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Quinston Timeclock

@jessefuchs.bsky.social

2.1K followers 960 following 9.9K posts

eminent snoopyologist @nyugamecenter.bsky.social

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · Feb 6

finally began work on my magnum opus of critical détournement, “1,000 Snoopy Butts”

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 3h

[beat drops] you-must-you-must-you-must-be another Handsome Boy graduate

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 4h

An underrated part is the game theory of self-disablement: it’s obvious to the casual observer that a protestor encased in an inflatable suit couldn’t assault anyone or damage property even if they wanted to.

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 5h

one of the great low-octane thrillers

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 13h

was it at least his version of “Make You Feel My Love” 😢

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 1d

“he’s crossed The Mendoza Line” does sound like something you’d say to another EMT

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 1d

Was my mom not bluffing. Does The Library of Congress actually have my permanent record.

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 1d

oh no

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 1d

that Weird Al managed to parody mid-80s James Brown in a way that you can post on Bluesky 40 years later without a moment’s hesitation really proves him our purest comedy soul

Reposted by Quinston Timeclock

Jacob Harris @jacobharr.is · 1d

And also this was just mind-blowing (about the difference between science fiction which ultimately treats the universe like a machine we can learn to master and how magic works in fiction)

scientific worldview, so I would argue that it's a science fiction story even if it is not consistent with the body of facts we currently have.

By contrast, magic implies a different understanding of how the universe works.
Magic is hard to define. A lot of people would say magic definitionally cannot have rules, and that's one popular way of looking at it. But I have a different take—I would say that magic is evidence that the universe knows you're a person. It's not that magic cannot have rules; it's that the rules are more like the patterns of human psychology or of interactions between people. Magic means that the universe is behaving not as a giant machine but as something that is aware of you as a person who is different from other people, and that people are different from things. At some level, the universe responds to your intentions in a way that the laws of physics as we understand them don't.

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 1d

Cart Life

Reposted by Quinston Timeclock

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · Feb 2

whoever at pitchfork decided on this section break/photo deserves a raise

end of a paragraph:

"The search is over. He heads back into the city's never ending winter drizzle, sockless."

Below is a picture of Bejar sitting, appearing to soberly ponder his socklessness

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

by that point Jack Benny was *definitely* lying about being 39 😡

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Reposted by Quinston Timeclock

Hannah Walser @hkpmw.bsky.social · 2d

It’s cartoon head trauma rules. One bonk with a coconut = amnesia; second bonk with a coconut = memory restored

Hannah Walser @hkpmw.bsky.social · 2d

The Cubs won the World Series right before all this started; maybe they need to win it again to …?

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

from The Onion:

Monk Gloats Over Yoga
Championship

Published: March 6, 1996
'I am the serenest!' he says

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

yes, God is less the player than the game designer in this formulation, which strikes me as good and accurate theology 😇

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

🙂

from the intro of Mark Ridley’s “The Cooperative Gene”:

Czech Republic) almost 150 years ago. Mendelian inheritance, it turns out, is designed to prevent selfishgenes from acts of subversion.
The genes only tolerate, in an evolutionary sense, the reduced chance of being passed on because the lucky genes are picked at random, as if by lot. It is a basic property of Mendelian inheritance that you cannot predict whether or not a particular gene will be passed on. If it could be predicted which genes were to live on in future generations, and which were to die, natural selection could never have brought complex life forms into exis-tence. The genes destined to die would have rebelled and the whole system would have collapsed. God may or may not play dice in the laws of physics and of chemistry. God did not need to play dice in the simple stages of biol-ogy, while life reproduced itself clonally. But the evolution of complex life required a mechanism of inheritance with an inherently random compo-nent. Somewhere between the bacteria and us—perhaps at about the stage of simple worms—God did have to start to play dice. Life started to use a randomizing system of inheritance, and all subsequent complex life forms have necessarily been built using the randomizing, Mendelian procedure to pass genes from parents to offspring.

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

please send him to america, we need him on the front lines

Mondo Mascots @mondomascots.bsky.social · 2d

Tama Kyoryu (dinosaur) is a mascot for the parks of Tama Hills, Tokyo. It has acorns for eyes, grass on its belly, and flowers and trees growing out of it.

A round green dinosaur character with acorn eyes stands in a park.

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

[totally sincerely, yet somehow the exact same cadence as Tracy Jordan talking about Dot Com] I saw that guy *become* Brendan Fraser in Monkeybone

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 2d

six dollars isn’t cool. you know what’s cool? seven dollars.

Reposted by Quinston Timeclock

Gretchen McCulloch @gretchenmcc.bsky.social · 3d

Higgledy piggledy
Timothée Chalamet
Has a name meriting
Endless design

Much like his forerunner
Benedict Cumberbatch:
Hexasyllabically,
Easy to rhyme

tweet from childish branzino @absflora:
timothée chalamet is the new benedict cumberbatch in the sense that you can say ANYTHING and we know who you mean. tiffany chevrolet. timpanogos charlemagne. symphony cabernet. jiminy castaway.

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 3d

@sotoalfred.bsky.social okay, see, now this just makes me suspicious

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 3d

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Jon Perry @perryjon.bsky.social · 3d

Lots of people appreciate the writing in Hot Streak -- the hilarious mascot backstories & the wacky fortunes. I just want to call out the talented person behind all of that: Sophie Abromowitz. IMO, her work really elevates the game. (She also named all the dogs in Spots, btw)

sophie-abromowitz.com

abromowitz website

Writer/comedian Dan Abromowitz's portfolio page. Clickhole, Someecards, Gawker, the New Yorker, McSweeney's, CollegeHumor, Funny Or Die.

sophie-abromowitz.com

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Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 3d

only 30 seconds in and the phrase “The Beavis Frequency” has permanently entered my vocabulary

Quinston Timeclock @jessefuchs.bsky.social · 3d

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