Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
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fartsjohnson.bsky.social
Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
@fartsjohnson.bsky.social
They/He
My real name is Trevor
Disabled/Chronic Illness
I'm 39
Twin Peaks/Cheers/Star Trek
Pink Floyd/Prince/The Cure
TRON/Evil Dead/Ghostbusters
Dogs/Cats

Fix Your Hearts or Die

For some reason, @solongandgoodnite.bsky.social thinks I'm hot! 💚💚
Pinned
bunch of rednecks sitting around a bonfire on a very clearly cold night. the one sitting on the back steps, he spits and says "Dracula, huh?"

everyone nods and mumbles in agreement

the dude still sitting in his truck says, "We gotta go get that mother fucker"

in this seven-film pitch, I will
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Earth shattering news
February 3, 2026 at 3:19 PM
oh SHIT

LUNATICS: A LOVE STORY is on Tubi now. Y'all check that out. It's a super weird romantic comedy thing starring Ted Raimi. I think it's the only thing he's ever been in where he's the straight-up Main Character.
February 3, 2026 at 3:00 PM
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Fuck you & the Earth you rode in on!
February 3, 2026 at 2:47 PM
I do this every day.
February 3, 2026 at 2:47 PM
The cats just burst into the library, yowled at me for a minute, and when I tried to pet one of them, ran back out into the front hall and knocked over a globe.

Cat Fun.
February 3, 2026 at 2:40 PM
11 pills and 1.5 liters of iced black coffee.

Breakfast of Champions
February 3, 2026 at 2:22 PM
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My pronouns are She/They like that car Christine. Definitely a girl but also definitely a killing machine.
February 3, 2026 at 2:51 AM
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ummm... so THAT just happened....
February 3, 2026 at 12:43 PM
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Got fired from my job as a vet because I told a lady I was ‘hoptimistic’ about her rabbit walking again lol and also because I’m not a qualified vet.
February 3, 2026 at 11:33 AM
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A congratulations and sincere thanks to the team who worked long hours over Christmas to bring our vision of making Sam Neill look like utter dogshit to life. #SuperBowl #JurassicPark #WhenTheEdibleHits #BotoxNightWithTheWestTasmaniaPussyPosse
February 3, 2026 at 5:22 AM
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"Farts, this is your cousin!"
February 3, 2026 at 3:06 AM
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a single huge ravioli
March 7, 2025 at 5:34 PM
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February 2, 2026 at 5:51 PM
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Reminder:
Always check doesthedogdie.com for your trigger warnings.
DoesTheDogDie.com
Crowdsourced trigger warnings spoilers for movies, tv, books and more.
doesthedogdie.com
February 3, 2026 at 3:02 AM
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I'm Farts Johnson.
February 2, 2026 at 10:54 PM
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*stands* I am also Farts Johnson!
February 3, 2026 at 2:49 AM
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Wanna feel old? The Smashing Pumpkins song “1995” was released on this day in 1979.
February 3, 2026 at 2:01 AM
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As someone who literally named herself after Janeway, what in the actual fuck?

Did they even WATCH the show? How do you miss the entire point of equality?
This dumb fucker tried arguing that over the course of its run, more men have watched star trek than women and its catered to men specifically. Im going to scream.
February 3, 2026 at 1:13 AM
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omg he wink
February 2, 2026 at 11:46 PM
Hell yeah, I enjoyed "Reaper" a lot.
February 3, 2026 at 1:03 AM