Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
@hazelebaumgartner.bsky.social
Artist, author, musician, witch, and Hot Wheels collector. I make music under the name Hazel Bee and write books under the name Hazel E. Baumgartner, which is also my name.
30, she/they, 99% lesbian, USA 🇺🇸🏳️🌈
Buy my book: https://a.co/d/6Aanpc7
30, she/they, 99% lesbian, USA 🇺🇸🏳️🌈
Buy my book: https://a.co/d/6Aanpc7
Pinned
My pinned post disappeared again so HI! If you like gorey monster stories, suspenseful mysteries, supernatural thrillers, cryptid horror, and books where the killer in the woods is a metaphor for grief, you should check out my debut novel, "The Woods: A Horror Novel", out now!
a.co/d/6dTmubc
a.co/d/6dTmubc
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
All the magic in #Heliruna comes from an ancient curse. A group of women were accused of being witches and expelled from their homeland, so an actual witch took pity on them and granted their bloodline unnaturally long life and foresight, among other things, known as "The Cunning". #Febchantment
#Febchantment Day 3
What is the central concept of your magic system? E.g. Elemental magic? Music magic? Name-based magic? Something else? (Note: this isn't the "source" of magic - that's Day 8!)
If you already answered this previously, feel free to go into more detail!
#writingcommunity #writesky
What is the central concept of your magic system? E.g. Elemental magic? Music magic? Name-based magic? Something else? (Note: this isn't the "source" of magic - that's Day 8!)
If you already answered this previously, feel free to go into more detail!
#writingcommunity #writesky
February 3, 2026 at 8:44 PM
All the magic in #Heliruna comes from an ancient curse. A group of women were accused of being witches and expelled from their homeland, so an actual witch took pity on them and granted their bloodline unnaturally long life and foresight, among other things, known as "The Cunning". #Febchantment
My Discord horror server turned one year old the other day. Neat.
Horror writers and fans join here:
discord.gg/gc5rYvjXhu
Horror writers and fans join here:
discord.gg/gc5rYvjXhu
Join the Hazel E. Baumgartner's Cryptid Club Discord Server!
Official fanclub for Hazel E. Baumgartner's horror novels, plus just horror in general. If it's spoopy, it goes here. Double check server rules and don't be a jerk. | 56 members
discord.gg
February 3, 2026 at 8:16 PM
My Discord horror server turned one year old the other day. Neat.
Horror writers and fans join here:
discord.gg/gc5rYvjXhu
Horror writers and fans join here:
discord.gg/gc5rYvjXhu
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
Harry Potter fan in 2026: yes the author is a Nazi with ties to Jeffrey Epstein but I don't see any of that when I buy my annual wand at the Wizarding World in Florida
February 1, 2026 at 7:50 PM
Harry Potter fan in 2026: yes the author is a Nazi with ties to Jeffrey Epstein but I don't see any of that when I buy my annual wand at the Wizarding World in Florida
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
Okay, so:
Wherefore = why. Wherefore didst thou eat that spider?
Wherefore 2.0 = therefore. He eateth spiders, wherefore I doubt him.
Whither = where you’re going. Whither flee the spiders?
Whence = where you came from. Whence cometh this swarm of flies?
Know your wheres, my spiderlings.
Wherefore = why. Wherefore didst thou eat that spider?
Wherefore 2.0 = therefore. He eateth spiders, wherefore I doubt him.
Whither = where you’re going. Whither flee the spiders?
Whence = where you came from. Whence cometh this swarm of flies?
Know your wheres, my spiderlings.
February 3, 2026 at 6:37 PM
Okay, so:
Wherefore = why. Wherefore didst thou eat that spider?
Wherefore 2.0 = therefore. He eateth spiders, wherefore I doubt him.
Whither = where you’re going. Whither flee the spiders?
Whence = where you came from. Whence cometh this swarm of flies?
Know your wheres, my spiderlings.
Wherefore = why. Wherefore didst thou eat that spider?
Wherefore 2.0 = therefore. He eateth spiders, wherefore I doubt him.
Whither = where you’re going. Whither flee the spiders?
Whence = where you came from. Whence cometh this swarm of flies?
Know your wheres, my spiderlings.
JK Rowling being in the Epstein Files is somehow not surprising to me at all.
if you live in the UK you might get sued if you say it
if you live everywhere else, lol JK straight up in direct contact with the kiddy diddling ring
if you live everywhere else, lol JK straight up in direct contact with the kiddy diddling ring
🤔 It’s definitely not suspicious at all to have people point out your common Twitter sign off is in the Epstein files and ten completely delete your yacht’s logs right?
February 3, 2026 at 5:38 PM
JK Rowling being in the Epstein Files is somehow not surprising to me at all.
Congress needs to investigate how Trump's net worth has ballooned from $1.1 billion to $7 billion in the past two years. Bribes? Hush money? Blatant theft? My guess is all of the above.
February 3, 2026 at 5:35 PM
Congress needs to investigate how Trump's net worth has ballooned from $1.1 billion to $7 billion in the past two years. Bribes? Hush money? Blatant theft? My guess is all of the above.
#WIPsnips
This is the closest snip I've released to the end of #Heliruna. This is from the third-to-last chapter, when Oma is giving Sabine what I like to call the "bad bitch talk", hyping her up for the final confrontation.
(Trying to include as much as I can in the snip without a major spoiler)
This is the closest snip I've released to the end of #Heliruna. This is from the third-to-last chapter, when Oma is giving Sabine what I like to call the "bad bitch talk", hyping her up for the final confrontation.
(Trying to include as much as I can in the snip without a major spoiler)
February 3, 2026 at 5:25 PM
There's an issue with "The Woods" on Amazon right now. For some people it's not showing up at all, others it's showing up at the wrong prices. I'm working on getting this fixed. It's an issue on Ingram Spark's end. Please standby.
February 3, 2026 at 5:20 PM
There's an issue with "The Woods" on Amazon right now. For some people it's not showing up at all, others it's showing up at the wrong prices. I'm working on getting this fixed. It's an issue on Ingram Spark's end. Please standby.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
My pinned post disappeared again so HI! If you like gorey monster stories, suspenseful mysteries, supernatural thrillers, cryptid horror, and books where the killer in the woods is a metaphor for grief, you should check out my debut novel, "The Woods: A Horror Novel", out now!
a.co/d/6dTmubc
a.co/d/6dTmubc
August 19, 2025 at 6:05 AM
My pinned post disappeared again so HI! If you like gorey monster stories, suspenseful mysteries, supernatural thrillers, cryptid horror, and books where the killer in the woods is a metaphor for grief, you should check out my debut novel, "The Woods: A Horror Novel", out now!
a.co/d/6dTmubc
a.co/d/6dTmubc
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
Not that I'm stopping promotion for "The Woods" obviously, but since 2026 is *hopefully* the release year for #Heliruna, I'm changing my profile banner to this. #hypehypehypehypehype #HazelsWritingAnotherNovel
January 13, 2026 at 2:41 AM
Not that I'm stopping promotion for "The Woods" obviously, but since 2026 is *hopefully* the release year for #Heliruna, I'm changing my profile banner to this. #hypehypehypehypehype #HazelsWritingAnotherNovel
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
Looking for your next book? Do you love Dark Shadows, the Universal Pictures monsters, or thirsty disaster lesbians? Do you want to run dramatically down stone steps carrying a candelabra, looking beautiful and ethereal?
Might I recommend ... me?
books2read.com/SOR1
Might I recommend ... me?
books2read.com/SOR1
January 28, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Looking for your next book? Do you love Dark Shadows, the Universal Pictures monsters, or thirsty disaster lesbians? Do you want to run dramatically down stone steps carrying a candelabra, looking beautiful and ethereal?
Might I recommend ... me?
books2read.com/SOR1
Might I recommend ... me?
books2read.com/SOR1
I'm beginning to reach the conclusion that a system which allows hundred-billionaires to accumulate such massive wealth that they can simply buy private islands where they function outside the rule of law is inherently flawed.
February 3, 2026 at 4:44 PM
I'm beginning to reach the conclusion that a system which allows hundred-billionaires to accumulate such massive wealth that they can simply buy private islands where they function outside the rule of law is inherently flawed.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
...horrifying message without context, thank you
February 2, 2026 at 10:42 AM
...horrifying message without context, thank you
"No, but see, I'm the *real* victim here. There's nobody that Neil Gaiman being a sex pest has hurt worst than good ol' Neil Gaiman."
Get fucked. Terry Pratchett would be ashamed to have called you his friend.
Get fucked. Terry Pratchett would be ashamed to have called you his friend.
February 3, 2026 at 2:47 AM
"No, but see, I'm the *real* victim here. There's nobody that Neil Gaiman being a sex pest has hurt worst than good ol' Neil Gaiman."
Get fucked. Terry Pratchett would be ashamed to have called you his friend.
Get fucked. Terry Pratchett would be ashamed to have called you his friend.
February 3, 2026 at 2:42 AM
There's functionally no difference between this guy doing this and ICE doing this if they don't wear badges and show their faces, btw. Why would you trust anyone pointing a firearm in your car and demanding to see proof that you're white?
A white man in Dillard, Oregon was arrested for stopping people on the freeway to demand at gunpoint that they tell him if they were citizens. He shot and missed one + attempted to get another in his truck to bring to police. Before his spree, he called local PD to complain about "foreign" people.
Defendant contacted police before freeway shooting
Charles Glen Simmons, 53, of Dillard, is in the Douglas County Jail on $1 million bail after Thursday morning’s alleged crime spree. According to a press release from the Oregon
www.nrtoday.com
February 3, 2026 at 12:52 AM
There's functionally no difference between this guy doing this and ICE doing this if they don't wear badges and show their faces, btw. Why would you trust anyone pointing a firearm in your car and demanding to see proof that you're white?
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
This isn't really my area of - um - concentration but I'm curious - if a sitting president poops his pants within the oval office, shouldn't the feces be preserved pursuant to the Presidential Records Act of 1978?
February 2, 2026 at 11:30 PM
This isn't really my area of - um - concentration but I'm curious - if a sitting president poops his pants within the oval office, shouldn't the feces be preserved pursuant to the Presidential Records Act of 1978?
Sounds like it's time to quit and get a real job if brutalizing your fellow Americans isn't worth doing unpaid.
ICE Employees Vent on Reddit, Saying They're Not Getting Paid and Still No Insurance Despite Promises
Staff claim promised bonuses and insurance have failed to materialise, with some reporting they cannot afford medical care for sick children
www.ibtimes.co.uk/ice-employee...
Staff claim promised bonuses and insurance have failed to materialise, with some reporting they cannot afford medical care for sick children
www.ibtimes.co.uk/ice-employee...
ICE employees on Reddit complain about late salaries and missing insurance, despite promises made upon hiring
ICE employees have reported delayed pay and missing health insurance on Reddit, while critics question how staff tolerate dangerous duties for little or no compensation.
www.ibtimes.co.uk
February 2, 2026 at 10:45 PM
Sounds like it's time to quit and get a real job if brutalizing your fellow Americans isn't worth doing unpaid.
This is literally a war crime btw.
From reddit, here's a picture of a gas cloud in Portland.
There's a school right by the ICE facility, btw, in case the "think of the children" party gives a shit.
Pets, wildlife, humans - gas harms everything.
There's a school right by the ICE facility, btw, in case the "think of the children" party gives a shit.
Pets, wildlife, humans - gas harms everything.
February 2, 2026 at 7:35 PM
This is literally a war crime btw.
#Heliruna is the first book I've written that includes magic and it's very much a soft magic system. The urban fantasy (or rather rural fantasy) vibes take a hard back seat to the horror vibes for sure.
#Febchantment Day 2
Do you have a "hard" or "soft" magic system?
In other words, does your magic system have strictly defined rules (think: Brandon Sanderson's books)? Or is it more undefined, mostly vibes/rule of cool (think: Gandalf from LOTR)? Somewhere in between?
#writingcommunity #writesky
Do you have a "hard" or "soft" magic system?
In other words, does your magic system have strictly defined rules (think: Brandon Sanderson's books)? Or is it more undefined, mostly vibes/rule of cool (think: Gandalf from LOTR)? Somewhere in between?
#writingcommunity #writesky
February 2, 2026 at 7:30 PM
#Heliruna is the first book I've written that includes magic and it's very much a soft magic system. The urban fantasy (or rather rural fantasy) vibes take a hard back seat to the horror vibes for sure.
This might unironically be one of the most "I never read the book" ad promotions I've ever seen. The entire plot of Jurassic Park happens because their systems go down during a cyberattack. Is Xfinity saying they're prone to cyberattacks that result in loss of human life?
February 2, 2026 at 6:53 PM
This might unironically be one of the most "I never read the book" ad promotions I've ever seen. The entire plot of Jurassic Park happens because their systems go down during a cyberattack. Is Xfinity saying they're prone to cyberattacks that result in loss of human life?
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
We're really not talking enough about the fact that Donald Trump raped a 13 year old girl and then murdered her baby to cover it up. Everything else that's going on right now is to cover up that fact.
January 26, 2026 at 7:48 PM
We're really not talking enough about the fact that Donald Trump raped a 13 year old girl and then murdered her baby to cover it up. Everything else that's going on right now is to cover up that fact.
Reposted by Hazel E. Baumgartner, Author of "The Woods"
i hate that i need to just like work and live and go on like nothing is wrong while a conspiracy grade group of rich monsters try to literally make our lives as hellish as possible to try to force us into sexual servitude
cool that's not damaging to our mental health and psyches at all
cool that's not damaging to our mental health and psyches at all
February 1, 2026 at 11:26 PM
i hate that i need to just like work and live and go on like nothing is wrong while a conspiracy grade group of rich monsters try to literally make our lives as hellish as possible to try to force us into sexual servitude
cool that's not damaging to our mental health and psyches at all
cool that's not damaging to our mental health and psyches at all