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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social

1.3K followers 840 following 4.1K posts

Official patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T. World’s leading authority on Emile Gouffart. Innocent bystander. Professor Demetrius of Chaos Theology!

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 29d

Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!

Because, well why not, that's why!

bsky.app/profile/pump...

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 29d

Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians

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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 23m

the portland chicken explains

Adam Serwer @adamserwer.bsky.social · 38m

www.wweek.com/culture/2025...

Can you put into words what that purpose is? You and the frog have really become icons of this protest.

There’s been a nice overall whimsy that has shown up. The frog is amazing. We had a bunch of other inflatable people here last night, too. I saw people playing Twister the other day.

What they rely on is fear. So by coming out in an absurdist manner, it speaks to them, to some extent, that we’re actually not that afraid.

It also dismantles their narrative a little bit. When they try to describe this situation as “war-torn,” it becomes much harder to take them seriously when they have to post a video saying [U.S. Secretary of Homeland Security] Kristi Noem is up on the balcony staring over the Antifa Army and it’s, like, eight journalists and five protesters and one of them is in a chicken suit.

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darth™️ @darthbluesky.bsky.social · 3h

the revolution led by a frog and an otter with a turtle on its head

Chiitan🌈ちぃたん☆ @chiitan.love · 12h

Chiitan has a dream.
I hope that one day the term LGBT will become a thing of the past.
I will continue to spread my message until we live in a world where everyone can love freely and is free from persecution and discrimination.
Until then, let's all support each other🤍

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The Super Mario Bros Super Bot! @supershowbot.bsky.social · 58m

I got it... Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1h

10/10 no notes

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Matt Novak @paleofuture.bsky.social · 3h

Okay this is a good headline

Guardian Australia @australia.theguardian.com · 3h

You won’t believe what degrading practice the Pope just condemned

Communication must be freed from clickbait and misguided thinking, head of Catholic church tells journalists The Pope has condemned clickbait as a “degrading” part of journalism, at a private audience with global newswires. Australian media representatives were among those to hear directly from Pope Leo XIV at the Vatican on Thursday with about 150 members of newswire alliance MINDS International. Continue reading...

www.theguardian.com

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Rohan Salmond @rjsalmond.bsky.social · 1h

Adding “Would you take the yeti blood oath” to my list of the internet’s thorny theological questions

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Jul 20

Ah finally here’s someone who knows how to tell it with prose that’s less self-serious than Pillar

futurism.com/satanic-yeti...

The Catholic Church Reportedly Called in an Exorcist to Deal With "Yeti Cult" Running Bizarre Blood Rituals at Archdiocese of Denver

A yeti cult that prompted the involvement of an exorcist is raising questions for the Catholic church in Denver.

futurism.com

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1h

Here you go
Judy & Janet

a baby is looking out of a window with the words `` here you go judy & janet '' .

Alt: a baby is looking out of a window with the words `` here you go judy & janet '' . He throws a pile of cash.

media.tenor.com

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Don Moynihan @donmoyn.bsky.social · 3h

This is the genius of the Portland protests - they make the claims of lawlessness look not just wrong, but comical

The Daily Show @thedailyshow.com · 5h

The following is REAL footage from Portland, 2025. Viewer discretion is advised.

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2h

Despite many people's opinions of Marilyn Monroe, I, a very smart person, am going to take a bold countercultural stance and explain how I came to realize she was actually pretty good-looking.

bendwalsh.bsky.social @bendwalsh.bsky.social · 7h

wtaf are you talking about

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 3h

I wish I could remember who I first saw say this, but:

People who tend to (a) care passionately about injustice, (b) pay close attention to facts and rules, (c) communicate bluntly, and (d) don’t care about social pressures to conform….

….might not be very endearing to authoritarian leaders!

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Saoirse ☀️ @scratchcarddust.bsky.social · 10h

If you know basic kabbalah it's actually not too hard to make a golem out of a labubu. Don't recommend it though. They have a pre-existing body-dharma. As soon as they wake they run straight for the sea. V hard to counter. Lost the first one. No idea what it's doing out there. Moved like lightning.

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Brendel @brendelbored.bsky.social · 5h

This isn’t just “Charlie Brown had hoes” levels of wrong it’s “Charlie Brown never had a dog” levels of wrong

bendwalsh.bsky.social @bendwalsh.bsky.social · 7h

wtaf are you talking about

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Nov 12

BRUTUS: Hey, big news, I’m putting a free rock album on your iPod!

CAESAR: U2, Brute?

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Feral T. Robot, Oil Swamp Utility Bot #7629 @feralrobots.bsky.social · 10h

If you weren't over 15 at the time it's easy to forget how massively hyped the Segway was. Before anyone even knew what it was we were being subjected to predictions it would alter our lives & change the shape of cities. Now people barely remember they exist.

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 10h

Once the Segway was invented, we lived in a Segway World. Everybody thought it was kinda cool for about two seconds, then collectively we realized it was just dorky, pointed and laughed at it, and went on with our lives and forgot all about it. So, yaknow, that’s always an option too.

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barefootwriter @bfwriter.bsky.social · 10h

I bet the Pope also hates Illinois Nazis, insofar as the Pope is allowed to hate anyone, anyway.

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escapedexplorer.bsky.social @escapedexplorer.bsky.social · 23h

WWII "Friend" poster series from the Allied Forces, originally demonstrating the various Allied forces (British, Australian, Chinese, French, Dutch, etc.) and their appearances

It reads:

"This man is your FRIEND

He fights for FREEDOM"

The image is a sepia/black and white toned image of the Portland Frog protester, simply labelled FROG

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 10h

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 10h

“Later that day, Bob went to the office.”

If scene 6 needs to be at the beach you could say “Bob went to the beach” instead

That will be $1 Trillion please

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 11h

Chicago Pope, baby, let’s gooooo

Lucius Fox In The Box @carnegro.bsky.social · 12h

Pope Leo is spitting.

www.npr.org/2025/10/09/n...

Leo questioned a world where the wealth of the elite grows
"exponentially" while many "millions of people die of hunger or survive in conditions unfit for human beings." He also criticized "ideologies that defend the absolute autonomy of the marketplace and financial speculation,"
with false promises "that a free-market economy will automatically solve the problem of poverty."

Leo described a "new tyranny," which shuns any kind of oversight and where the economy is structured "in such a way that sacrifices are demanded of the masses in order to serve the needs of the powerful." The poor, he wrote, are only allowed "drops that trickle down."

The pope openly challenged "prosperity theology" and called Christians to the practice of giving charity. "It will not solve the problem of world poverty, yet it must still be carried out, with intelligence, diligence and social responsibility," he wrote.

Popular movements that challenge "the empire of money," invite people to take on the cause to combat poverty alongside the poor, instead of on their behalf, and "make history," the pope said. It our duty, Leo said, to "make their voices heard, albeit in different ways, in order to point out and denounce such structural issues, even at the cost of appearing foolish or naïve."

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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Angiotensin-Converting Enzyme Inhibitor

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 12h

DOCTOR: have you been having too much seasonal coffee and treats

ME: what who me

DOCTOR: because you have a

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Gas Embolism

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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 22h

Pumpkin Spice Christian Theology

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 12h

Are we ready yet to circle back to the yeti blood oath seminary affair

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Jul 19

For those who are asking “what yeti blood oath seminary affair?!?” (YES! correct! that is a GOOD question!), here you go

It is definitely at least somewhat abominable

www.pillarcatholic.com/p/yeti-blood...

‘Yeti blood oath’ divides Denver seminary

‘A well-intended moment, it clearly went badly wrong and never should have happened.’

www.pillarcatholic.com

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Mar 5

Wizard lawyers saying the magic words….. “habeas corpus!”

Maybe this one was funnier in my head

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 13h

Poems From The Grocery Cart will, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, be back after these messages

(Morse code beeps)

Did you get that?