Joachim Heijndermans
@jheijndermans.bsky.social
Writer, artist, filmmaker, designer, comic book letterer, SFWA member and collector of toys. He/him. https://linktr.ee/jheijndermans.
http://www.joachimheijndermans.com
http://www.joachimheijndermans.com
Pinned
Presenting: the Beautiful Beasts imprint, a series of erotic horror, science fiction and fantasy novellas by author Joachim Heijndermans. Each a self contained story of lust with monsters ranging from the fantastical, the macabre and the eldritch.
Books 1, 2 and 3 are out now!
Art Man Carot
Books 1, 2 and 3 are out now!
Art Man Carot
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
It kill’s me to essentially beg on here, but I need help & not sure what to do. New job starts very soon & don’t have appropriate clothing or gas money. Been trying all avenues to cover costs and am so fucking stressed out. If anyone can help at all I would be so damn grateful.
ko-fi.com/skelvren
ko-fi.com/skelvren
Support skelvren
Support skelvren
ko-fi.com
November 25, 2025 at 10:08 PM
It kill’s me to essentially beg on here, but I need help & not sure what to do. New job starts very soon & don’t have appropriate clothing or gas money. Been trying all avenues to cover costs and am so fucking stressed out. If anyone can help at all I would be so damn grateful.
ko-fi.com/skelvren
ko-fi.com/skelvren
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
heyyyyy besties so it's looking like people have been buying Learn to Howl and the Company of Wolves which is great but, uh........well you see it's a trilogy, Baying the Moon is the middle bit 🐺
please buy and rate my books so scammers stop putting the descriptions into an LLM and emailing me about it!
LEARN TO HOWL is a complete trilogy about family, identity, and kicking ass as a fucking werewolf
books2read.com/learntohowl/
books2read.com/BayingtheMoon
books2read.com/CompanyofWol...
LEARN TO HOWL is a complete trilogy about family, identity, and kicking ass as a fucking werewolf
books2read.com/learntohowl/
books2read.com/BayingtheMoon
books2read.com/CompanyofWol...
November 25, 2025 at 9:07 PM
heyyyyy besties so it's looking like people have been buying Learn to Howl and the Company of Wolves which is great but, uh........well you see it's a trilogy, Baying the Moon is the middle bit 🐺
Pam Gier movie?
Pam Grier movie.
Tonights watch: Foxy Brown
Pam Grier movie.
Tonights watch: Foxy Brown
a green background with a red silhouette of a woman dancing
Alt: a green background with a red silhouette of a woman dancing
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 8:46 PM
Pam Gier movie?
Pam Grier movie.
Tonights watch: Foxy Brown
Pam Grier movie.
Tonights watch: Foxy Brown
@uglybyproxy.bsky.social makes great premade covers, so authors, do yourself a favor and give the sale a peek!!!
Here's my Black Friday/Cyber Monday deal, except it starts NOW
33% Off all premade book covers in my gallery!
Fabledbeastdesign.myportfolio.com
33% Off all premade book covers in my gallery!
Fabledbeastdesign.myportfolio.com
Fabled Beast Design
Fabledbeastdesign.myportfolio.com
November 25, 2025 at 6:41 PM
@uglybyproxy.bsky.social makes great premade covers, so authors, do yourself a favor and give the sale a peek!!!
Submitted a thing. Please clap.
The more sarcastic, the better.
The more sarcastic, the better.
two men are standing next to each other in a room . one of the men is wearing a yellow glove .
Alt: three men are standing next to each other in a room . one of the men is wearing yellow gloves and claps sarcastically.
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Submitted a thing. Please clap.
The more sarcastic, the better.
The more sarcastic, the better.
I love how I have several deadlines for short fiction looming over me, so I instead write the thing I came up with leaving the supermarket.
I am my worst enemy.
I am my worst enemy.
November 25, 2025 at 4:49 PM
I love how I have several deadlines for short fiction looming over me, so I instead write the thing I came up with leaving the supermarket.
I am my worst enemy.
I am my worst enemy.
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
When the Moon Hits Your Eye is in the final round for the Goodreads Choice Award, in the category of science fiction! If EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU would go vote for it, I would appreciate that, although if there's another finalist you prefer, okay, vote for that one:
www.goodreads.com/choiceawards...
www.goodreads.com/choiceawards...
Final Round: Vote for the Readers' Favorite Science Fiction of 2025!
Discover the Readers' Favorite Science Fiction in the 2025 Goodreads Choice Awards.
www.goodreads.com
November 25, 2025 at 4:45 PM
When the Moon Hits Your Eye is in the final round for the Goodreads Choice Award, in the category of science fiction! If EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU would go vote for it, I would appreciate that, although if there's another finalist you prefer, okay, vote for that one:
www.goodreads.com/choiceawards...
www.goodreads.com/choiceawards...
Opened the file for my first novel attempt, before a hard drive crash knocked the wind out of my sails.
At 20k words, that's not too shabby of a start though. If I could only write chapter by chapter, rather than jumping around, it would've been done years ago.
Dare me to finish it?
At 20k words, that's not too shabby of a start though. If I could only write chapter by chapter, rather than jumping around, it would've been done years ago.
Dare me to finish it?
November 25, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Opened the file for my first novel attempt, before a hard drive crash knocked the wind out of my sails.
At 20k words, that's not too shabby of a start though. If I could only write chapter by chapter, rather than jumping around, it would've been done years ago.
Dare me to finish it?
At 20k words, that's not too shabby of a start though. If I could only write chapter by chapter, rather than jumping around, it would've been done years ago.
Dare me to finish it?
Huh, so storytel, the audiobook platform, uses AI in their ads.
So no guarantee they also dont make AI generated audiobooks...
Pity.
So no guarantee they also dont make AI generated audiobooks...
Pity.
November 25, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Huh, so storytel, the audiobook platform, uses AI in their ads.
So no guarantee they also dont make AI generated audiobooks...
Pity.
So no guarantee they also dont make AI generated audiobooks...
Pity.
AI generated gambling ads.
Scorch the earth wile encouraging the downtrodden to go even deeper into the hole.
This is hell.
Scorch the earth wile encouraging the downtrodden to go even deeper into the hole.
This is hell.
November 25, 2025 at 12:53 PM
AI generated gambling ads.
Scorch the earth wile encouraging the downtrodden to go even deeper into the hole.
This is hell.
Scorch the earth wile encouraging the downtrodden to go even deeper into the hole.
This is hell.
Quote with your art with horns!
Oh, Christmas time is upon us again!
Oh, Christmas time is upon us again!
November 25, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Quote with your art with horns!
Oh, Christmas time is upon us again!
Oh, Christmas time is upon us again!
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
…
Oh, I am in GOOD HANDS!
…
Oh, I am in GOOD HANDS!
November 25, 2025 at 7:32 AM
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show you watched are trying to rescue you. Who’s coming to save you?
…
Oh, I am in GOOD HANDS!
…
Oh, I am in GOOD HANDS!
Introduce yourself with 4 spaceships
November 25, 2025 at 7:29 AM
Introduce yourself with 4 spaceships
You know, I don't think I'll ever understand peoples like for Boba Fett.
Was it a "you had to be there" thing? Because I doubt the Holiday special was THAT popular...
Was it a "you had to be there" thing? Because I doubt the Holiday special was THAT popular...
boba fett is standing in front of a window wearing a helmet .
Alt: boba fett is standing in front of a window wearing a helmet .
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 10:06 PM
You know, I don't think I'll ever understand peoples like for Boba Fett.
Was it a "you had to be there" thing? Because I doubt the Holiday special was THAT popular...
Was it a "you had to be there" thing? Because I doubt the Holiday special was THAT popular...
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
These kiddos would love to sign their first book for you!
If you missed the awesome STARDUST: The SUPER WIZARD crowd fund, it's packed with gonzo tales by wonderful creators like @allredmd.bsky.social @ffrancavilla.bsky.social @jeffparker.bsky.social & many more 💖
Ko-fi.com/jamesasmus/shop
If you missed the awesome STARDUST: The SUPER WIZARD crowd fund, it's packed with gonzo tales by wonderful creators like @allredmd.bsky.social @ffrancavilla.bsky.social @jeffparker.bsky.social & many more 💖
Ko-fi.com/jamesasmus/shop
November 24, 2025 at 6:25 PM
These kiddos would love to sign their first book for you!
If you missed the awesome STARDUST: The SUPER WIZARD crowd fund, it's packed with gonzo tales by wonderful creators like @allredmd.bsky.social @ffrancavilla.bsky.social @jeffparker.bsky.social & many more 💖
Ko-fi.com/jamesasmus/shop
If you missed the awesome STARDUST: The SUPER WIZARD crowd fund, it's packed with gonzo tales by wonderful creators like @allredmd.bsky.social @ffrancavilla.bsky.social @jeffparker.bsky.social & many more 💖
Ko-fi.com/jamesasmus/shop
Oh, I do love me a good spin on Santa!
![[Scene is JESUS sat behind a boss’s desk in his office on a cloud in HEAVEN]
1
JESUS [speaking into intercom]
Hi can you send in Saint Nicholas please
2
SANTA [entering in full Santa garb]:
Hi boss
JESUS:
Hi Nick
3
JESUS:
Listen - about this ‘my birthday’ thing...
SANTA:
Ohh not this again boss
4
JESUS:
Nick, it’s out of hand. *You’ve* got out of hand.
5
JESUS:
I mean when I hired you, you was all humble, hiding under windows, lobbing in dowries…
And now you’re like…
6
JESUS [gesturing disdainfully at Santa’s clothing]:
I mean - what’s this.
7
SANTA:
This is my get up! I’ve had this since the Coca Cola deal in the 30s
JESUS:
*That’s what I mean.*
8
JESUS:
You’ve just gone too -
SANTA:
Oh no, oh no -
9
SANTA:
Sorry boss but waaay back in the Reformation, right, Martin Luther said: “why don’t we have Jesus delivering the presents?”. And when he prayed to ask you, do you remember what you said? Eh?
10
SANTA:
You said: “I ain’t going back there”
11
SANTA:
If you wanna take over -
JESUS:
Oh yeah! Kids coming downstairs to find me resurrected in their living room going "I got you an Xbox"...
12
SANTA:
You’re just feeling threatened cos I’m doing a bloody good -
JESUS:
*WATCH IT NICK*.
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreiayhglimve4fbwilzyfjedpa56xwmjq4oriqqs62atkospprs6x5y@jpeg)
November 24, 2025 at 2:29 PM
Oh, I do love me a good spin on Santa!
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
Images from films starring Udo Kier - RIP
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
The Third Generation (1979)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
The Third Generation (1979)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
November 24, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Images from films starring Udo Kier - RIP
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
The Third Generation (1979)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
Flesh for Frankenstein (1973)
The Third Generation (1979)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
My friend showed me the Roadhouse remake.
So was Connor McGregor actually cast in that, or did he just show up on set and everyone was afraid to ask him to leave and they just worked around him?
So was Connor McGregor actually cast in that, or did he just show up on set and everyone was afraid to ask him to leave and they just worked around him?
November 24, 2025 at 10:22 AM
My friend showed me the Roadhouse remake.
So was Connor McGregor actually cast in that, or did he just show up on set and everyone was afraid to ask him to leave and they just worked around him?
So was Connor McGregor actually cast in that, or did he just show up on set and everyone was afraid to ask him to leave and they just worked around him?
Oh man, RIP Udo Kier.
a close up of a man 's face with the words " blood for dracula " above him
Alt: a close up of a man 's face with the words " blood for dracula " above him
media.tenor.com
November 24, 2025 at 9:54 AM
Oh man, RIP Udo Kier.
Sometimes, I'm just minding my own beez when I remember something inconsequential to me.
Anyway, Stemage, who did Metroid Metal that I listend way to much in high school, also did music for Steven Universe...
Anyway, Stemage, who did Metroid Metal that I listend way to much in high school, also did music for Steven Universe...
November 24, 2025 at 9:49 AM
Sometimes, I'm just minding my own beez when I remember something inconsequential to me.
Anyway, Stemage, who did Metroid Metal that I listend way to much in high school, also did music for Steven Universe...
Anyway, Stemage, who did Metroid Metal that I listend way to much in high school, also did music for Steven Universe...
Reposted by Joachim Heijndermans
August 21, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Spent most of my day putting unwanted books and toys on Vinted. Does anyone else use it, or is that strictly a European thing?
November 23, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Spent most of my day putting unwanted books and toys on Vinted. Does anyone else use it, or is that strictly a European thing?
Old unfinished piece of mine.
November 23, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Old unfinished piece of mine.
one of these days I gotta figure out how to get rid of all this old artwork of mine...
November 23, 2025 at 1:44 PM
one of these days I gotta figure out how to get rid of all this old artwork of mine...