Jasper J. Jaspers
@jaspers47.bsky.social
Trying to reclaim the number 47. It's not going well.
Mostly movie opinions and lefty snark
https://letterboxd.com/ajaspers47/
Mostly movie opinions and lefty snark
https://letterboxd.com/ajaspers47/
Pinned
Jasper J. Jaspers
@jaspers47.bsky.social
· Jan 20
I apologize in advance to all y'all, I'm going to be spending the next four years Tweeting through this
Party one owns a toaster.
Party one moves in with Party two.
Party two also owns a toaster.
Two toasters are redundant, one is sold off.
The same amount of toast is made with 50% fewer toasters.
Replace toasters with human livelihoods.
This is why anti-trust laws are important.
Party one moves in with Party two.
Party two also owns a toaster.
Two toasters are redundant, one is sold off.
The same amount of toast is made with 50% fewer toasters.
Replace toasters with human livelihoods.
This is why anti-trust laws are important.
I have no doubt. Paramount will slash everything, because that's what Skydance did and adding an entire studio and TV company will only complicate that further. A PSKY->WB deal would be a bloodbath.
Warner Bros. Discovery says it's worried employees will quit if it picks Paramount's offer
Warner Bros. Discovery warns that employees could quit in droves if it accepts Paramount Skydance's offer over Netflix's bid.
www.businessinsider.com
February 17, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Party one owns a toaster.
Party one moves in with Party two.
Party two also owns a toaster.
Two toasters are redundant, one is sold off.
The same amount of toast is made with 50% fewer toasters.
Replace toasters with human livelihoods.
This is why anti-trust laws are important.
Party one moves in with Party two.
Party two also owns a toaster.
Two toasters are redundant, one is sold off.
The same amount of toast is made with 50% fewer toasters.
Replace toasters with human livelihoods.
This is why anti-trust laws are important.
Cheesecake is such a weird thing. Somebody took cream cheese, an incredibly fatty food, and decided to add a bunch of sugar. Then they doused graham crackers in butter and baked it.
Then some people decided it wasn't quite decadent enough, so they covered it in caramel, syrups, or cookie crumbs.
Then some people decided it wasn't quite decadent enough, so they covered it in caramel, syrups, or cookie crumbs.
February 13, 2026 at 7:14 AM
Cheesecake is such a weird thing. Somebody took cream cheese, an incredibly fatty food, and decided to add a bunch of sugar. Then they doused graham crackers in butter and baked it.
Then some people decided it wasn't quite decadent enough, so they covered it in caramel, syrups, or cookie crumbs.
Then some people decided it wasn't quite decadent enough, so they covered it in caramel, syrups, or cookie crumbs.
Jelly is more stable than this stupid market
A Korean bitcoin market intended to give away prizes worth ₩620,000 or about $425. Instead, they gave away 620,000 bitcoins worth roughly $40 BILLION at the time—despite not actually holding that many tokens. It’s a massive failure of crypto safety protocols. Now they’re asking for the coins back.
A Bitcoin Blunder for the Ages: $40 Billion Accidentally Given Away
A botched prize giveaway has landed a South Korean cryptocurrency exchange in hot water.
www.wsj.com
February 12, 2026 at 1:17 AM
Jelly is more stable than this stupid market
Bean counters found in 2014, Dr Oz gave proper medical advice just 46% of the time. 15% was flat-out wrong, and the remaining 39% seemed to have been completely made up.
When people say AI can do your job, they mean it can do *their* job, because they suck at it.
www.newsweek.com/researchers-...
When people say AI can do your job, they mean it can do *their* job, because they suck at it.
www.newsweek.com/researchers-...
February 10, 2026 at 4:32 PM
Bean counters found in 2014, Dr Oz gave proper medical advice just 46% of the time. 15% was flat-out wrong, and the remaining 39% seemed to have been completely made up.
When people say AI can do your job, they mean it can do *their* job, because they suck at it.
www.newsweek.com/researchers-...
When people say AI can do your job, they mean it can do *their* job, because they suck at it.
www.newsweek.com/researchers-...
Boom, right here. This is AI in a nutshell. It tells you it can do anything. It tells you you don't need to think. It tells you to trust it. Then it makes mistakes you learn to avoid in a 9th grade intro to HTML class.
The background image for their website is a 6MB PNG. It seems almost certain to me that serving this image is a significant portion of their outbound bandwidth for serving this. It's probably a non-trivial part of why their hosting got fucked.
February 9, 2026 at 4:17 AM
Boom, right here. This is AI in a nutshell. It tells you it can do anything. It tells you you don't need to think. It tells you to trust it. Then it makes mistakes you learn to avoid in a 9th grade intro to HTML class.
You know, hiring Ted Danson as a celebrity spokesman requires you to remember he played a demon who created a version of hell where everything seemed superficially okay but things were actually engineered to be aggravating and unnerving and tormenting in their own special way.
February 9, 2026 at 1:09 AM
You know, hiring Ted Danson as a celebrity spokesman requires you to remember he played a demon who created a version of hell where everything seemed superficially okay but things were actually engineered to be aggravating and unnerving and tormenting in their own special way.
Symbiotic relationship between people who give a fuck and people who enable fucking
At Whipple where expired dicks are being thrown at ICE vehicles and those believed to be agitators. The area has been a place of protest since thousands of federal agents arrived in the city.
Near Minneapolis February 7, 2026
Near Minneapolis February 7, 2026
February 8, 2026 at 4:19 AM
Symbiotic relationship between people who give a fuck and people who enable fucking
Patriotic sentiments aside, I'm still pissed off the racists are ruining a perfectly good number.
February 7, 2026 at 3:14 AM
Patriotic sentiments aside, I'm still pissed off the racists are ruining a perfectly good number.
Slam that like button. Break the nose of the bell icon. Turn the subscribe button into a vegetable for the last of its painfully agonizing days, until it begs for the sweet release of death, which you will not grant. And share with your followers.
February 6, 2026 at 2:47 AM
Slam that like button. Break the nose of the bell icon. Turn the subscribe button into a vegetable for the last of its painfully agonizing days, until it begs for the sweet release of death, which you will not grant. And share with your followers.
Book me on the Daily Show. I can be wildly unpopular for a fraction of the price.
Here's a sample: "You know things are bad when the only person to face repercussions for the Epstein Files was Dril."
Here's a sample: "You know things are bad when the only person to face repercussions for the Epstein Files was Dril."
Whitney Cummings, an anti woke reactionary who is fresh off a multi-month long crashout over criticism of her performing at the Riyadh Comedy Festival, got hired by the Daily Show to say Vote Blue No Matter Who??? What the hell is going on over there?
February 5, 2026 at 6:47 AM
Book me on the Daily Show. I can be wildly unpopular for a fraction of the price.
Here's a sample: "You know things are bad when the only person to face repercussions for the Epstein Files was Dril."
Here's a sample: "You know things are bad when the only person to face repercussions for the Epstein Files was Dril."
Neck and neck between "Don't Go Putting Wishes In My Head", "What's So Funny 'Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding", and "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor"
Deleted a post about “what’s your least favorite song” because the vibes are bad enough already.
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
Instead: what’s your favorite song that has a long title, say at least 6 words long?
Mine: “Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town” (Pearl Jam)
February 4, 2026 at 8:02 AM
Neck and neck between "Don't Go Putting Wishes In My Head", "What's So Funny 'Bout Peace, Love, and Understanding", and "I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor"
Right on. The guy who raised ticket prices despite unpopular rides, fewer amenities, and converted precious real estate into Instagram backdrop locations as an attraction is now in charge of the whole company.
Hey, did you know they greenlit a second Avatar park?
Hey, did you know they greenlit a second Avatar park?
It's official: Josh D’Amaro, who chairs Disney’s hugely successful parks division, will succeed Bob Iger as The Walt Disney Company’s next chief executive next month. www.cnn.com/2026/02/03/m...
Disney names parks boss Josh D’Amaro as new CEO to replace Bob Iger | CNN Business
Josh D’Amaro, who chairs Disney’s massively successful parks division, will succeed Bob Iger as The Walt Disney Company’s next chief executive.
www.cnn.com
February 3, 2026 at 3:36 PM
Right on. The guy who raised ticket prices despite unpopular rides, fewer amenities, and converted precious real estate into Instagram backdrop locations as an attraction is now in charge of the whole company.
Hey, did you know they greenlit a second Avatar park?
Hey, did you know they greenlit a second Avatar park?
Right now, I'm hesitant to talk up anybody famous. Regardless of politics or behavior. Not a good place to be during awards season.
Sorry, but after learning about Stephen Hawking, I'm not assuming anything about anyone.
Sorry, but after learning about Stephen Hawking, I'm not assuming anything about anyone.
February 2, 2026 at 6:04 AM
Right now, I'm hesitant to talk up anybody famous. Regardless of politics or behavior. Not a good place to be during awards season.
Sorry, but after learning about Stephen Hawking, I'm not assuming anything about anyone.
Sorry, but after learning about Stephen Hawking, I'm not assuming anything about anyone.
It's also being reported that the man who was ordered to "stop hitting (him)self" was not hitting himself, but his hand was being grasped by the taunter and forcibly propelled into the victim's own body
February 1, 2026 at 3:48 PM
It's also being reported that the man who was ordered to "stop hitting (him)self" was not hitting himself, but his hand was being grasped by the taunter and forcibly propelled into the victim's own body
The headline may make you facepalm, but it's just one subsection of an ongoing problem: Kids raised on short-form video have become adults, unable to live without the constant serotonin drip second-screening provides.
On a trend us film professors have seen. Free link to “The Film Students Who Can No Longer Sit Through Films” from THE ATLANTIC yesterday.
archive.ph/GFWzW
archive.ph/GFWzW
January 31, 2026 at 8:40 AM
The headline may make you facepalm, but it's just one subsection of an ongoing problem: Kids raised on short-form video have become adults, unable to live without the constant serotonin drip second-screening provides.
End, in the following order:
Fascism
The enabling of Fascism
Backronyms
Fascism
The enabling of Fascism
Backronyms
BREAKING: Local prosecutors around U.S. join forces to charge law-breaking federal agents
Fight Against Federal Overreach — dubbed “FAFO” — includes prosecutors from Minneapolis, Philly, Austin, and other cities.
Press conference set for 11am ET:
federaloverreach.org/announcement
Fight Against Federal Overreach — dubbed “FAFO” — includes prosecutors from Minneapolis, Philly, Austin, and other cities.
Press conference set for 11am ET:
federaloverreach.org/announcement
Fight Against Federal Overreach
The Fight Against Federal Overreach (FAFO) is a national coalition of District Attorneys collaborating to ensure federal officials are held accountable when they exceed their lawful authority.
federaloverreach.org
January 28, 2026 at 10:43 PM
End, in the following order:
Fascism
The enabling of Fascism
Backronyms
Fascism
The enabling of Fascism
Backronyms
Of course the movie Argo famously replaced efforts of the Canadian government with American because Hollywood's gonna Hollywood. It's still a good movie regardless.
But this version where America replaces Iran? I don't care for it.
But this version where America replaces Iran? I don't care for it.
Underneath it all, these folks are also just really fucking stupid.
January 28, 2026 at 2:58 PM
Of course the movie Argo famously replaced efforts of the Canadian government with American because Hollywood's gonna Hollywood. It's still a good movie regardless.
But this version where America replaces Iran? I don't care for it.
But this version where America replaces Iran? I don't care for it.
The decline of the TV theme song and the introduction of streaming's Skip Intro button both align with the popularity of the show True Blood, which featured among the imagery in its opening a maggot-infested decomposing animal corpse.
January 28, 2026 at 4:02 AM
The decline of the TV theme song and the introduction of streaming's Skip Intro button both align with the popularity of the show True Blood, which featured among the imagery in its opening a maggot-infested decomposing animal corpse.
World, we got lucky. There were losses, there were horrors, but Minneapolis persevered. They won this battle, but the war continues.
Learn the lessons: Do not stop watching. Do not stop recording. Do not grant your enemy respite. Do not stop helping each other.
Learn the lessons: Do not stop watching. Do not stop recording. Do not grant your enemy respite. Do not stop helping each other.
January 27, 2026 at 12:45 AM
World, we got lucky. There were losses, there were horrors, but Minneapolis persevered. They won this battle, but the war continues.
Learn the lessons: Do not stop watching. Do not stop recording. Do not grant your enemy respite. Do not stop helping each other.
Learn the lessons: Do not stop watching. Do not stop recording. Do not grant your enemy respite. Do not stop helping each other.
As the terrors continue, please try to find mild joy in the schadenfreude of these fuckers, raised on the pageantry and scare tactics of the third reich, getting screamed at by roomfuls of strangers in pom-pommed ski hats while trying to enjoy a cold enchilada plate
January 26, 2026 at 1:48 AM
As the terrors continue, please try to find mild joy in the schadenfreude of these fuckers, raised on the pageantry and scare tactics of the third reich, getting screamed at by roomfuls of strangers in pom-pommed ski hats while trying to enjoy a cold enchilada plate
We used to have a specific type of actor that we really don't see anymore
January 25, 2026 at 4:46 AM
We used to have a specific type of actor that we really don't see anymore
Know what? Too easy.
A massive pipe rupture has sent sewage spilling into the Potomac River. The spill of about 40 million gallons of sewage a day is turning part of the river gray upriver of Washington, D.C.
Massive sewage spill flowing into Potomac River upstream from Washington
A massive pipe rupture has sent sewage spilling into the Potomac River. The spill of about 40 million gallons of sewage a day is turning part of the river gray upriver of Washington, D.C.
bit.ly
January 24, 2026 at 8:26 AM
Know what? Too easy.
It doesn't get said enough: the most underappreciated people in society are grocery clerks the day before a snowstorm.
January 23, 2026 at 7:54 PM
It doesn't get said enough: the most underappreciated people in society are grocery clerks the day before a snowstorm.
It's not that I have strong opinions towards F1, and it's not that I'm upset about all these racing movies feeling somewhat interchangeable.
It's just that if F1 didn't get a Best Picture nomination, this would have been the first year I saw all the nominees before they were announced. So close.
It's just that if F1 didn't get a Best Picture nomination, this would have been the first year I saw all the nominees before they were announced. So close.
January 22, 2026 at 3:24 PM
It's not that I have strong opinions towards F1, and it's not that I'm upset about all these racing movies feeling somewhat interchangeable.
It's just that if F1 didn't get a Best Picture nomination, this would have been the first year I saw all the nominees before they were announced. So close.
It's just that if F1 didn't get a Best Picture nomination, this would have been the first year I saw all the nominees before they were announced. So close.
The Etsy witches are asleep at the switch
January 21, 2026 at 6:24 AM
The Etsy witches are asleep at the switch