St. Simeon the Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Proverbs 30:2
Proverbs 30:2
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.
February 4, 2026 at 2:40 PM
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.
“For you were strangers” cannot be directed to an individual, unless you explain how you think an individual can be more than one stranger.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
Speaking on behalf of a religion that actively sought to spread itself to every country in the world whether invited or not, Speaker Johnson would like to share with you the Biblical case for strong borders.
February 4, 2026 at 12:57 PM
“For you were strangers” cannot be directed to an individual, unless you explain how you think an individual can be more than one stranger.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
I’m honestly not sure whether to be more offended as a Christian, an American, or a reading tutor.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Journey Back To Manhattan (1964): A tattered matchmaker revisits the English countryside, where an amateur uncle once helped him attack a Zoom call.
February 4, 2026 at 5:41 AM
Journey Back To Manhattan (1964): A tattered matchmaker revisits the English countryside, where an amateur uncle once helped him attack a Zoom call.
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 5:28 AM
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Mozzarella
February 4, 2026 at 4:46 AM
Pumpkin Spice Mozzarella
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Brain Cell
February 3, 2026 at 3:43 PM
Pumpkin Spice Brain Cell
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Last Laugh
February 3, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Pumpkin Spice Last Laugh
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Society Of Jesus
February 3, 2026 at 11:03 PM
Pumpkin Spice Society Of Jesus
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice IWW
February 4, 2026 at 12:51 AM
Pumpkin Spice IWW
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Tygger, Tygger bouncing high.
Like a tea-tray in the sky!
What hand framed thee?
Lies the fault
With Milne (A.A.)
Or Disney (Walt)?
Since A.A.’s dead
And Walt’s on ice
We can’t ask them what device
Made thy fearful symmetry.
What the rubber?
What the springs?
What of Hobbes off in the wings?
Like a tea-tray in the sky!
What hand framed thee?
Lies the fault
With Milne (A.A.)
Or Disney (Walt)?
Since A.A.’s dead
And Walt’s on ice
We can’t ask them what device
Made thy fearful symmetry.
What the rubber?
What the springs?
What of Hobbes off in the wings?
February 4, 2026 at 2:49 AM
Tygger, Tygger bouncing high.
Like a tea-tray in the sky!
What hand framed thee?
Lies the fault
With Milne (A.A.)
Or Disney (Walt)?
Since A.A.’s dead
And Walt’s on ice
We can’t ask them what device
Made thy fearful symmetry.
What the rubber?
What the springs?
What of Hobbes off in the wings?
Like a tea-tray in the sky!
What hand framed thee?
Lies the fault
With Milne (A.A.)
Or Disney (Walt)?
Since A.A.’s dead
And Walt’s on ice
We can’t ask them what device
Made thy fearful symmetry.
What the rubber?
What the springs?
What of Hobbes off in the wings?
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
February 4, 2026 at 2:14 AM
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Fun fact: I’m literally the patron saint of this
We are aware of the situation and apologize for any inconvenience
We are aware of the situation and apologize for any inconvenience
November 11, 2023 at 5:32 PM
Fun fact: I’m literally the patron saint of this
We are aware of the situation and apologize for any inconvenience
We are aware of the situation and apologize for any inconvenience
My “not even a little tiny bit sexy” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my song
February 3, 2026 at 9:24 PM
My “not even a little tiny bit sexy” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my song
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
![Comic. Conjecture: It’s possible to construct a convincing proof without words, pictures, or content of any kind. Proof: [empty box] [caption] Proofs without words are cool, but we can go further.](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:cz73r7iyiqn26upot4jtjdhk/bafkreiaukmlmzx6xhbcjej4rq5axkf7a25sjywnvodd53dgnebmt4ver5a@jpeg)
February 3, 2026 at 8:56 PM
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Ooh! Easy for you to say ooga-booga! You don't have to milk this thing!
February 3, 2026 at 8:57 PM
Ooh! Easy for you to say ooga-booga! You don't have to milk this thing!
[Pointing at the man fleeing the studio with a stack of paintings tucked under his arm] Stop, thief! He’s separating the art from the artist!
February 3, 2026 at 8:47 PM
[Pointing at the man fleeing the studio with a stack of paintings tucked under his arm] Stop, thief! He’s separating the art from the artist!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Writing a book called “How To Be Defeated” and sending a copy to all my enemies so they will read it and learn how to be defeated and then I will win because I don’t know how to be defeated
May 21, 2025 at 3:48 AM
Writing a book called “How To Be Defeated” and sending a copy to all my enemies so they will read it and learn how to be defeated and then I will win because I don’t know how to be defeated
SHEEF (The Society For The Prevention of Understanding Acronyms)
February 3, 2026 at 3:58 PM
SHEEF (The Society For The Prevention of Understanding Acronyms)
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Authors In Girlfriendland (1982): A guardian angel must stop a girl named Virginia from ruining Christmas.
February 3, 2026 at 3:41 PM
Authors In Girlfriendland (1982): A guardian angel must stop a girl named Virginia from ruining Christmas.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Pumpkin Spice Credit Line
February 3, 2026 at 2:38 PM
Pumpkin Spice Credit Line
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
February 1, 2026 at 6:58 PM
ME: Is it any if the signs of the apocalypse if rabbits spontaneously acquire the gifts of speech and rhetoric?
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
PRIEST: I…. don’t think so? Why do you ask?
ME: No reason.
RABBIT:
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
February 2, 2026 at 6:02 AM
ISAAC CHOTINER: I see. But you went through a retirement period from 1993-2001 where you didn’t record any music at all, almost like you gave up on the entire music industry, would you say that maybe you let your fans down—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
RICK ASTLEY: No, no, no, look—
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"
February 3, 2026 at 2:05 AM
It's wrong that they won't let me live in a 55+ community simply due to my age. They should let you in if you match the "general vibe"