Max Shitto
@drmax.bsky.social
friend of cats. star wars enjoyer. wife guy.
Reposted by Max Shitto
“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his ass along the White House carpet during a press conference.
RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet
WASHINGTON—In an address touting the practice as a completely drug-free method to relieve the common affliction, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. demonstrated Thursday how ...
theonion.com
January 31, 2026 at 1:30 AM
“Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is the natural power of friction,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said as he dropped to the floor, lifted his legs high, and dragged his ass along the White House carpet during a press conference.
Reposted by Max Shitto
A thread of ICE and CBP sex offenders and credibly accused sex pasts. Content-warning descriptions of abuse
Yuma Sector CBP agent Ramon Marquez, 31, was arrested in May 2025 and has been charged with 15 felonies including 14 counts of sexual conduct with a 16-year-old between Dec 2024 and Apr 2025.
Yuma Sector CBP agent Ramon Marquez, 31, was arrested in May 2025 and has been charged with 15 felonies including 14 counts of sexual conduct with a 16-year-old between Dec 2024 and Apr 2025.
January 8, 2026 at 1:36 AM
A thread of ICE and CBP sex offenders and credibly accused sex pasts. Content-warning descriptions of abuse
Yuma Sector CBP agent Ramon Marquez, 31, was arrested in May 2025 and has been charged with 15 felonies including 14 counts of sexual conduct with a 16-year-old between Dec 2024 and Apr 2025.
Yuma Sector CBP agent Ramon Marquez, 31, was arrested in May 2025 and has been charged with 15 felonies including 14 counts of sexual conduct with a 16-year-old between Dec 2024 and Apr 2025.
excellent weather driving into work this morning lmao (michigan)
January 27, 2026 at 4:22 PM
excellent weather driving into work this morning lmao (michigan)
I got like 3 different AI slop-art presents from family this year.
January 17, 2026 at 6:23 PM
I got like 3 different AI slop-art presents from family this year.
“I stand for the thin blue line” ass hair
January 15, 2026 at 2:14 PM
“I stand for the thin blue line” ass hair
Reposted by Max Shitto
i don't want the unpopular geriatric rapist criminal president to start world war 3
January 14, 2026 at 8:54 PM
i don't want the unpopular geriatric rapist criminal president to start world war 3
Reposted by Max Shitto
Seen some TJ Sebulba stuff about the guy who yelled at Trump and you can’t forget the TJ part of it I’m sorry
January 14, 2026 at 4:11 AM
Seen some TJ Sebulba stuff about the guy who yelled at Trump and you can’t forget the TJ part of it I’m sorry
Reposted by Max Shitto
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
January 12, 2026 at 8:04 PM
semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out
Reposted by Max Shitto
Unsurprisingly a random protester has much better framing than nearly all politicians. And handles the bad faith questions easily
Hannity has a Fox reporter in Minneapolis talk to a random protester walking through the city who goes on to spit bars for 2 minutes
January 10, 2026 at 3:27 AM
Unsurprisingly a random protester has much better framing than nearly all politicians. And handles the bad faith questions easily
Reposted by Max Shitto
this probably felt so good for watto
January 10, 2026 at 12:54 AM
this probably felt so good for watto
I don’t think that our bodies were meant to be this chronically angry and stressed
January 8, 2026 at 3:29 PM
I don’t think that our bodies were meant to be this chronically angry and stressed
Reposted by Max Shitto
Here is the fundraiser for Renee Good’s wife and son, from a very trusted source.
Donate to Support for Renee Good’s wife and son, organized by Mattie Weiss
Please support the wife and son of Renee Good as they grapple with the devastating … Mattie Weiss needs your support for Support for Renee Good’s wife and son
www.gofundme.com
January 8, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Here is the fundraiser for Renee Good’s wife and son, from a very trusted source.
I need bad things to happen to bad people.
January 8, 2026 at 1:20 AM
I need bad things to happen to bad people.
The world sucks but I made a gallon of homemade limoncello to gift for the holidays 🍋
January 6, 2026 at 3:31 PM
The world sucks but I made a gallon of homemade limoncello to gift for the holidays 🍋
Reposted by Max Shitto
This is not a paid advertisement. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com to receive the newspaper and see more print-exclusive content.
January 3, 2026 at 8:46 PM
This is not a paid advertisement. Subscribe at membership.theonion.com to receive the newspaper and see more print-exclusive content.
Reposted by Max Shitto
Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state
January 3, 2026 at 9:00 PM
Days after his third dementia screening in six months the president of the United States, who is an open pedophile, abducts a foreign head of state
Reposted by Max Shitto
all these fucking psychotic freaks.
January 3, 2026 at 4:57 PM
all these fucking psychotic freaks.
2075: *in a dementia unit from microplastics accumulation in my brain*
weeee are Charlieeee Kirk, we caaaaarry the flaaaaame 🗣️✊🏻🎶
[nurse pushing a lethal dose of fentanyl] ok peepaw let’s get your racist ass to hell
weeee are Charlieeee Kirk, we caaaaarry the flaaaaame 🗣️✊🏻🎶
[nurse pushing a lethal dose of fentanyl] ok peepaw let’s get your racist ass to hell
January 2, 2026 at 2:16 PM
2075: *in a dementia unit from microplastics accumulation in my brain*
weeee are Charlieeee Kirk, we caaaaarry the flaaaaame 🗣️✊🏻🎶
[nurse pushing a lethal dose of fentanyl] ok peepaw let’s get your racist ass to hell
weeee are Charlieeee Kirk, we caaaaarry the flaaaaame 🗣️✊🏻🎶
[nurse pushing a lethal dose of fentanyl] ok peepaw let’s get your racist ass to hell
Reposted by Max Shitto
I’ve never put much stock in saying things like “this year sucked, bring on the next one” but goddamn this year really did suck, bring on the next one
December 31, 2025 at 2:35 PM
I’ve never put much stock in saying things like “this year sucked, bring on the next one” but goddamn this year really did suck, bring on the next one
Data center just announced for my city. Butlerian jihad NOw
December 18, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Data center just announced for my city. Butlerian jihad NOw
We are doing residency interviews and the PD asked what the {seemingly normal} interviewee’s plans are between now and residency and he said he is planning a vacation to Israel 🤮 bro what the fuck
December 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
We are doing residency interviews and the PD asked what the {seemingly normal} interviewee’s plans are between now and residency and he said he is planning a vacation to Israel 🤮 bro what the fuck