St. Simeon the Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Proverbs 30:2
Proverbs 30:2
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
February 1, 2026 at 6:58 PM
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
February 2, 2026 at 6:02 AM
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"
February 3, 2026 at 2:05 AM
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"
Do you ever do a tweet that just keeps coming into your mind at random moments and making you giggle?
The number one rule in improv cooking is always say Yes Chef And
February 3, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Do you ever do a tweet that just keeps coming into your mind at random moments and making you giggle?
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
February 2, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… again
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day... again
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
If Neil Gaiman doesn’t see his shadow then we get six more weeks of incredibly cursed discourse on rich powerful sex predators
February 2, 2026 at 10:14 PM
If Neil Gaiman doesn’t see his shadow then we get six more weeks of incredibly cursed discourse on rich powerful sex predators
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… again
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day... again
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
if the groundhog pops its head out and doesn't get tear-gassed, the United States gets six more weeks of democracy
February 2, 2026 at 3:28 PM
if the groundhog pops its head out and doesn't get tear-gassed, the United States gets six more weeks of democracy
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
If I don't get to eat, neither does that crocodile!
February 2, 2026 at 6:27 PM
If I don't get to eat, neither does that crocodile!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… Again.”
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Pack of Post-it Notes: $0.25
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathes*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
*breathes*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
February 2, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Pack of Post-it Notes: $0.25
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
True story: when I lived in Chicago my church had a congregation that happened to meet on the same block as Obama’s house. As soon as he was elected, suddenly you couldn’t go anywhere near the building without a full Secret Service clearance. That kind of put a damper on our community outreach.
(That was fascinating in the same way living in Hyde Park a couple of hundred yards down the street from where a president-elect was living, and watching my street turn into a garrison was fascinating. Just watching how Secret Service agents open car doors is fascinating.) 5/x
February 2, 2026 at 5:20 PM
True story: when I lived in Chicago my church had a congregation that happened to meet on the same block as Obama’s house. As soon as he was elected, suddenly you couldn’t go anywhere near the building without a full Secret Service clearance. That kind of put a damper on our community outreach.
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… again.”
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 4:34 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
do not go piggly into that good wiggly
February 1, 2026 at 6:44 PM
do not go piggly into that good wiggly
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Meanwhile at the light at the end of the tunnel….
February 1, 2026 at 9:53 PM
Meanwhile at the light at the end of the tunnel….
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
February 2, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
A Very High-Tech Neighbor (2015): A tacky single mother struggles to outwit a CEO.
February 2, 2026 at 11:41 AM
A Very High-Tech Neighbor (2015): A tacky single mother struggles to outwit a CEO.
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
February 2, 2026 at 6:02 AM
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Reminder if you are not Christian do not say what the tuna
February 2, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Reminder if you are not Christian do not say what the tuna
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
demonology as a concept is anti-dentite, anti-dentite, and cisnormative.
February 2, 2026 at 2:01 AM
demonology as a concept is anti-dentite, anti-dentite, and cisnormative.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
It’s actually pretty easy to beat Isaac Chotiner if you know what to do (wait until he completes his third attack sequence, roll behind him, use Flame Dart until you’re out of mana, hide under the gargoyle head until his Rage Wing Spin finishes, stun him with a Sylvan Dagger, equip the Thallslayer w
February 2, 2026 at 1:33 AM
It’s actually pretty easy to beat Isaac Chotiner if you know what to do (wait until he completes his third attack sequence, roll behind him, use Flame Dart until you’re out of mana, hide under the gargoyle head until his Rage Wing Spin finishes, stun him with a Sylvan Dagger, equip the Thallslayer w