david alexander
@davidalexander.bsky.social
if it ever seems like i am trying too hard it is only because i am desperate for attention | part bro on my dad’s side, full bitch from my mom | SF98’s resident niffin and self appointed intern | he/him | chicago | 🇵🇷
for legal purposes, i am a joke
for legal purposes, i am a joke
Pinned
Chapter titles of the memoir i’ll never write as i think of them:
Anxiety grocery shopped and got too many snacks but that’s okay, because when the guy bagging my groceries was like “i love totino’s pizza rolls!” And i was like “me too i havent really had them since college” and he said “what, so 3 years ago?” Like lmaoooooo sir plz
January 1, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Anxiety grocery shopped and got too many snacks but that’s okay, because when the guy bagging my groceries was like “i love totino’s pizza rolls!” And i was like “me too i havent really had them since college” and he said “what, so 3 years ago?” Like lmaoooooo sir plz
How did i give myself a panic attack when i decided to stay home for nye to avoid panic attacks lmao
December 31, 2025 at 9:48 PM
How did i give myself a panic attack when i decided to stay home for nye to avoid panic attacks lmao
I just think that sweaty balls
December 31, 2025 at 2:48 PM
I just think that sweaty balls
Got a ryze ad that said “do not buy ryze coffee” so i said “okay!” And blocked them instead
December 31, 2025 at 12:36 AM
Got a ryze ad that said “do not buy ryze coffee” so i said “okay!” And blocked them instead
Someone got mad at me for pointing out the flaws in their argument after replying to a shitpost i made and then claimed i was bullying them but i had screencapped timeshots of the interactions
What’s the funniest reason someone got mad at you on Bluesky this year?
December 30, 2025 at 10:53 PM
Someone got mad at me for pointing out the flaws in their argument after replying to a shitpost i made and then claimed i was bullying them but i had screencapped timeshots of the interactions
Hear me out: rugrats all grown up™️ for the belcher children so that it can run concurrently with bobs burgers
December 30, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Hear me out: rugrats all grown up™️ for the belcher children so that it can run concurrently with bobs burgers
A consummate professional
December 30, 2025 at 7:10 PM
A consummate professional
The internet got worse when people started posting for follower/subscriber/viewership numbers instead of just documenting their extremely niche hyperfixations
Way too many YouTube reviewers just want to be YouTube famous and don’t actually have interesting viewpoints imo
December 30, 2025 at 3:21 PM
The internet got worse when people started posting for follower/subscriber/viewership numbers instead of just documenting their extremely niche hyperfixations
My favorite part of sending an emotional text message is the 30-76 minute panic attack after
December 29, 2025 at 11:41 PM
My favorite part of sending an emotional text message is the 30-76 minute panic attack after
Once again thinking about how Enzo Matrix lost his innocence and childhood after losing both his home and his hero and literally grew up too fast and then helped raise a version of himself he never got to be
December 29, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Once again thinking about how Enzo Matrix lost his innocence and childhood after losing both his home and his hero and literally grew up too fast and then helped raise a version of himself he never got to be
I know i could screen record these for a more native/less 70 year old printing out a pdf to fax it to someone but this is lazier and literally no one cares i love when things are zero stakes lmao
December 29, 2025 at 7:05 PM
I know i could screen record these for a more native/less 70 year old printing out a pdf to fax it to someone but this is lazier and literally no one cares i love when things are zero stakes lmao
That dead inside froot looks familiar
December 29, 2025 at 4:36 PM
That dead inside froot looks familiar
I have learned where the voice of my inner critic comes from lmao
December 29, 2025 at 4:30 PM
I have learned where the voice of my inner critic comes from lmao
She wants to be on dancing with the stars soooooo bad.
Cool love that you’re admitting you were wrong and naive - that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a deeply evil and hateful person. An apology tour is just a pr move to become the next bumbling talking head with a joe rogan partnership
Cool love that you’re admitting you were wrong and naive - that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a deeply evil and hateful person. An apology tour is just a pr move to become the next bumbling talking head with a joe rogan partnership
“Our side has been trained by Donald Trump to never apologize and to never admit when you’re wrong.” Read the inside story of how Marjorie Taylor Greene went from zealous Trump cheerleader to his loudest Republican critic: nyti.ms/3Lbzi88
December 29, 2025 at 4:05 PM
She wants to be on dancing with the stars soooooo bad.
Cool love that you’re admitting you were wrong and naive - that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a deeply evil and hateful person. An apology tour is just a pr move to become the next bumbling talking head with a joe rogan partnership
Cool love that you’re admitting you were wrong and naive - that doesn’t mean you aren’t still a deeply evil and hateful person. An apology tour is just a pr move to become the next bumbling talking head with a joe rogan partnership
Reposted by david alexander
The New York Times couldn't be bothered to investigate Trump's health or handling of the Epstein files but MGT redemption pieces are full steam ahead.
“Our side has been trained by Donald Trump to never apologize and to never admit when you’re wrong.” Read the inside story of how Marjorie Taylor Greene went from zealous Trump cheerleader to his loudest Republican critic: nyti.ms/3Lbzi88
December 29, 2025 at 3:59 PM
The New York Times couldn't be bothered to investigate Trump's health or handling of the Epstein files but MGT redemption pieces are full steam ahead.
Reposted by david alexander
Gen Z men learning that voting for "I can say the r-word now" is perhaps less important than "I have no savings and I can't get laid."
The most volatile group of voters is turning on Trump
The Gen Z cohort swung hard toward Republicans last year, but they now appear to be just as aggressively swinging away.
www.vox.com/politics/473...
The Gen Z cohort swung hard toward Republicans last year, but they now appear to be just as aggressively swinging away.
www.vox.com/politics/473...
The most volatile group of voters is turning on Trump
There’s a new line dividing young Americans.
www.vox.com
December 29, 2025 at 12:43 PM
Gen Z men learning that voting for "I can say the r-word now" is perhaps less important than "I have no savings and I can't get laid."
Goals for 2026:
-suck more dicks
-be less depressed
-get hotter
-pick up a straight couple at a bar. Cuck the husband
-learn to sew
- become a mommy vlogger
-more bouncing and moaning on it
-get back to my vers roots
-watch madame web at least once a quarter
-learn how to be someone that gyms
-suck more dicks
-be less depressed
-get hotter
-pick up a straight couple at a bar. Cuck the husband
-learn to sew
- become a mommy vlogger
-more bouncing and moaning on it
-get back to my vers roots
-watch madame web at least once a quarter
-learn how to be someone that gyms
December 29, 2025 at 2:36 PM
Goals for 2026:
-suck more dicks
-be less depressed
-get hotter
-pick up a straight couple at a bar. Cuck the husband
-learn to sew
- become a mommy vlogger
-more bouncing and moaning on it
-get back to my vers roots
-watch madame web at least once a quarter
-learn how to be someone that gyms
-suck more dicks
-be less depressed
-get hotter
-pick up a straight couple at a bar. Cuck the husband
-learn to sew
- become a mommy vlogger
-more bouncing and moaning on it
-get back to my vers roots
-watch madame web at least once a quarter
-learn how to be someone that gyms
Reposted by david alexander
I used to manage wine programs for movie theaters and I am in the extremely unique position to say with professional certainty that the answer here is a crisp Albariño.
asking the sommelier which wine pairs best with swedish fish
December 29, 2025 at 4:53 AM
I used to manage wine programs for movie theaters and I am in the extremely unique position to say with professional certainty that the answer here is a crisp Albariño.
Death note is so cool, i wish people facing consequences for their actions was real :/
December 29, 2025 at 4:31 AM
Death note is so cool, i wish people facing consequences for their actions was real :/
Okay i’ll play but only for attention
December 28, 2025 at 8:03 PM
Okay i’ll play but only for attention
Being home alone these past few days means i’ve been able to go something that i havent been able to do in YEARS since i started sharing a bedroom with charlie😈😈😈 i slept with the windows open
December 28, 2025 at 6:38 PM
Being home alone these past few days means i’ve been able to go something that i havent been able to do in YEARS since i started sharing a bedroom with charlie😈😈😈 i slept with the windows open
I think 2026 is the year i wanna start making my own clothes. Ive been looking for a skill or hobby, after all
December 28, 2025 at 5:36 PM
I think 2026 is the year i wanna start making my own clothes. Ive been looking for a skill or hobby, after all
Reposted by david alexander
“it is illegal for you not to like me”
This is the logical and inevitable conclusion of the last decade of elite media "free speech" discourse.
December 28, 2025 at 1:54 AM
“it is illegal for you not to like me”
I’ve been blocking so many advertiser profiles on instagram that now i’m being served ads from facebook accounts that dont have a native insta presence so i can’t block the account lmao
December 28, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I’ve been blocking so many advertiser profiles on instagram that now i’m being served ads from facebook accounts that dont have a native insta presence so i can’t block the account lmao
I think i managed to trade a used bottle of poppers for a like-new queen sized bed yesterday
December 28, 2025 at 2:16 PM
I think i managed to trade a used bottle of poppers for a like-new queen sized bed yesterday