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Joachim Heijndermans

@jheijndermans.bsky.social

7K followers 3K following 12K posts

Writer, artist, filmmaker, designer, comic book letterer, SFWA member and collector of toys. He/him. https://linktr.ee/jheijndermans. http://www.joachimheijndermans.com

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · Apr 30

Presenting: the Beautiful Beasts imprint, a series of erotic horror, science fiction and fantasy novellas by author Joachim Heijndermans. Each a self contained story of lust with monsters ranging from the fantastical, the macabre and the eldritch.
Books 1, 2 and 3 are out now!
Art Man Carot

Cover to return the rose, the first Beautiful Beasts book. Colored in monochrome purple, a large beast with a lion-like face and stag antlers embraces a partially undressed woman with long flowing hair. She clutches onto his antlers, wistfully looking at her lover, the beast.

Cover to Cove of the Fisherman's wife. Colored in monochrome blue, a Japanese woman looks upon the encroaching octopus arms. Her yukata is partially removed, as a lone tear runs down her cheek.

Cover to Beautiful Beasts 3, The Nightstalker’s Mark, by Joahim Heijndermans. Two women coated in a red colored hue hold each other in embrace, looking at one another. One a short haired blind woman with a tank top. The other is a vampiric creature who is nude, her ears pointed and the pupils in her eyes are narrow slits like those of a serpent. Her open mouth reveals a set of fangs, her intent implied to be nefarious.
The title of the book is colored with a yellow gradient, with the ‘M’ in Mark similar to a set of fangs. Small dots of Braille writing repeat the title, a reference to the one woman’s blindness.

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1h

Monster High has gotten very intricate

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1h

My dutch ass nearly met its end several times thinking I could just bike anywhere as well as taking the car.

I actually managed just fine distance wise. It was car drivers who were determined to kill me...including a teacher of mine.

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1h

Not to be mean...but that looks like one of those gift games that people will be polite about recieving, then chuck into a closet to collect dust and then donate to a charity in lieu of money.

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 4h

I'm………gonna need to sell a lot more books, I think.

A box with a toy beside it of an Alien themed monster high barbie toy, with an elongated head and tail

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 4h

She's gorgeous!!!

Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans

Shimaira ⛥ @shimaira.com · 1d

I keep forgetting: there's still an ebook sale going on! 50% off 🤘
You can grab MY LORD for just $2 on itch, kobo, smashwords & kindle 😁

So if you're looking for some queer gothic goodness this spooky month, why not check this out? 🏰
mylord.shimaira.com

~
🖤📚😱🌈📚💙📢📚🌍🌶️📚🩸🌈💜
#DiscountBooks

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 5h

If you see this QRP with a game that released the year you were born.

My wife has this game in her collection.

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 15h

Reminder that the itch sale is still going strong. Go get ALL these books at a bargain price!!!

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 2d

The Under-rated books bundle on Itch, hosted by @chiefwritesbook.bsky.social is now live. That is more than 60(!!!) books from over 40 authors, including 2 of my short story collections. Find the bundle here: itch.io/b/3305/under...

Banner that reads itch.io under rated bundle oct 9th -13th bringing attention to the best books you've never heard of. A plethora of books surround the title

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 15h

Its a good one! Watched it when I began my initial outline for my cancelled werewolf novella.

The book is good too!

Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans

Winton Kidd 🔞 @wintonkidd.com · 16h

Stoked about #hardcover2025 (not just because I'm in it) but because it pays 90% of its profits back to the artists that contribute to it. That never happens. It's incredibly cool, check it out.🩷

🔞 #hardcover | NOW LIVE ON KS! @hardcoverart.com · 19h

We are LIVE! Tell your friends! :)
www.kickstarter.com/projects/har...

#hardcover2025 | art for adults 18+ | Retro

The fifth book of the series. This time with the topic: Retro!

www.kickstarter.com

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 17h

Oooh!!

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 17h

Shit, I've been working on drawing the hair-raising comic I wrote during your pandemic comics school, but had to put it down for a bit. No time to read, so I'll draw that instead!

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 17h

Candy company: "New! Sour candy with pickle flavor!!!"

Me, whose sense of smell and taste is mostly non-existent: "Mmmm, sugar flavor..."

Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans

Chief (T.C. Smith) || comms open! @chiefwritesbook.bsky.social · 1d

In case you saw earlier and forgot about it (looking at you, fellow ADHDers), there's still plenty of time to grab the ADHD bundle! 22 books featuring ADHD rep by mostly ADHD authors! You know you want it:

itch.io/b/3300/adhd-...

#BookSky 🩵📚 📢📚 📦📚

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 18h

And in time, it'll just devolve into "sou snow snothing, Snow Snow."

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 18h

I love your colors on these! Very atmospheric.

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 19h

Ygritte: "You know nothing, Jon Snow!"

*three days later*

Ygritte thoughts: *You should've gone with 'you snow nothing'*

Ygritte: "fuck!"

a woman with red hair wearing a fur coat is smiling

Alt: a woman with red hair wearing a fur coat is smiling

media.tenor.com

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 23h

In my experience, sex doesn't change billionaires from their awful ways.
Sex couldnt even change Scrooge McDuck.

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Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans

Chief (T.C. Smith) || comms open! @chiefwritesbook.bsky.social · 1d

We all like indie books here yeah? Good news! We have a mega bundle of relatively unknown indie books that deserve more readers! You can get the whole thing for just $38:

itch.io/b/3305/under...

#BookSky 🩵📚 📢📚 📦📚

A graphic featuring some of the books in the under-rated books bundle, surrounding some text in the middle. Text reads: "itch.io under-rated bundle. oct 9th to 13th. bringing attention to the best books you've never heard of." two rows of five stars can be seen above and below the text.

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

Im still shocked it took this long to be diagnosed with ADHD. I just assumed i was a latent delinquent when I just played paper Mario rather than prep.

a cartoon character with a question mark in a room

Alt: a cartoon character with a question mark in a room

media.tenor.com

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

Someone on a monsterfucker group I frequent said they'd be open to smash with Smaug.

That is just wrong. Thats too far.

I mean...being intimate with a billionaire who stole all his wealth from hardworking folks?

We have standards in this house.

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

Finished an animated pitch as part of my final assignment the night before it was due without sleeping, then bulshitted my way through the presentation. I passed and graduated.

Dane 🔜 NYCC AA L-34 @monkeyminion.com · 2d

I wrote a 15 page report on heraldic symbolism in medieval armor and weapon design for my art history class the night before it was due (8am class). Made up 90% of it (only found one book for reference) and got an A. GenAI could fucking never.

wrote 20 pages on Faulkner's The Bear four hours before final papers were due on trucker pills and coffee and cigarettes and got an A, fuck you.
You people couldn't hang with real slackers.
finn
wokeupchic • 4d
It's fuck Al till your homework due in 25 minutes

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

Who the hell ever thought Cash wasn't cool?

Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

At my current rate, 1 novella a year. Mostly because I work 40hrs a week. Write when i can, which isnt always doable.

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Joachim Heijndermans @jheijndermans.bsky.social · 1d

"When in Rome, do as the Romans do!"

The visigoths proceed to plunder, pillage, burn and enslave the locals.

Roman dude: "Well, not like THAT!"

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