St. Simeon the Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Proverbs 30:2
Proverbs 30:2
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
I certainly don’t think I uploaded a video to YouTube called “eight hours of relaxing white noise to fall asleep to“ except at a random point all the noise stops and it’s just the sound of a baby laughing and then it goes back to normal like nothing happened. That doesn’t sound like me.
December 3, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I certainly don’t think I uploaded a video to YouTube called “eight hours of relaxing white noise to fall asleep to“ except at a random point all the noise stops and it’s just the sound of a baby laughing and then it goes back to normal like nothing happened. That doesn’t sound like me.
“Okay,” said the man,
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
February 5, 2026 at 2:34 AM
“Okay,” said the man,
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
“We watched Melania so you don't have to” No you didn’t. I already didn’t have to, and neither did anyone else. This is on you. Leave me out of it.
February 3, 2026 at 3:16 AM
“We watched Melania so you don't have to” No you didn’t. I already didn’t have to, and neither did anyone else. This is on you. Leave me out of it.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
my horse is extremely large and filled with extremely bad opinions about municipal zoning laws
July 12, 2025 at 1:02 AM
my horse is extremely large and filled with extremely bad opinions about municipal zoning laws
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Democracy dies in oligarchness
February 4, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Democracy dies in oligarchness
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
February 4, 2026 at 2:14 AM
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
February 4, 2026 at 5:02 PM
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
...horrifying message without context, thank you
February 2, 2026 at 10:42 AM
...horrifying message without context, thank you
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
We apologize for the brief suspension of @dril.bsky.social. While our automoderation tool correctly identified that he 'knew too much,' we regret the error.
February 4, 2026 at 5:35 PM
We apologize for the brief suspension of @dril.bsky.social. While our automoderation tool correctly identified that he 'knew too much,' we regret the error.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
February 4, 2026 at 6:09 AM
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
this, on a morning filled with fury and disappointment, made me cackle with glee.
February 4, 2026 at 1:49 PM
this, on a morning filled with fury and disappointment, made me cackle with glee.
Here I thought “Democracy dies in darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a business plan
February 4, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Here I thought “Democracy dies in darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a business plan
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
This. Obviously not all christians etc etc but enough of them in positions of power
One of the worst annoying Christian tricks is when we go “the Bible makes it clear that [literally the exact opposite of the words of the verse we’re quoting], so if you don’t believe that you deny the Bible!”
February 4, 2026 at 1:06 PM
This. Obviously not all christians etc etc but enough of them in positions of power
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.
February 4, 2026 at 2:40 PM
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.
“For you were strangers” cannot be directed to an individual, unless you explain how you think an individual can be more than one stranger.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
Speaking on behalf of a religion that actively sought to spread itself to every country in the world whether invited or not, Speaker Johnson would like to share with you the Biblical case for strong borders.
February 4, 2026 at 12:57 PM
“For you were strangers” cannot be directed to an individual, unless you explain how you think an individual can be more than one stranger.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Journey Back To Manhattan (1964): A tattered matchmaker revisits the English countryside, where an amateur uncle once helped him attack a Zoom call.
February 4, 2026 at 5:41 AM
Journey Back To Manhattan (1964): A tattered matchmaker revisits the English countryside, where an amateur uncle once helped him attack a Zoom call.
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 5:28 AM
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Mozzarella
February 4, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Pumpkin Spice Mozzarella
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Brain Cell
February 3, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Pumpkin Spice Brain Cell
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Last Laugh
February 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Pumpkin Spice Last Laugh
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Society Of Jesus
February 3, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Pumpkin Spice Society Of Jesus
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice IWW
February 4, 2026 at 12:51 AM
Pumpkin Spice IWW