Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
@fartsjohnson.bsky.social
They/He
My real name is Trevor
Disabled/Chronic Illness
I'm 39
Twin Peaks/Cheers/Star Trek
Pink Floyd/Prince/The Cure
TRON/Evil Dead/Ghostbusters
Dogs/Cats
Fix Your Hearts or Die!
For some reason, @solongandgoodnite.bsky.social thinks I'm hot! 💚💚
My real name is Trevor
Disabled/Chronic Illness
I'm 39
Twin Peaks/Cheers/Star Trek
Pink Floyd/Prince/The Cure
TRON/Evil Dead/Ghostbusters
Dogs/Cats
Fix Your Hearts or Die!
For some reason, @solongandgoodnite.bsky.social thinks I'm hot! 💚💚
Pinned
bunch of rednecks sitting around a bonfire on a very clearly cold night. the one sitting on the back steps, he spits and says "Dracula, huh?"
everyone nods and mumbles in agreement
the dude still sitting in his truck says, "We gotta go get that mother fucker"
in this seven-film pitch, I will
everyone nods and mumbles in agreement
the dude still sitting in his truck says, "We gotta go get that mother fucker"
in this seven-film pitch, I will
Listen:
If Someone wants to buy the Farts Johnson Mythos from me, I'm open to negotiations, starting at roughly 1.5 million dollars.
This does not include the Bluesky account, which will belong to me and my family in perpetuity.
If Someone wants to buy the Farts Johnson Mythos from me, I'm open to negotiations, starting at roughly 1.5 million dollars.
This does not include the Bluesky account, which will belong to me and my family in perpetuity.
February 7, 2026 at 4:05 AM
Listen:
If Someone wants to buy the Farts Johnson Mythos from me, I'm open to negotiations, starting at roughly 1.5 million dollars.
This does not include the Bluesky account, which will belong to me and my family in perpetuity.
If Someone wants to buy the Farts Johnson Mythos from me, I'm open to negotiations, starting at roughly 1.5 million dollars.
This does not include the Bluesky account, which will belong to me and my family in perpetuity.
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
me n the boys
February 7, 2026 at 4:01 AM
me n the boys
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
Rancid Steve, we hardly knew ye
February 7, 2026 at 3:58 AM
Rancid Steve, we hardly knew ye
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
Every movie review confused as hell about why they call the cat Zamboni
February 7, 2026 at 3:55 AM
Every movie review confused as hell about why they call the cat Zamboni
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
Doesn’t matter. Nothing will top that punchline, nor live up to it.
February 7, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Doesn’t matter. Nothing will top that punchline, nor live up to it.
Yeah, hey, it's me, Farts Johnson. I know we have a lot of laughs here, on The Bluesky, but I'm here tonight to lead a roundtable discussion about something serious:
Did Woody Harrelson's Dad kill JFK?
Did Woody Harrelson's Dad kill JFK?
February 7, 2026 at 3:38 AM
Yeah, hey, it's me, Farts Johnson. I know we have a lot of laughs here, on The Bluesky, but I'm here tonight to lead a roundtable discussion about something serious:
Did Woody Harrelson's Dad kill JFK?
Did Woody Harrelson's Dad kill JFK?
tidal.com/track/383058...
"Then she came, looking for someone, looking for me
I've got someone, someone to be around
I let her know, it's me baby
She loved me sweet, I let it be
Not giving it over
She's taken nothing from me
Just given
She came with me"
"Then she came, looking for someone, looking for me
I've got someone, someone to be around
I let her know, it's me baby
She loved me sweet, I let it be
Not giving it over
She's taken nothing from me
Just given
She came with me"
David Lynch - She Rise Up
Listen to She Rise Up on TIDAL
tidal.com
February 7, 2026 at 3:34 AM
tidal.com/track/383058...
"Then she came, looking for someone, looking for me
I've got someone, someone to be around
I let her know, it's me baby
She loved me sweet, I let it be
Not giving it over
She's taken nothing from me
Just given
She came with me"
"Then she came, looking for someone, looking for me
I've got someone, someone to be around
I let her know, it's me baby
She loved me sweet, I let it be
Not giving it over
She's taken nothing from me
Just given
She came with me"
One time I got very stoned and spent straight 3 hours pitching an episode of "Frasier" to my then-girlfriend. All I can remember from it is Frasier shouting "Escargot? This is more akin to ESCARGOT HOME" indignantly
Wish I was still on speaking terms with her, I'd love to know the rest of the pitch
Wish I was still on speaking terms with her, I'd love to know the rest of the pitch
February 7, 2026 at 3:30 AM
One time I got very stoned and spent straight 3 hours pitching an episode of "Frasier" to my then-girlfriend. All I can remember from it is Frasier shouting "Escargot? This is more akin to ESCARGOT HOME" indignantly
Wish I was still on speaking terms with her, I'd love to know the rest of the pitch
Wish I was still on speaking terms with her, I'd love to know the rest of the pitch
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
There he is.
There's my Big Boy.
There's my Big Boy.
February 7, 2026 at 3:10 AM
There he is.
There's my Big Boy.
There's my Big Boy.
I guarantee, if they hired me to write the next GARFIELD movie, a lot more burned-out people in their late-30s to mid-50s would be interested in it.
February 7, 2026 at 3:09 AM
I guarantee, if they hired me to write the next GARFIELD movie, a lot more burned-out people in their late-30s to mid-50s would be interested in it.
Listen, it hit me the other day, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are Granddad Rock now, and I'm the Uncle who's still really into them in 2026.
I'm the Coolest Mother Fucker Alive. You don't have to tell me.
I'm the Coolest Mother Fucker Alive. You don't have to tell me.
February 7, 2026 at 2:58 AM
Listen, it hit me the other day, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd are Granddad Rock now, and I'm the Uncle who's still really into them in 2026.
I'm the Coolest Mother Fucker Alive. You don't have to tell me.
I'm the Coolest Mother Fucker Alive. You don't have to tell me.
Reposted by Farts "sʇɹɐℲ" Johnson
Jeff Goldblum nailed this role in the movie.
February 7, 2026 at 2:52 AM
Jeff Goldblum nailed this role in the movie.
Oh My God, No
February 7, 2026 at 2:50 AM
Oh My God, No
I've been thinking about this a lot, and I have to say, best case scenario?
Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo.
Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo.
February 7, 2026 at 2:48 AM
I've been thinking about this a lot, and I have to say, best case scenario?
Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo.
Kevin Murphy as Tom Servo.
