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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

@simeonthefool.bsky.social

1.3K followers 840 following 4K posts

Official patron saint of holy fools! And puppeteers. Sillier than thou. Pitied by Mr. T. World’s leading authority on Emile Gouffart. Innocent bystander. Professor Demetrius of Chaos Theology!

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 28d

Meet my new bot, @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social, which takes every noun in the English language (119,000 nouns, per WordNet, including proper and compound nouns).... and makes it Pumpkin Spice!

Because, well why not, that's why!

bsky.app/profile/pump...

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 28d

Pumpkin Spice Epistle To The Colossians

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Nov 19

We never hear about a mediocre mouse detective

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2h

a man with long hair and a beard is standing in front of a microphone .

Alt: a man with long hair and a beard is standing in front of a microphone . “Man….”

media.tenor.com

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 4h

You must read this. You must read all of this.

Live from New York, it's The Dunning-Kruger Comedy Hour

If we don't get to see this, it proves media bias against unfunny comedians

I'm not the patron saint of this, but Andy Kaufman might be

Luke Steuber @lukesteuber.com · 6h

This is hilarious. Now I want to watch this show

A rightwing late-night show may have bombed – but the funding behind it is no laughing matter

Conservative donors spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to make a rightwing Stephen Colbert-style talkshow

www.theguardian.com

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Tom McGrath @tcmcg.bsky.social · 12h

Tradcaths: “Pleeeeease can we have an American Pope?”

[monkey’s paw curls into a tight fist]

Jack Jenkins @jackjenkins.me · 13h

For the uninitiated: The pope being this direct and explicit to U.S. bishops about how to respond to a domestic policy happening in real time is…unusual.

Joshua McElwee @joshmcelwee.org · 16h

Pope Leo told U.S. bishops visiting him at the Vatican on Wednesday that they should firmly address how immigrants are being treated by President Donald Trump's hardline policies, attendees said, in the latest push by the pontiff on the issue. For @reuters.com:

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 5h

ACAB includes all cops

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 5h

Does.... does this mean we may have a groovy painting project in our future???

a colorful bus is driving down the road with a new york license plate that says sbsfpd

Alt: a colorful bus is driving down the road. Far out, man!

media.tenor.com

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 10h

I’m not actually extremely concerned about the rise of gas costs in our nation; it’s just that autocorrect has decided “gas costs” is what I must really mean whenever I type “fascists.”

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 11h

You all, too, can make bad ideas if in your heart you truly believe! Let’s try one now, together! What should be the texture and flavor of cheese? Gummy worms!!! But only one piece of cheese in fifty, so they will never know which it will be. See how easy??! See how bad, how dreadful?! #horrid

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 11h

Oho, oho, oho! Here is, a bad idea! What are the flavors of toothpaste? What are all their names? Shrimp curry, duck sauce, fish AND chips! And that’s all of them! What a wonderful bad idea!!!

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Musicology Duck @musicologyduck.bsky.social · 23h

can we get a folk singer on "the ballad of sandwich guy and the inflatable frog man"

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 23h

God save the Queen

rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 1d

listen. when dolly parton’s sister says it’s time for us all to be prayer warriors for dolly. you fucking pray for dolly

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Chekhov’s Nephew: someone who seems at first to be an average untalented actor, but who will turn out to get the lead role of the play

Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 6d

🎵
You and me
Me and you
Chilling with EL CHUPACABRA
like we do

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Chauvinist

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Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Gospel Truth

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Nintendo DS Lewis @blueberrymill.bsky.social · 1d

Christian insta influencers

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Gospel Truth

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

globe moment @pacifismenjoyer.bsky.social · 1d

this would fix me

Every Noun, Pumpkin Spiced @pumpkinspicenoun.bsky.social · 1d

Pumpkin Spice Gospel Truth

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Nov 1

SCROOGE: Bah, Humbug! I hate everything to do with Halloween!

MARLEY: Tonight you will be visited by three Christmas elves!

SCROOGE: Okay wait a sec

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Aliens from Planet PEMDAS! No one can escape their deadly operations.

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · Sep 26

GHOST: Baaa!

ME: … Baa? Are you a sheep?

GHOST: Oh man, oh dang it, I can’t believe it, this is my first haunting and I blew my only line!

ME: No, it’s okay buddy, you can do it, try it again!

GHOST: …Boo.

ME: AHHH! See, that was great!

GHOST: Yeah, I’m… just gonna leave

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 2d

I didn’t even know it was possible to get kicked out of Open Mic Night “with absolute prejudice”, all my song said was “I like strong leading ladies in the books that I read / That’s the only heroine addiction I need”

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

👀

bsky.app/profile/jay....

Jay 🦋 @jay.bsky.team · 5d

Are you paying us? Where?

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 1d

Christmas is canceled

Pwnallthethings @pwnallthethings.bsky.social · 2d

Tragic news from Canada where the Canadian Supreme Court has gone from the official dress on the left to the one on the right

Canadian Supreme court. Everyone is dressed in bright red wooly gowns, with a beige trim. It looks sort of like a Santa robe

The Canadian Supreme court. Everyone is dressed in black gowns with a bright white kravat, and two thin red vertical lines on the side of the robe

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Reposted by St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool

St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 21d

*Old Rip Van Winkle shambling out of the woods*

*looks around*

*Old Rip Van Winkle running back into the woods and knocking himself out cold with a ninepin*

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St. Simeon the Pumpkin Spice Holy Fool @simeonthefool.bsky.social · 15d

The wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is Tiggers are burning bright
Their tops are made out of rubber
In the forest of the night

They’re bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy,
Immortal hand or eye,
But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Is their fearful symmetry!

Illustration by William Blake of the Tuger, which has a surprisingly goofy grin when you look at it close.

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