Dave Holmes
@daveholmes.bsky.social
Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Here’s a funky introduction of how nice I am.
Hey thank you!
If you need a break from *gestures vaguely at everything* I highly recommend @daveholmes.bsky.social's podcast "Who Killed The Video Star" about the rise and fall of MTV. A very cool trip down memory lane capped off by an A+ final episode.
January 22, 2026 at 9:14 PM
Hey thank you!
Today 1/22, 5pm eastern, 2pm pacific: I’m going LIVE on my IG with the indestructible MATT PINFIELD to talk all things ‘90s Cruise. Join us! www.instagram.com/daveholmes
January 22, 2026 at 8:56 PM
Today 1/22, 5pm eastern, 2pm pacific: I’m going LIVE on my IG with the indestructible MATT PINFIELD to talk all things ‘90s Cruise. Join us! www.instagram.com/daveholmes
You do sometimes get the sense that on some level he knows the world is going to turn into a Lionel Richie video the moment he dies.
January 21, 2026 at 9:07 PM
You do sometimes get the sense that on some level he knows the world is going to turn into a Lionel Richie video the moment he dies.
Clear and splendid thoughts from the president of the United States. (And a wonderful bonus from the Fox News chyron.)
January 20, 2026 at 7:54 PM
Clear and splendid thoughts from the president of the United States. (And a wonderful bonus from the Fox News chyron.)
If a guy in a nursing home were going on like this, his kids would be getting a call from the staff recommending a more advanced level of care.
January 20, 2026 at 7:44 PM
If a guy in a nursing home were going on like this, his kids would be getting a call from the staff recommending a more advanced level of care.
Powerful stuff.
Trump: "An unbelievably nice woman also did a very incredible thing, as you know, a few days ago. Uhh. We're talking to her and maybe we can get involved in some way. I'd love to be able to do that. Maria."
January 20, 2026 at 6:59 PM
Powerful stuff.
This is real. What’s the point of being evil and in charge if you are ALSO THIS CORNY
January 18, 2026 at 12:55 AM
This is real. What’s the point of being evil and in charge if you are ALSO THIS CORNY
Imagine thinking “this is an act of violence”instead of “our boys got outwitted by buckets of water and should go home.”
DHS spokesperson Tricia McLaughlin on "acts of violence" against ICE agents in Minnesota: "Pouring water on the ground so that it would freeze the ground in front of our federal law enforcement vehicles so that they would potentially slide, crash, and potentially kill them"
January 16, 2026 at 2:35 AM
Imagine thinking “this is an act of violence”instead of “our boys got outwitted by buckets of water and should go home.”
Takes a special kind of person to remove the allure of both bisexuality and MDMA.
Crypto lobbyist and former senator Kyrsten Sinema has been sued for having affair with her ex-bodyguard. She also allegedly encouraged him to take the psychedelic drug MDMA on a Senate work trip so she could guide him through it.
Kyrsten Sinema Accused of Having Affair With Ex-Bodyguard
Crypto lobbyist and former senator Kyrsten Sinema has been sued for having affair with her ex-bodyguard. She also allegedly encouraged him to take the psychedelic drug MDMA on a Senate work trip so she could guide him through it.
nymag.com
January 15, 2026 at 9:39 PM
Takes a special kind of person to remove the allure of both bisexuality and MDMA.
Please pray that this brave American warrior never encounters a moderately aggressive elevator door.
January 14, 2026 at 6:27 PM
Please pray that this brave American warrior never encounters a moderately aggressive elevator door.
The Golden Globes backstage announcing…I can only assume Bari Weiss is behind it.
January 12, 2026 at 2:37 AM
The Golden Globes backstage announcing…I can only assume Bari Weiss is behind it.
Snuffy Smith movie when
January 12, 2026 at 1:09 AM
Snuffy Smith movie when
Wrote a full paragraph of extremely sick Jesse Watters burns for this. My wise editor said, “I love these, but is he worth the space?” He is not. Fuck him. Fuck all these losers.
“This is Fox News in the second Trump administration, so forcing you to believe the opposite of what is clear and obvious was actually its second-to-last, almost-most-essential command.
“Its final, most essential command was to get you to sneer at a murder victim.” - @daveholmes.bsky.social
“Its final, most essential command was to get you to sneer at a murder victim.” - @daveholmes.bsky.social
The Right Is Sneering at Renee Good. What Is Broken in Their Souls?
A mother of three is dead, but the president, vice president, Fox News hosts, and others are hell-bent on dehumanizing her.
www.esquire.com
January 9, 2026 at 11:50 PM
Wrote a full paragraph of extremely sick Jesse Watters burns for this. My wise editor said, “I love these, but is he worth the space?” He is not. Fuck him. Fuck all these losers.
Some thoughts (and a HILARIOUS dogshit AI MTV tribute video) www.esquire.com/entertainmen...
MTV Is Still Alive. So Why Does Everyone Think It Shut Down Last Week?
Our ability to tell fact from fiction—even when the facts are right in front of you—is nearly gone. This is not going to end well.
www.esquire.com
January 5, 2026 at 8:26 PM
Some thoughts (and a HILARIOUS dogshit AI MTV tribute video) www.esquire.com/entertainmen...
Reposted by Dave Holmes
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
January 3, 2026 at 10:57 PM
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier
“It has to be [absolute mangling of the word ‘judicious’], because that’s what we’re about” is a little on the nose.
January 3, 2026 at 7:46 PM
“It has to be [absolute mangling of the word ‘judicious’], because that’s what we’re about” is a little on the nose.
So…Maduro was a brutal narcoterrorist who needed to be brought to justice, but also “he could have been living somewhere else right now, very happy?”
January 3, 2026 at 5:20 PM
So…Maduro was a brutal narcoterrorist who needed to be brought to justice, but also “he could have been living somewhere else right now, very happy?”
As a resident of Los Angeles: NOPE
Trump: "We saved Los Angeles early on, where the head of the police department made a statement that if the federal govt didn't come in, we would've lost Los Angeles. That's after the fires. That's when they had the riots. We did a great job. Got no credit for it whatsoever. It doesn't matter."
January 3, 2026 at 4:59 PM
As a resident of Los Angeles: NOPE
President Mucinex Dad up here talking about people are going to restaurants again, it’s cool, it’s great, thanks everyone
January 3, 2026 at 4:52 PM
President Mucinex Dad up here talking about people are going to restaurants again, it’s cool, it’s great, thanks everyone
It is objectively perfect that people are posting about MTV going off the air forever last night instead of turning on the television and noticing that it did not.
January 1, 2026 at 7:44 PM
It is objectively perfect that people are posting about MTV going off the air forever last night instead of turning on the television and noticing that it did not.
Third Proclaimer lookin ass
December 31, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Third Proclaimer lookin ass
Reposted by Dave Holmes
big tech 20 years ago: we invented a phone that also has full-color internet
big tech today: we invented a program that will tell you that you're brave enough to kill yourself but doesn't know how many fingers and toes you have, it now runs your dishwasher
big tech today: we invented a program that will tell you that you're brave enough to kill yourself but doesn't know how many fingers and toes you have, it now runs your dishwasher
December 30, 2025 at 8:48 PM
big tech 20 years ago: we invented a phone that also has full-color internet
big tech today: we invented a program that will tell you that you're brave enough to kill yourself but doesn't know how many fingers and toes you have, it now runs your dishwasher
big tech today: we invented a program that will tell you that you're brave enough to kill yourself but doesn't know how many fingers and toes you have, it now runs your dishwasher
If people do not regularly go to the theater, they forget how to do it and before long they are like “theator: is toilet?” and then when they see a theater they use it as a toilet due to that confusion and I would like to hear more discussion about this because of my high intelligence levels
December 30, 2025 at 7:53 PM
If people do not regularly go to the theater, they forget how to do it and before long they are like “theator: is toilet?” and then when they see a theater they use it as a toilet due to that confusion and I would like to hear more discussion about this because of my high intelligence levels
Marriage
Travel
Homosex
Travel
Homosex
The first 3 words you see will define your 2026.
MONEY
TRAVELS
PIZZA
sounds good to me.
MONEY
TRAVELS
PIZZA
sounds good to me.
December 28, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Marriage
Travel
Homosex
Travel
Homosex