House of 1000 Fionas
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cogentanalysis.bsky.social
House of 1000 Fionas
@cogentanalysis.bsky.social
4.3K followers 230 following 220 posts
oh god, it's come to this
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"EAR MUFFS WHEN IT'S 55°? HO HO, I WISH YOU LUCK ON MAKING IT TO SPRING," I boom as my shorts-clad body emerges, steaming, from the Rite Aid
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just moved to a desolate and forbidding moor and honestly it’s really chill. I’d love to see this ever-present fog try to envelop me in madness
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"EAR MUFFS WHEN IT'S 55°? HO HO, I WISH YOU LUCK ON MAKING IT TO SPRING," I boom as my shorts-clad body emerges, steaming, from the Rite Aid
Reposted by House of 1000 Fionas
A fulfilling career is nice but the real dream is saying something profound before using your ultimate attack.
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"Tracy you can't fly anymore, remember?"
*cut to Tracy stood in a plane brandishing a box cutter. his expression is tense and angry but he is saying "If you do not all calm down I cannot teach you about knife safety" in Arabic*
As I approach 40, I can't help but think about all the things I'll probably never get to accomplish in life. Like having a short story published, or learning how to fry scream 😔
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be the funny co-worker
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I can see the N¥T building from my cubicle, and it's very hard not to put sticky notes on the window spelling out a big "you suck so bad"
I work at the plate-spinning plant. I work at the torture factory. I work at the combination plate-spinning plant and torture factory.
Another day, another (screams forever)
Sumo:
Two men enter.
One man leaves.
That man loses.
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Hey a thing I really don’t want to get lost here is that while Tylenol doesn’t cause autism, IT’S FINE TO BE AUTISTIC. Let’s not grant them the premise that autism should be eradicated in our way to correct the science, okay? Okay.
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neera tanden: we need to expand the tent by killing people, who will cause it to swell with corpse gas
I usually skip the shower anyway if I'm being honest
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(existential Borat) my life
Cry in the shower, scream in the car 😎
Last night I had a dream that my old roommate and I were visiting some wealthy people we went to college with, in the dream they were living in Belgium or some shit, and they were carefree and enjoying being alive, and I did a lot of furious screaming into a pillow about it

Lol what could that mean
Wearing my emotional support Judas Priest tee shirt