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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6h

My biggest dream for my one wild and precious life is to someday water the infield dirt at Fenway with the big hose.

Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 12h

Trying to reconcile the part of me that would only ever bring a carryon for a 2-day trip with the part of me that's gonna pack everything I've ever owned for a 2-day trip

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 15h

Oh I love ah goo 🥹

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Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney

chira 🎋 @artofchira.bsky.social · Jun 1

whenever i encounter people who say they can't understand shakespeare verses I always send them this clip from the 2019 Shakespeare in the Park production of Much Ado About Nothing

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 1d

My toxic trait is I buy the airplane cookies at the store with my own money.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 1d

Oh no I just meant being misunderstood and ornery

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 1d

This is why I was wondering, because I'm the oldest (and only) girl but I don't take any of the responsibilities. I'm too busy fulfilling the middle child duties which are a lot of work.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

Yankees were a pleasure to hate watch this week 🙏🏻

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

Is an eldest daughter when the first-born child is a daughter or is it the first daughter of the siblings regardless of where she is in the birth order

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

Trying to explain to my 8-year-old gymnast that I can't do chin ups is so embarrassing. She's like "just pull yourself up?" and I'm like "I can't" and she's like "but just do it? Over and over again?"

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 2d

Was searching my Twitter profile for something I once said about bananas and am honestly astonished by how frequently I used to tweet about bananas.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 3d

I've been obsessively working on a writing project for the past two weeks, to the point where I have to actively drag myself away from it at times because I love this work so much, and I just fully do not understand people using AI to "create." You're... skipping the fun part? Like what's the POINT?

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 3d

I hope they sent him to rehab. Those withdrawal headaches are no joke.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

The devil's vitamins??

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

When we were in 7th grade my best friend Val took three Flintstones vitamins at once and I freaked out because I thought she was going to die from that.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 4d

It's 85° in October but fall is FIGHTING

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Every time there's a holiday or birthday or Mother's Day and my family asks what I want, I say all I want is one travel coffee mug that belongs to me and only me and nobody else is allowed to take it and immediately lose it. And they're like, "no, something REASONABLE."

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

The correct sport

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Gotta find the right sport

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

Two grandmothers sat behind me on the sidelines at soccer so I started to scooch over to let them slide forward and they said "No it's ok, we're just here for show. We're going to stay back here and chat."

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

My most dad-coded behavior is that if I see your lefthanded kid playing sports I'll say "ooh a lefty" approvingly.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 6d

My 5-year-old and her two friends are named Greta, June, and Pippy like they're going to wear big hats and eat scones and knit.

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 7d

Girl is just saying things

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Reposted by Kristen Mulrooney

tom @tomwalker.bsky.social · Jul 17

KOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag
RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag.
KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla
RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense.
KOKO: jealousy professor

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Kristen Mulrooney @kristenmulrooney.bsky.social · 7d

Took my 8-year-old to her yearly checkup and when the doctor offered a flu shot, she said "The flu isn't even going around, bruh" Yes queen do your OWN research 🫵 jk she got a flu shot

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