St. Simeon the Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Proverbs 30:2
Proverbs 30:2
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Writing a book called “How To Be Defeated” and sending a copy to all my enemies so they will read it and learn how to be defeated and then I will win because I don’t know how to be defeated
May 21, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Writing a book called “How To Be Defeated” and sending a copy to all my enemies so they will read it and learn how to be defeated and then I will win because I don’t know how to be defeated
SHEEF (The Society For The Prevention of Understanding Acronyms)
February 3, 2026 at 3:58 PM
SHEEF (The Society For The Prevention of Understanding Acronyms)
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Authors In Girlfriendland (1982): A guardian angel must stop a girl named Virginia from ruining Christmas.
February 3, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Authors In Girlfriendland (1982): A guardian angel must stop a girl named Virginia from ruining Christmas.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Credit Line
February 3, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Pumpkin Spice Credit Line
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
February 1, 2026 at 6:58 PM
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
February 2, 2026 at 6:02 AM
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"
February 3, 2026 at 2:05 AM
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"
Yes Chef And it’s really hard to explain to all the people at this funeral
February 3, 2026 at 3:42 AM
Yes Chef And it’s really hard to explain to all the people at this funeral
Do you ever do a tweet that just keeps coming into your mind at random moments and making you giggle?
The number one rule in improv cooking is always say Yes Chef And
February 3, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Do you ever do a tweet that just keeps coming into your mind at random moments and making you giggle?
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
February 2, 2026 at 4:05 PM
Ugh once again the restaurant has blown up thanks to my experiments with nuclear fusion cuisine
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… again
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 3:04 AM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day... again
media.tenor.com
February 3, 2026 at 12:58 AM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
hey as long as we're on the subject of medical care for sick children
February 3, 2026 at 12:10 AM
hey as long as we're on the subject of medical care for sick children
Dude is supposed to be such a great literary genius but he can’t even read a room
February 2, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Dude is supposed to be such a great literary genius but he can’t even read a room
Neil Gaiman has in fact never seen his shadow so this doesn’t bode well
February 2, 2026 at 10:17 PM
Neil Gaiman has in fact never seen his shadow so this doesn’t bode well
If Neil Gaiman doesn’t see his shadow then we get six more weeks of incredibly cursed discourse on rich powerful sex predators
February 2, 2026 at 10:14 PM
If Neil Gaiman doesn’t see his shadow then we get six more weeks of incredibly cursed discourse on rich powerful sex predators
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… again
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 10:10 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day... again
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 8:07 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
if the groundhog pops its head out and doesn't get tear-gassed, the United States gets six more weeks of democracy
February 2, 2026 at 3:28 PM
if the groundhog pops its head out and doesn't get tear-gassed, the United States gets six more weeks of democracy
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
If I don't get to eat, neither does that crocodile!
February 2, 2026 at 6:27 PM
If I don't get to eat, neither does that crocodile!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
You could also buy a cheap alarm clock for about $9
Or use your cell phone that you already have to say Hey Siri, remind me to buy milk
I’m sure businesses will be glad to know you‘ve invented a way to do this that doesn’t work and costs just $750 a month though
It’s the way of the future
Or use your cell phone that you already have to say Hey Siri, remind me to buy milk
I’m sure businesses will be glad to know you‘ve invented a way to do this that doesn’t work and costs just $750 a month though
It’s the way of the future
February 2, 2026 at 5:59 PM
You could also buy a cheap alarm clock for about $9
Or use your cell phone that you already have to say Hey Siri, remind me to buy milk
I’m sure businesses will be glad to know you‘ve invented a way to do this that doesn’t work and costs just $750 a month though
It’s the way of the future
Or use your cell phone that you already have to say Hey Siri, remind me to buy milk
I’m sure businesses will be glad to know you‘ve invented a way to do this that doesn’t work and costs just $750 a month though
It’s the way of the future
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's groundhog day
Alt: a man in a suit and tie is talking into a microphone and says well it 's Groundhog Day… Again.”
media.tenor.com
February 2, 2026 at 5:47 PM
Wishing you all the peace, joy, and blessings of the Groundhog Day season!
Pack of Post-it Notes: $0.25
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*breathes*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
*breathes*
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
February 2, 2026 at 5:46 PM
Pack of Post-it Notes: $0.25
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless
Ballpoint Pen: $1.15
Knowing That My Method Is More Reliable Than The Billion Dollar Scambot: Priceless