Garret Heinrich
@garretheinrich.bsky.social
Just your average every day Ginger.
My wife:“Will you put away the groceries?”
Me: (Nonverbally: 90% of them, until the food makes me hungry and I get distracted making lunch out of the things in the fridge I have to move to fit the new groceries in and will leave 3-4 things on the counter for you.) yes.
Her: You’re amazing
Me: (Nonverbally: 90% of them, until the food makes me hungry and I get distracted making lunch out of the things in the fridge I have to move to fit the new groceries in and will leave 3-4 things on the counter for you.) yes.
Her: You’re amazing
December 15, 2025 at 7:00 PM
My wife:“Will you put away the groceries?”
Me: (Nonverbally: 90% of them, until the food makes me hungry and I get distracted making lunch out of the things in the fridge I have to move to fit the new groceries in and will leave 3-4 things on the counter for you.) yes.
Her: You’re amazing
Me: (Nonverbally: 90% of them, until the food makes me hungry and I get distracted making lunch out of the things in the fridge I have to move to fit the new groceries in and will leave 3-4 things on the counter for you.) yes.
Her: You’re amazing
In honor of the completely fake #FIFAPeacePrize what is your hopeful fake award for the stuff you wish you did but don’t actually do?
Mine is the #FIFACleansAsHeCooksCertificate
Mine is the #FIFACleansAsHeCooksCertificate
December 6, 2025 at 2:21 AM
In honor of the completely fake #FIFAPeacePrize what is your hopeful fake award for the stuff you wish you did but don’t actually do?
Mine is the #FIFACleansAsHeCooksCertificate
Mine is the #FIFACleansAsHeCooksCertificate
FIFA is such BS. And then they give a made ass up award to Trump. Just gross.
December 5, 2025 at 5:32 PM
FIFA is such BS. And then they give a made ass up award to Trump. Just gross.
Was very weird to be scrolling and find the A’s thong on sale…
I have a lot of questions.
Here is one:
Do women pay $20 for a single pair of underwear?
Please leave yours below
I have a lot of questions.
Here is one:
Do women pay $20 for a single pair of underwear?
Please leave yours below
November 29, 2025 at 1:51 PM
Was very weird to be scrolling and find the A’s thong on sale…
I have a lot of questions.
Here is one:
Do women pay $20 for a single pair of underwear?
Please leave yours below
I have a lot of questions.
Here is one:
Do women pay $20 for a single pair of underwear?
Please leave yours below
Andruw Jones & John Oliver (I’d say John Cena but I’ve…never…seen him 👀👀 celebrate)
Question 50:
Who’s the coolest person with whom you share a birthday?
I’ve got Coolio, Chuck D, Jason Momoa, and Hermann Melville.
Who’s the coolest person with whom you share a birthday?
I’ve got Coolio, Chuck D, Jason Momoa, and Hermann Melville.
November 16, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Andruw Jones & John Oliver (I’d say John Cena but I’ve…never…seen him 👀👀 celebrate)
It dropped below 70 this week so we made soup. And the lady who Catfished me (my wife) said something after I stated I forgot the baguette and I’m not sure I agree with her:
“This isn’t a bread soup”
I’m pretty sure all soups are bread soups.
“This isn’t a bread soup”
I’m pretty sure all soups are bread soups.
November 11, 2025 at 7:54 PM
It dropped below 70 this week so we made soup. And the lady who Catfished me (my wife) said something after I stated I forgot the baguette and I’m not sure I agree with her:
“This isn’t a bread soup”
I’m pretty sure all soups are bread soups.
“This isn’t a bread soup”
I’m pretty sure all soups are bread soups.
What’s that little circle around southeast Houston? What is that doing there!?
*unilaterally redraws geographic borders like the GOP*
Not so fast, friendo
Not so fast, friendo
November 10, 2025 at 4:06 PM
What’s that little circle around southeast Houston? What is that doing there!?
I think the Jaguars may be the DUMBEST team I have ever watched.
November 9, 2025 at 7:39 PM
I think the Jaguars may be the DUMBEST team I have ever watched.
In N Out is elite for what it specifically is, but overrated if you compare to the elite of its position.
Meaning it is a good to very good burger. But there are so many Hall of Fame burgers, it can't be HOF.
But when you look at it for what it is, a Fast Food Burger, it is arguably the GOAT
Meaning it is a good to very good burger. But there are so many Hall of Fame burgers, it can't be HOF.
But when you look at it for what it is, a Fast Food Burger, it is arguably the GOAT
Overrated, but always comes thru. Is In-N-Out the Derek Jeter of burger spots? Joe Carter? I need to chew on this. And, that.
November 7, 2025 at 2:56 PM
In N Out is elite for what it specifically is, but overrated if you compare to the elite of its position.
Meaning it is a good to very good burger. But there are so many Hall of Fame burgers, it can't be HOF.
But when you look at it for what it is, a Fast Food Burger, it is arguably the GOAT
Meaning it is a good to very good burger. But there are so many Hall of Fame burgers, it can't be HOF.
But when you look at it for what it is, a Fast Food Burger, it is arguably the GOAT
I hate when people subskeet me.
A certain person has never read Lord Of The Rings.
October 30, 2025 at 1:00 AM
I hate when people subskeet me.
I love a good cross genre cover. Like LOVE THEM. Pop to punk, rock to soul, hip hop to piano driven pop.
But I hate when people are like, “omg this song shouldn’t work like that” and all I think of, actually I think it means is a well built song. It just means the structure is great.
But I hate when people are like, “omg this song shouldn’t work like that” and all I think of, actually I think it means is a well built song. It just means the structure is great.
October 30, 2025 at 12:51 AM
I love a good cross genre cover. Like LOVE THEM. Pop to punk, rock to soul, hip hop to piano driven pop.
But I hate when people are like, “omg this song shouldn’t work like that” and all I think of, actually I think it means is a well built song. It just means the structure is great.
But I hate when people are like, “omg this song shouldn’t work like that” and all I think of, actually I think it means is a well built song. It just means the structure is great.
Someone trying to get back in the group chat @thatbootlegguy.bsky.social
I think you guys are the 2 coolest dudes on this app
October 24, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Someone trying to get back in the group chat @thatbootlegguy.bsky.social
Didn’t chime in yesterday, but can’t wait for Shea to deservedly win the Silver Slugger Award for American League Catchers. #Athletics
October 24, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Didn’t chime in yesterday, but can’t wait for Shea to deservedly win the Silver Slugger Award for American League Catchers. #Athletics
Listen, I’m not sure when Kisha gets home, but I know the 12 hr clock will start ticking (probably today) and those last two hours of details are what makes all the difference. Get those military corner sheet tuck ins for extra points.
Kisha is on business travel all week, so he came home, stood out in the driveway with his date for a bit, then they hopped in Kisha’s car and went off somewhere. Kudos to him for listening to me, at least
October 24, 2025 at 1:08 PM
Listen, I’m not sure when Kisha gets home, but I know the 12 hr clock will start ticking (probably today) and those last two hours of details are what makes all the difference. Get those military corner sheet tuck ins for extra points.
And somehow the Astrodome is still standing
October 22, 2025 at 10:10 PM
And somehow the Astrodome is still standing
Flying home during Game 7 is gonna be fun.
October 20, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Flying home during Game 7 is gonna be fun.
What’s a thing you thought for too long as a kid?
Me, until I was 14, I thought this road sign meant “Watch for birds” because in my brain it was a representation of Woodstock from Peanuts wearing a a fedora. And obviously everyone knew the peanuts side characters, side characters like I did.
Me, until I was 14, I thought this road sign meant “Watch for birds” because in my brain it was a representation of Woodstock from Peanuts wearing a a fedora. And obviously everyone knew the peanuts side characters, side characters like I did.
October 20, 2025 at 8:54 PM
What’s a thing you thought for too long as a kid?
Me, until I was 14, I thought this road sign meant “Watch for birds” because in my brain it was a representation of Woodstock from Peanuts wearing a a fedora. And obviously everyone knew the peanuts side characters, side characters like I did.
Me, until I was 14, I thought this road sign meant “Watch for birds” because in my brain it was a representation of Woodstock from Peanuts wearing a a fedora. And obviously everyone knew the peanuts side characters, side characters like I did.
I am with family and did not watch the Dodgers game last night.
Ohtani is very good.
But I can’t imagine how stressful it is for Dodgers fans when the bullpen comes in and everything is hard hit and it feels like it’s all going to….just kidding these guys are insane and going to crush the AL.
Ohtani is very good.
But I can’t imagine how stressful it is for Dodgers fans when the bullpen comes in and everything is hard hit and it feels like it’s all going to….just kidding these guys are insane and going to crush the AL.
October 18, 2025 at 3:23 PM
I am with family and did not watch the Dodgers game last night.
Ohtani is very good.
But I can’t imagine how stressful it is for Dodgers fans when the bullpen comes in and everything is hard hit and it feels like it’s all going to….just kidding these guys are insane and going to crush the AL.
Ohtani is very good.
But I can’t imagine how stressful it is for Dodgers fans when the bullpen comes in and everything is hard hit and it feels like it’s all going to….just kidding these guys are insane and going to crush the AL.
I’m not sure who said it first but let history show @thatbootlegguy.bsky.social and I were the first two to applaud and predict this, sometime in April I believe!
“Tyler Soderstrom was nominated for a Gold Glove in left field” is not a sentence I ever thought I would type.
October 15, 2025 at 2:42 PM
I’m not sure who said it first but let history show @thatbootlegguy.bsky.social and I were the first two to applaud and predict this, sometime in April I believe!
The Dodgers decided to Moneyball baseball by getting pitchers who could go 8 or 9 innings without giving up runs and that is impressive “haha, none of you idiots thought of that” move by them.
October 15, 2025 at 12:13 PM
The Dodgers decided to Moneyball baseball by getting pitchers who could go 8 or 9 innings without giving up runs and that is impressive “haha, none of you idiots thought of that” move by them.
Wrote a funny 99 reasons that Houston is Better than Dallas before a Texans/Cowboys game and the next year the Dynamo (soccer) made a video to hype up their game against FC Frisco (Dallas) and used my 12 best jokes! No credit. Until I called and was like. Da Fauq?!
Saw this and, yes, it’s weird, but #athletics stole a bit from me for their Spring Training TV coverage several years back and you just gotta charge it to the game, man lol (to be clear, Sarah Langs ain’t steal sh t lol)
If you’re accusing Sarah Langs of stealing your content someone needs to take your phone away from you.
October 15, 2025 at 3:37 AM
Wrote a funny 99 reasons that Houston is Better than Dallas before a Texans/Cowboys game and the next year the Dynamo (soccer) made a video to hype up their game against FC Frisco (Dallas) and used my 12 best jokes! No credit. Until I called and was like. Da Fauq?!
Well Fred Warner smiling as he leaves the field with a gruesome injury…I love him. Can I send soup!? How can I help him heal?
October 12, 2025 at 8:55 PM
Well Fred Warner smiling as he leaves the field with a gruesome injury…I love him. Can I send soup!? How can I help him heal?
Found a box of memorabilia. This Oakland A’s season finale at home 1991. Who is this?
October 11, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Found a box of memorabilia. This Oakland A’s season finale at home 1991. Who is this?
The oneders!
October 11, 2025 at 6:31 PM
The oneders!