Oni Onigiri
@emilonigiri.bsky.social
She/her | bi mama to three wondrous chaos gremlins; cat lover; forever taking it one day at a time in the epic everyday
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
If RFKj could cry what would the consistency of the tears be? I bet viscous
November 23, 2025 at 3:44 AM
If RFKj could cry what would the consistency of the tears be? I bet viscous
Oliver says he’s ready for his closeup.
November 8, 2025 at 5:36 AM
Oliver says he’s ready for his closeup.
My daughter, 6, is currently obsessed with @homefreeguys.bsky.social - but more specifically @adambellbastien.bsky.social. To clarify, she’s never heard a man sing in her range, so like a cat choosing a lap she has adopted him as hers. “Is that my Adam singing?” “Quiet, it’s my Adam’s turn to sing!”
November 2, 2025 at 4:06 AM
My daughter, 6, is currently obsessed with @homefreeguys.bsky.social - but more specifically @adambellbastien.bsky.social. To clarify, she’s never heard a man sing in her range, so like a cat choosing a lap she has adopted him as hers. “Is that my Adam singing?” “Quiet, it’s my Adam’s turn to sing!”
@thelongestjohns.bsky.social and @homefreeguys.bsky.social were sensational in Huntsville, AL last night! But I hope iRobbie’s arms can be repaired… 🙌🏻
September 29, 2025 at 5:24 AM
@thelongestjohns.bsky.social and @homefreeguys.bsky.social were sensational in Huntsville, AL last night! But I hope iRobbie’s arms can be repaired… 🙌🏻
That moment when you’re rewatching Stranger Things and suddenly SOMETHING WEIRD AND RED IS MOVING ON THE SCREEN and you think “maybe it’s an Easter egg” but it’s just your tv being old 🙃
I’ll be sane one day 🤷🏻♀️
I’ll be sane one day 🤷🏻♀️
June 3, 2025 at 3:44 AM
That moment when you’re rewatching Stranger Things and suddenly SOMETHING WEIRD AND RED IS MOVING ON THE SCREEN and you think “maybe it’s an Easter egg” but it’s just your tv being old 🙃
I’ll be sane one day 🤷🏻♀️
I’ll be sane one day 🤷🏻♀️
I’m gonna go see @thelongestjohns.bsky.social live in September and AAAHHHH I AM SO STOKED 🙀 but my 6yo will probably never forgive me that she didn’t get to see Robbie in real life… 🙃
May 28, 2025 at 5:47 PM
I’m gonna go see @thelongestjohns.bsky.social live in September and AAAHHHH I AM SO STOKED 🙀 but my 6yo will probably never forgive me that she didn’t get to see Robbie in real life… 🙃
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
Scientists can’t explain it, but somehow every individual member of the Trump administration is THE single worst person to ever walk the earth.
April 17, 2025 at 3:11 PM
Scientists can’t explain it, but somehow every individual member of the Trump administration is THE single worst person to ever walk the earth.
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
To celebrate Opening Day, I give you the best cover ever, by @chrisfenoglio.bsky.social
March 28, 2025 at 3:43 AM
To celebrate Opening Day, I give you the best cover ever, by @chrisfenoglio.bsky.social
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
Reposting because I still love this piece.
April 10, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Reposting because I still love this piece.
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
All I’m saying is that President Harris wouldn’t have us looking at the futures market on a Sunday night.
April 6, 2025 at 11:12 PM
All I’m saying is that President Harris wouldn’t have us looking at the futures market on a Sunday night.
Reposting because after today I need to cleanse my own timeline with my own kid being cute
Took Jack down to Autauga Creek today, since he refused to play on the playground with his sibs.
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
March 25, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Reposting because after today I need to cleanse my own timeline with my own kid being cute
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
Took Jack down to Autauga Creek today, since he refused to play on the playground with his sibs.
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
March 23, 2025 at 3:03 AM
Took Jack down to Autauga Creek today, since he refused to play on the playground with his sibs.
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
“Let’s go see the creek, Jack!”
“Creek? What the creek?”
“See those trees? There’s water over there.”
Big eyes. “The water in the jungle…?”
My 3yo’s favorite @thelongestjohns.bsky.social songs, in his own words:
Yo Ho Ho - Binks’ Brew
The sugar song - Wellerman
Too rye ay - John Kanaka
The Mario song - Wheels of Glory
The one about the water - Rolling Along
The Hammer - Hammer and the Anvil
Johnny Go Home - Johnny Come Down to Hilo
Yo Ho Ho - Binks’ Brew
The sugar song - Wellerman
Too rye ay - John Kanaka
The Mario song - Wheels of Glory
The one about the water - Rolling Along
The Hammer - Hammer and the Anvil
Johnny Go Home - Johnny Come Down to Hilo
March 22, 2025 at 11:20 PM
My 3yo’s favorite @thelongestjohns.bsky.social songs, in his own words:
Yo Ho Ho - Binks’ Brew
The sugar song - Wellerman
Too rye ay - John Kanaka
The Mario song - Wheels of Glory
The one about the water - Rolling Along
The Hammer - Hammer and the Anvil
Johnny Go Home - Johnny Come Down to Hilo
Yo Ho Ho - Binks’ Brew
The sugar song - Wellerman
Too rye ay - John Kanaka
The Mario song - Wheels of Glory
The one about the water - Rolling Along
The Hammer - Hammer and the Anvil
Johnny Go Home - Johnny Come Down to Hilo
“Mom, want Mario song!”
-my 2yo in the car asking to hear @thelongestjohns.bsky.social “Wheels of Glory”
-my 2yo in the car asking to hear @thelongestjohns.bsky.social “Wheels of Glory”
March 11, 2025 at 9:31 PM
“Mom, want Mario song!”
-my 2yo in the car asking to hear @thelongestjohns.bsky.social “Wheels of Glory”
-my 2yo in the car asking to hear @thelongestjohns.bsky.social “Wheels of Glory”
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
One of my companies informed me they cancelled a $2m conference in Florida. Why ?
They didn’t feel they could pass on the incremental cost of tariffs. So they are cutting expenses.
That’s a city that lost a ton of tourism revenue.
The cost of tariffs isn’t just the cost of the tariff
They didn’t feel they could pass on the incremental cost of tariffs. So they are cutting expenses.
That’s a city that lost a ton of tourism revenue.
The cost of tariffs isn’t just the cost of the tariff
March 10, 2025 at 9:38 PM
One of my companies informed me they cancelled a $2m conference in Florida. Why ?
They didn’t feel they could pass on the incremental cost of tariffs. So they are cutting expenses.
That’s a city that lost a ton of tourism revenue.
The cost of tariffs isn’t just the cost of the tariff
They didn’t feel they could pass on the incremental cost of tariffs. So they are cutting expenses.
That’s a city that lost a ton of tourism revenue.
The cost of tariffs isn’t just the cost of the tariff
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
Yeah I know people say anxiety is bad, but mine has just been collecting all the possible things that can go wrong so far. Once it has an exhaustive catalog of every possible mishap, it’ll move on to suggesting solutions and then you better watch out.
February 18, 2025 at 3:44 PM
Yeah I know people say anxiety is bad, but mine has just been collecting all the possible things that can go wrong so far. Once it has an exhaustive catalog of every possible mishap, it’ll move on to suggesting solutions and then you better watch out.
Today I caught my mother losing her temper with my 2yo. He yelled that he wanted to get down from the table, so she wrenched him down out of a chair by his arm before I could intervene. Suddenly all the stories she told of “it was weird how many times you dislocated your elbow as a kid!” make sense.
February 18, 2025 at 4:01 AM
Today I caught my mother losing her temper with my 2yo. He yelled that he wanted to get down from the table, so she wrenched him down out of a chair by his arm before I could intervene. Suddenly all the stories she told of “it was weird how many times you dislocated your elbow as a kid!” make sense.
Reposted by Oni Onigiri
so far going anti-woke leads to less money and planes falling out of the sky
February 17, 2025 at 9:08 PM
so far going anti-woke leads to less money and planes falling out of the sky
I have to scream into the void.
I asked my mom to help my 5yo make her gift bags for school for her class’s Valentines Day party tomorrow while I was in pick-up line for my 8yo.
When I got home, I was bombarded with complaints about how 5yo “wouldn’t listen” and “insisted on doing things her way”.
I asked my mom to help my 5yo make her gift bags for school for her class’s Valentines Day party tomorrow while I was in pick-up line for my 8yo.
When I got home, I was bombarded with complaints about how 5yo “wouldn’t listen” and “insisted on doing things her way”.
February 12, 2025 at 11:09 PM
I have to scream into the void.
I asked my mom to help my 5yo make her gift bags for school for her class’s Valentines Day party tomorrow while I was in pick-up line for my 8yo.
When I got home, I was bombarded with complaints about how 5yo “wouldn’t listen” and “insisted on doing things her way”.
I asked my mom to help my 5yo make her gift bags for school for her class’s Valentines Day party tomorrow while I was in pick-up line for my 8yo.
When I got home, I was bombarded with complaints about how 5yo “wouldn’t listen” and “insisted on doing things her way”.
Not gonna lie, I thought this was a poster for Smile 3 for a second.
The first poster for the final season of ‘THE HANDMAID’S TALE’ has been released.
February 12, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Not gonna lie, I thought this was a poster for Smile 3 for a second.
I watched the superb owl thing and enjoyed the music time. But trying to explain it to my 70 year old parents was… work
February 10, 2025 at 6:26 AM
I watched the superb owl thing and enjoyed the music time. But trying to explain it to my 70 year old parents was… work
Chaos Gremlin Chloe in her natural environment (after my kids aka the big noisy hairless kittens have gone to bed)
February 10, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Chaos Gremlin Chloe in her natural environment (after my kids aka the big noisy hairless kittens have gone to bed)