Author | Lightnews

Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 19h

Teens can absolutely trick-or-treat, while we’re on the subject. Anyone who knocks on that door gets candy.

Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 19h

To the neighbor with the Bernie bumper sticker who was not giving out candy: This is bad praxis and I will remember you.

To the rowdy teens who were trick-or-treating BUT using that candy to fill up the buckets in front of the houses that had run out: This is good praxis and I will remember you.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 21h

He deserves them ALL

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 21h

10 year old just came to the door dressed as MF DOOM.

Pack it in, y’all, Halloween’s done and nobody but that kid won

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 23h

Spoooooooky

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 3d

My four-year-old calls Cybertrucks “silly boats,” which is perhaps the most scathing critique I’ve heard yet of the design of that thing and THE BOY DOESN’T EVEN HAVE THE CONTEXT.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 3d

I like Halloween because the gostis be here

Carolina Hurricanes (Bot) @notcanes.bsky.social · 4d

The #Canes have activated defenseman Shayne Gostisbehere from injured reserve.

We have also placed forward Eric Robinson on injured reserve.

Read » https://www.nhl.com/hurricanes/news/canes-activate-gostisbehere-from-injured-reserve-102825

Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 4d

We talk a lot about how Elon Musk fuckid up on account of ”Tweet” being a word in the dictionary.

We talk less about how the Twitter logo was PROMINENTLY DISPLAYED ON EVERY PRODUCT and IN ALMOST EVERY AD for NO MONEY, and now that it’s a nazi cesspool no one does that anymore.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 5d

He ain’t even gonna thank us for our attention to this matter after dropping this crazy bullshit?

(The answer is, of course, that only the ones written by Stephen Miller thank us for our attention to this matter. This one came straight from the horse’s ass)

Spiro’s Ghost @antitoxicpeople.bsky.social · 6d

My god.

The levels of lunacy and derangement continue to rise every hour at record levels. Its absolutely insane no one in the Republican party has the courage to speak out against a man who is clearly seriously unwell and should be institutionalized immediately. He is terrifyingly crazy.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 6d

@skellyton27.bsky.social you don’t understand, WE HAVE TO

Grant Howitt @gshowitt.bsky.social · Sep 23

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOAT GIRL is my one hundredth one page game.

YOU ARE A GOAT GIRL. It is always your birthday and God Himself could not stop you from doing exactly what you want.

PDFs (including text-only) and design commentary here: www.patreon.com/posts/138800...

A roleplaying game called HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOAT GIRL. Text only version here https://www.patreon.com/posts/138800567

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Reposted by Jake The Human

Maggie Reed @mermaidmamamaggie.bsky.social · 7d

Rated F for Freedom and FDT.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 7d

For all that I’ve agreed with the vast majority of Bernie Sanders’ policy proposals, I just can’t square this position or his position on guns.

Bill McKay @mckay4senate.bsky.social · 7d

Yeah we should put Bernie in the contraption, what the fuck is this dawg

In an interview on “The Tim Dillon Show” released earlier this week, Sanders was asked whether there was a position the Democratic Party could take that recognizes the importance of U.S. citizenship and border security.

“As long as we have nation states, which we have, you got to have borders, right?” the progressive lawmaker said. “If you don’t have any borders, then you don’t have a nation, right, in a sense. So has historically the United States done well under Democrats and Republicans protecting the border? The answer is no.”

He continued: “Trump did a better job. I don’t like Trump, but we should have a secure border, and it ain’t that hard to do.”

Sanders added that former President Joe Biden and “those before him” did not succeed at protecting the border.

“We should have a secure border, period,” Sanders said in the interview released Wednesday. “I think most people in Congress agree with that.”

Host and comedian Tom Dillon went on to ask Sanders why Biden wasn’t “more proactive” when it came to immigration.

“He did some things... I think by the end of his term, if my memory is correct, the number of illegal folks coming in had gone down,” Sanders replied. “But, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that overall it was a good job. It was not.”

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 8d

Harris Teeter: [Opens a bar at the location near my house]

Me: Hey, I need a drink after work, anyone wanna go suckle at the Teet?

My Friends: Jake, can you *please* stop calling it that?

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Reposted by Jake The Human

Jake Steinberg @jakesteinberg.substack.com · Apr 7

the Nintendo Switch 2 price sucks

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 10d

Got some Workplace News I Don’t Like this morning.

One of my Coworkers I Don’t Like came out of their office to ask if I’d seen the email and then declared that they wanted to fuckin WATCH MY FACE as I read it.

Don’t be that coworker today.

Maybe send me cute pictures instead.

Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 10d

It’s literally THIS skull, by the way

The classic David Mitchell “Are we the baddies?” meme. A man in Nazi uniform with a hat pin featuring the totenkopf skull and crossbones insignia has a rare moment of introspection.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 11d

This new song from the Gorillaz ✨took me places✨.

youtu.be/6JIv1l96zN0?...

Gorillaz - The Manifesto ft. Trueno & Proof (Official Visualiser)

YouTube video by Gorillaz

youtu.be

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 12d

Counterpoint: This battle system whips ass, actually, and if it were solely up to me the whole franchise to go in this direction.

I’m glad that both systems can coexist and hope that they’ll keep this system for trainer battles in Legends because Arceus’ trainer battles system wasn’t great.

Polygon @polygon.com · 12d

You still can't beat the strategic playcalling of a good Pokémon RPG

Pokémon Legends: Z-A's combat is no replacement for turn-based battles

You still can't beat the strategic playcalling of a good Pokémon RPG

www.polygon.com

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Reposted by Jake The Human

A Jelly Squishes Slowly By @ubiquisquish.bsky.social · 12d

pui-pui official Tumblr post: “Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma’am, that man has been KILLED. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH.”
Followed by FrogInAPickleJar’s reblog of a photo of Benoit Blanc’s horrified open mouth mid-speech.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 13d

Ironic opponent for the Canes today, eh?

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 13d

Coming 2028, Pokemon Legends: Woosh Bong

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 13d

I’m really enjoying Pokemon ZA so far?

The speed of battling and catching really heightens the experience, even as the city is small.

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Jake The Human @fakeninja.bsky.social · 15d

Sean, you guys JUST did one!

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Reposted by Jake The Human

Me-TRICK-OR-TREAT-ula @metricula.com · 15d

Remember that the gathering place for the Raleigh No Kings protest tomorrow is on Capital Blvd near Triangle Town Center, NOT downtown.

Please share!

From the N&O, hear are some times and locations in pic and alt text:

-Apex: 9 a.m.-12 p.m. at 73 Hunter St.
-Carrboro: 3-4:30 p.m. at 301 W. Main St.
-Cary: 11 a.m.-12 p.m. at 110 SE Maynard Road
-Clayton: 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. at 100 W. Main St.
-Durham: 2-4 p.m. at 501 Foster St.
-Hillsborough: 11 a.m.-12 p.m. at 104 E. King St.
-Pittsboro: 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at 40 E. Chatham St.
-Raleigh: 12-3 p.m. at 6200 Capital Blvd. between Oak Forest Road and Old Wake Forest Road
-Wake Forest: 2-4 p.m. at 221 Brooks St.

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Reposted by Jake The Human

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 15d

J. D. VANCE: We need to end DEI.

MONKEY’S PAW: (raises one finger)

Christopher Hale @christopherjhale.bsky.social · 16d

BREAKING: Pope Leo XIV is set to effectively disband Opus Dei in the coming weeks.

This would be the most sweeping internal reform of his pontificate — and a dramatic continuation of Pope Francis’s legacy.

NEW: Pope Leo Set To Break Up Opus Dei

If Pope Leo does indeed approves a plan that effectively dissolves Opus Dei’s structure, it would be the most significant internal action of his short pontificate to date.

open.substack.com

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