will put another baby there and say they're friends. this is disrespectful
January 10, 2026 at 6:29 PM
when babies are old enough to sit up on a blanket sometimes people will put another baby there and say they're friends. this is disrespectful
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
Anyways, my ride is here
January 10, 2026 at 4:15 PM
Anyways, my ride is here
Me as a young man: I actually don't care much for cats
Me, suddenly at age 20: Oh look! TOXOPLASMOSIS GONDII
Me, suddenly at age 20: Oh look! TOXOPLASMOSIS GONDII
January 9, 2026 at 11:01 PM
Me as a young man: I actually don't care much for cats
Me, suddenly at age 20: Oh look! TOXOPLASMOSIS GONDII
Me, suddenly at age 20: Oh look! TOXOPLASMOSIS GONDII
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
Great. Now I’ll never get to sleep.
January 9, 2026 at 7:00 AM
Great. Now I’ll never get to sleep.
Boo to weed making me paranoid lately and my general state of mind being the bad kind of weird! Trying to multivitamin and fresh air my way outta this worm hole! I think there's microscopic speakers in my new smoke alarms that were put there by the Canadian Tire assistant manager Kevin.
January 9, 2026 at 2:48 AM
Boo to weed making me paranoid lately and my general state of mind being the bad kind of weird! Trying to multivitamin and fresh air my way outta this worm hole! I think there's microscopic speakers in my new smoke alarms that were put there by the Canadian Tire assistant manager Kevin.
Baba vanga bus? It's coming.
January 9, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Baba vanga bus? It's coming.
I'm having the worst fatigue I've had in YEARS and it SUCKS
January 7, 2026 at 10:31 PM
I'm having the worst fatigue I've had in YEARS and it SUCKS
Dear Walmart,
You put in many self checkouts but only turn on 4 and I'd like to buy butt medicine without my catty ex-coworker having to scan it at her til and know my anal secrets!
You put in many self checkouts but only turn on 4 and I'd like to buy butt medicine without my catty ex-coworker having to scan it at her til and know my anal secrets!
January 7, 2026 at 10:13 PM
Dear Walmart,
You put in many self checkouts but only turn on 4 and I'd like to buy butt medicine without my catty ex-coworker having to scan it at her til and know my anal secrets!
You put in many self checkouts but only turn on 4 and I'd like to buy butt medicine without my catty ex-coworker having to scan it at her til and know my anal secrets!
Reposted by 𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
We Tested 14 Different Brands Of Snow Shovels. We Won't Tell You What We Found. We Alone Hold This Knowledge
January 7, 2026 at 5:03 AM
We Tested 14 Different Brands Of Snow Shovels. We Won't Tell You What We Found. We Alone Hold This Knowledge
As a civilian who is very familiar with the ins and outs of law enforcement, saying that dude was acting out of self defense is fucking bonkers. He did literally EVERYTHING wrong in that particular scenario. Christ.
January 7, 2026 at 9:43 PM
As a civilian who is very familiar with the ins and outs of law enforcement, saying that dude was acting out of self defense is fucking bonkers. He did literally EVERYTHING wrong in that particular scenario. Christ.