St. Simeon the Holy Fool
@simeonthefool.bsky.social
Patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Pitied by Mr. T. Sillier than thou.
Proverbs 30:2
Proverbs 30:2
Pinned
Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians
Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
Because, well why not, that's why!
bsky.app/profile/pump...
You know what, I’m not even mad, it takes a special kind of hubris to mock people for praying over meals while you’re speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast
Trump: "Mike Johnson is a very religious person. He does not hide it. He'll say to me sometimes at lunch, 'Sir, may we pray.' I'll say, 'Excuse me? We're having lunch.'"
February 5, 2026 at 6:30 PM
You know what, I’m not even mad, it takes a special kind of hubris to mock people for praying over meals while you’re speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
We built this city on rock and roll
We built this town on bluegrass
We built this suburb on Top 40 pop
We built this alley on punk
We built this village on bardcore folk
We built this dukedom on classical
We built this club on funk
But the world? … We built this world on jazz
Thank you
We built this town on bluegrass
We built this suburb on Top 40 pop
We built this alley on punk
We built this village on bardcore folk
We built this dukedom on classical
We built this club on funk
But the world? … We built this world on jazz
Thank you
August 12, 2025 at 1:09 PM
We built this city on rock and roll
We built this town on bluegrass
We built this suburb on Top 40 pop
We built this alley on punk
We built this village on bardcore folk
We built this dukedom on classical
We built this club on funk
But the world? … We built this world on jazz
Thank you
We built this town on bluegrass
We built this suburb on Top 40 pop
We built this alley on punk
We built this village on bardcore folk
We built this dukedom on classical
We built this club on funk
But the world? … We built this world on jazz
Thank you
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Caesaronimo!
February 5, 2026 at 5:27 PM
Caesaronimo!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Yelling the “Big And Sexy” song out of my window at 4 AM. This is important for visitors to the monastery, so they can feel comfortable in case they come from a place where someone yells the “Big And Sexy” song out of their window at 4 AM.
August 26, 2023 at 1:51 PM
Yelling the “Big And Sexy” song out of my window at 4 AM. This is important for visitors to the monastery, so they can feel comfortable in case they come from a place where someone yells the “Big And Sexy” song out of their window at 4 AM.
The first time I ever heard George Carlin’s “Seven Dirty Words”
routine was a clip in an interview on NPR.
The announcer demurely assured us, “We have, of course, obscured the offending words.”
Somehow that routine doesn’t hit nearly as well when it’s the “Seven Long Bleeps”.
#TrueStory
routine was a clip in an interview on NPR.
The announcer demurely assured us, “We have, of course, obscured the offending words.”
Somehow that routine doesn’t hit nearly as well when it’s the “Seven Long Bleeps”.
#TrueStory
February 5, 2026 at 5:01 PM
The first time I ever heard George Carlin’s “Seven Dirty Words”
routine was a clip in an interview on NPR.
The announcer demurely assured us, “We have, of course, obscured the offending words.”
Somehow that routine doesn’t hit nearly as well when it’s the “Seven Long Bleeps”.
#TrueStory
routine was a clip in an interview on NPR.
The announcer demurely assured us, “We have, of course, obscured the offending words.”
Somehow that routine doesn’t hit nearly as well when it’s the “Seven Long Bleeps”.
#TrueStory
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Today's frog is the moaning frog.
February 5, 2026 at 12:37 PM
Today's frog is the moaning frog.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Wicked is the documentary about how everyone decided at the same moment that the Witch of the West was evil, and this moment was used to calibrate all the clocks to green witch mean time
November 19, 2024 at 3:51 AM
Wicked is the documentary about how everyone decided at the same moment that the Witch of the West was evil, and this moment was used to calibrate all the clocks to green witch mean time
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
CAN I GET A HEAR YE (HEAR YE) HEAR YE (HEAR YE) CAN I GET A HEAR YE (HEAR YE) HEAR YE (HEAR YE) OHHHHHHH
January 13, 2025 at 6:58 AM
CAN I GET A HEAR YE (HEAR YE) HEAR YE (HEAR YE) CAN I GET A HEAR YE (HEAR YE) HEAR YE (HEAR YE) OHHHHHHH
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Hey Jude, Jude Bombadillo,
Take a sad song by reed and willow,
Remember to harken now and hear us,
Our need is near us, to make it better.
Na na na ring a ding dol,
Ring a ding dol, Hey Jude
Take a sad song by reed and willow,
Remember to harken now and hear us,
Our need is near us, to make it better.
Na na na ring a ding dol,
Ring a ding dol, Hey Jude
July 11, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Hey Jude, Jude Bombadillo,
Take a sad song by reed and willow,
Remember to harken now and hear us,
Our need is near us, to make it better.
Na na na ring a ding dol,
Ring a ding dol, Hey Jude
Take a sad song by reed and willow,
Remember to harken now and hear us,
Our need is near us, to make it better.
Na na na ring a ding dol,
Ring a ding dol, Hey Jude
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
I certainly don’t think I uploaded a video to YouTube called “eight hours of relaxing white noise to fall asleep to“ except at a random point all the noise stops and it’s just the sound of a baby laughing and then it goes back to normal like nothing happened. That doesn’t sound like me.
December 3, 2025 at 8:20 AM
I certainly don’t think I uploaded a video to YouTube called “eight hours of relaxing white noise to fall asleep to“ except at a random point all the noise stops and it’s just the sound of a baby laughing and then it goes back to normal like nothing happened. That doesn’t sound like me.
“Okay,” said the man,
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
February 5, 2026 at 2:34 AM
“Okay,” said the man,
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
“But what about the time
When there were *no* footprints
In the sand?”
“Oh,” said the Lord,
“That was the time
When we both got rescued
By Superman!
He can fly, yknow!”
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
“We watched Melania so you don't have to” No you didn’t. I already didn’t have to, and neither did anyone else. This is on you. Leave me out of it.
February 3, 2026 at 3:16 AM
“We watched Melania so you don't have to” No you didn’t. I already didn’t have to, and neither did anyone else. This is on you. Leave me out of it.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
my horse is extremely large and filled with extremely bad opinions about municipal zoning laws
July 12, 2025 at 1:02 AM
my horse is extremely large and filled with extremely bad opinions about municipal zoning laws
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
Democracy dies in oligarchness
February 4, 2026 at 6:08 PM
Democracy dies in oligarchness
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
February 4, 2026 at 2:14 AM
The wonderful thing about Tyggers
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Is Tyggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night
What bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye
Did frame the most wonderful thing about Tyggers,
Their fearful symmetry!
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
February 4, 2026 at 5:02 PM
After a lengthy appeals process and productive discussion with the Blue Sky safety team I will no loinger be sending George Thorogood lyrics to beautiful women on here via DM. Thank you all
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
...horrifying message without context, thank you
February 2, 2026 at 10:42 AM
...horrifying message without context, thank you
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
We apologize for the brief suspension of @dril.bsky.social. While our automoderation tool correctly identified that he 'knew too much,' we regret the error.
February 4, 2026 at 5:35 PM
We apologize for the brief suspension of @dril.bsky.social. While our automoderation tool correctly identified that he 'knew too much,' we regret the error.
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
February 4, 2026 at 6:09 AM
ME: I caught Monocle Guy stealing my leftovers again.
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
BOSS: Is that true?
MONOCLE GUY: (monocle popping off) Good heavens!!
ME: He’s not actually surprised.
BOSS: Really? He seems surprised.
MONOCLE GUY: (another monocle popping off) Dearest me!!
ME: No, he’s doing a bit.
BOSS: Hm. I don’t know
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
this, on a morning filled with fury and disappointment, made me cackle with glee.
February 4, 2026 at 1:49 PM
this, on a morning filled with fury and disappointment, made me cackle with glee.
Here I thought “Democracy dies in darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a business plan
February 4, 2026 at 3:52 PM
Here I thought “Democracy dies in darkness” was supposed to be a warning, not a business plan
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
This. Obviously not all christians etc etc but enough of them in positions of power
One of the worst annoying Christian tricks is when we go “the Bible makes it clear that [literally the exact opposite of the words of the verse we’re quoting], so if you don’t believe that you deny the Bible!”
February 4, 2026 at 1:06 PM
This. Obviously not all christians etc etc but enough of them in positions of power
Reposted by St. Simeon the Holy Fool
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.
February 4, 2026 at 2:40 PM
An AI Chatbot To Kiss (1992): When Christmas dinner becomes put-upon, a haunted man must film Satan.