Elliott Coates
@elliottcoates.bsky.social
Writer, photographer, musician, hockey enjoyer, traveler (+ fear of flying!); fan of birds, esoteric books, Dada, Toronto sports. Canadian expat in VA. ‘21 SAIC Writing Fellow. “Day 3 of a 5 Day Headache” (2nd ed.): tinyurl.com/day-3-of-a-5-day-headache
Pinned
WERE-ANIMALS BESIDES THE WEREWOLF THAT SHOULD EXIST:
(1) Weresquid
(2) Weretortoise
(3) Werepossum
(4) Weregibbon
(5) Werebeetle
(6) Werehyrax
(7) Werebluefootedbooby
(1) Weresquid
(2) Weretortoise
(3) Werepossum
(4) Weregibbon
(5) Werebeetle
(6) Werehyrax
(7) Werebluefootedbooby
16°F in Richmond, VA, today. This can fuck right off.
December 15, 2025 at 2:23 PM
16°F in Richmond, VA, today. This can fuck right off.
Squirrel monkeys in Central America at our friend Glenda’s chocolate farm. #MonkeyDay
December 14, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Squirrel monkeys in Central America at our friend Glenda’s chocolate farm. #MonkeyDay
Reposted by Elliott Coates
I would like to be adopted, please 🥹
December 11, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I would like to be adopted, please 🥹
First screening of the 2025 Yule season. Best Christmas movie ever, don’t @ me.
#ChristmasCarol #Muppets #Dickens
#ChristmasCarol #Muppets #Dickens
December 11, 2025 at 11:48 PM
First screening of the 2025 Yule season. Best Christmas movie ever, don’t @ me.
#ChristmasCarol #Muppets #Dickens
#ChristmasCarol #Muppets #Dickens
Same energy.
December 11, 2025 at 10:21 AM
Same energy.
If drinking cheap Norwegian beer out of a Fabergé glass is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. If you’re fancy, be fancy.
December 10, 2025 at 3:06 AM
If drinking cheap Norwegian beer out of a Fabergé glass is wrong, I don’t wanna be right. If you’re fancy, be fancy.
December 9, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Reposted by Elliott Coates
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
December 8, 2025 at 3:53 AM
Scientists now believe that the human brain--a magic goo for worrying--can also be used to do other things
This is maybe the best thing anyone has ever written on this or any subject.
i wish neil armstrong had brutally flubbed the moon landing line. that's one small step for moon. one small step ON moon. for a man. one giant man.. 's leap. one GIANT LEAP for moonkind. moon man. one giant moon for manmind. you can hear buzz rollin around in the lander, just howling
December 7, 2025 at 9:15 PM
This is maybe the best thing anyone has ever written on this or any subject.
Cricket is actually pretty great.
December 7, 2025 at 12:40 PM
Cricket is actually pretty great.
My friend from Nottingham bought me a Nottingham Forest shirt, so I guess I’m a Nottingham Forest supporter now. #NottinghamForest #UpTheReds #MullOfKintyre (Am I doing this right?)
December 6, 2025 at 4:23 PM
My friend from Nottingham bought me a Nottingham Forest shirt, so I guess I’m a Nottingham Forest supporter now. #NottinghamForest #UpTheReds #MullOfKintyre (Am I doing this right?)
December 5, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Whose shoes are those?
December 4, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Whose shoes are those?
Reposted by Elliott Coates
Incognito browsing history wrapped 2025
December 4, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Incognito browsing history wrapped 2025
MRI results: suboptimal!
#chronicpain
#chronicpain
December 3, 2025 at 11:57 PM
MRI results: suboptimal!
#chronicpain
#chronicpain
New band photo just dropped.
December 3, 2025 at 5:48 PM
New band photo just dropped.
Reposted by Elliott Coates
normalize saying "excuse me, hot person?" as a way to get someone's attention
May 18, 2025 at 8:55 PM
normalize saying "excuse me, hot person?" as a way to get someone's attention
December 3, 2025 at 3:06 AM
I asked my sweet wife to bring me a “Christmas-flavored beer” from the store, and she picked a spiced Belgian tripel. God bless her.
December 2, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I asked my sweet wife to bring me a “Christmas-flavored beer” from the store, and she picked a spiced Belgian tripel. God bless her.
Hapax legomenon.
What is YOUR Word of the Year for 2025?
December 1, 2025 at 5:59 PM
Hapax legomenon.
December 1, 2025 at 5:43 PM
I’ve found my Scottish grandmother’s shortbread recipe, and I’m going to make “perfecting the perfect shortbread” my entire personality. Already made my first batch. 🏴🇨🇦
December 1, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I’ve found my Scottish grandmother’s shortbread recipe, and I’m going to make “perfecting the perfect shortbread” my entire personality. Already made my first batch. 🏴🇨🇦
November 30, 2025 at 2:45 AM
We used to live next to Graceland. I wrote my thesis there. Don’t look into Eternal Silence’s eyes or you’ll see a vision of your own death. Happy holidays!
Eternal Silence in the snow, this morning at Graceland Cemetery
November 29, 2025 at 9:55 PM
We used to live next to Graceland. I wrote my thesis there. Don’t look into Eternal Silence’s eyes or you’ll see a vision of your own death. Happy holidays!