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Darren Leathley

@dmleathley.bsky.social

400 followers 670 following 5.4K posts

From Yorkshire, in Dublin. Leeds United Bielsa widow. #lufc Films, music, crosswords and other puzzles, #CalendarMaths, swimming, beer, stuff. May contain puns. Professional data wrangler. Won't fit all your concerns in a CHAR(300). Not an owl.

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 17m

Catherine Connolly smelt it, but vehemently denies having dealt it. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 20m

Nine hours I've been at this!

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 21m

Catherine Connolly's medicine cabinet is comprised solely of bottles of flat 7-Up. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 22m

Catherine Connolly always claps when the plane lands. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

I've just been on York City's website and the button to close the cookie message reads "Okey Doke".

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

York City are magic! (as per @herring1967.bsky.social)

Reposted by Darren Leathley

Pete Fraser @petefrasermusic.bsky.social · 1h

A Nobel story just popped up on one of my memories feed things. Still makes me laugh.

"They're like, 'Sir, there's something in your bag.'
I said, 'Yes, I think it's this box.' They said, 'What's in the box?' I said, 'a large gold medal, as one does.
So they opened it up and they said, 'What's it made out of?' I said, 'gold.'
And they're like, 'Uhhhh. Who gave this to you?'
"The King of Sweden.'
"Why did he give this to you?'
Because I helped discover the expansion rate of the universe was accelerating.'

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

Absolutely will be. HMP Wakefield is essentially the place for holding them. (That I discovered after often stumbling past the place on Westgate Runs in my salad days.)

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

German homophone gags? You're the Wurst.

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

It's only on days like today that Michael Howard was right, and in a very specific way - prison works.

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

How many UNITs?

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 1h

Steven Spielberg - cameo in The Blues Brothers (a desk clerk somewhere?), directed The Post

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 2h

Catherine Connolly told Garth Brooks that five nights in Croker would sail through licensing. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Reposted by Darren Leathley

registered hyperclam 2 🏳️‍🌈 @mootzilla.bsky.social · 3h

oops! he's a racist

english.elpais.com/culture/2025...

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 2h

Catherine Connolly:
• did do 'that'
• did not do 'that' for love
• would do 'that' again
• thinks Meat Loaf 'lost the run of himself and should have simply got over it'
#SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Reposted by Darren Leathley

Michael Spicer @michaelspicer.bsky.social · 9h

stop thinking right now

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 3h

SWIM REPORT
64 lengths / 1.6km / 0.99 miles
50 of ease, 14 of chaos
Got out at 50, thinking child 2 wanted to, but didn't, so finished my swim dodging everyone in the side of the pool left for leisure

Me in front of some random window on Tara Street

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 4h

Catherine Connolly's favourite Star Wars character is Jar-Jar Binks. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 4h

Ah, that explains the stickers in the city centre.

Reposted by Darren Leathley

Gabby HC, but a ghost, hiding in a corner @scriblit.bsky.social · 4h

This is just to say

I have eaten
3kg
Of cola bottles

Which was
Medically
Ill advised
And bunged me up
Completely
With gelatin

Forgive me
I had a hankering
And also
Ate a carvery

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Reposted by Darren Leathley

AAAAH-riadne Griffin @ariadnereviews.bsky.social · 5h

"He even went for a carvery on the third day, before finishing the bag for dessert.

The next day - Monday - the HGV driver was sweating profusely and "did not feel right", but put it down to the pork he ate."

I love him, just the most diabolical himbo energy.

Dan Douglas @dandouglas.bsky.social · 5h

every line of this story keeps getting better

Barnsley man in hospital after three-day cola bottles binge

Nathan Rimmington ate his way through 3kg of sweets - and doctors were shocked he survived.

www.bbc.co.uk

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 5h

"So what did you do with your Saturday?"
"Made up shite on social media."
"So same as always?"

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 5h

Catherine Connolly drank your milkshake. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 5h

Catherine Connolly doesn't know which is Zig and which is Zag. #SmearTheBejaysus #SmearTheBejaysis

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Darren Leathley @dmleathley.bsky.social · 5h

Ah, bollocks. Missing an 'in'!