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mangobanjo.bsky.social
@mangobanjo.bsky.social
My mom was so hellbent on her children eating black eyed peas on new year's day for good luck that she would put black eyed peas in tootsie rolls for us like she was giving a pill to a dog
November 7, 2025 at 6:45 PM
Reposted
(wakes up hungover, two fingers on my monkeys paw curled) ah shit what did i do last night
November 6, 2025 at 2:32 PM
Me: I feel like expressing my desires is manipulative because someone might do something because I want it and not because they want it.

Therapist: ...

Therapist: Yeah we're going to work on that.
November 7, 2025 at 2:44 PM
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!!!!!!!!!!!!! go see guillermo del torro's frankenstein !!!!!!!! GO SEE GUILLERMO DEL TORRO'S FRANKENSTEIN !!!!!!!!!! G O S E E G U I L L E R M O D E L T O R R O ' S F R A N K E N S T E I N ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
November 4, 2025 at 1:31 AM
An extra hour of sleep for one day and then it is dark at 5pm. Somewhere, a monkey's paw curls
November 3, 2025 at 10:10 PM
Why is there only one brand of internal condoms in the US and why is it prescription only??? Yes I know the answer is misogyny but I'm upset
October 30, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Confusing the receptionist at the Dr.'s office by actually wanting to read the documents I'm signing and asking for a paper copy of the consent form that explicitly states that I can ask for a paper copy
October 27, 2025 at 12:30 PM
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Good. Even if this doesn’t work, it’s time to go on offense.

www.newsweek.com/jb-pritzker-...
JB Pritzker looking at prosecuting ICE agents in Chicago
Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker has suggested that state prosecutors might examine the conduct of ICE agents.
www.newsweek.com
October 14, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Rumi's poetry is like scripture to me
October 15, 2025 at 3:04 AM
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Life is either boredom or whipped cream. - Voltaire

The most fun thing about researching the history of whipped cream is discovering that for centuries before it became a topping, whipped cream WAS the dessert!

jamieschler.substack.com/p/creme-foue...
Crème Fouettée, Crème à la Chantilly
“It’s only whipped cream.”
jamieschler.substack.com
October 11, 2025 at 1:34 PM
I'm getting a divorce and my family and friends have come together to support me. I've never felt so loved in my life! How did I let myself be so lonely in my marriage for so long?
October 11, 2025 at 10:59 PM
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The lion does not concern himself with the midterm elections
October 10, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I'm getting a divorce and my MIL came over to support my STB Ex and went on a cleaning and organizing spree. I'm sleeping in the office and I brought my vibrator with me in a duffel bag. My MIL came in and organized away my duffel and left my vibrator out on the floor 🙃
October 10, 2025 at 1:40 PM
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Bored National Guard Goes Door To Door Asking If Chicagoans Have Any Order They Need Restored https://theonion.com/bored-national-guard-goes-door-to-door-asking-if-chicagoans-have-any-order-they-need-restored/
October 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
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Zach Bryan wrote an anti ICE song. officially declaring Woke 2 in full effect.
October 6, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I am going to get an A in Divorce which is both normal to want and possible to acheive
October 7, 2025 at 8:55 AM
Hey chat is it bad if the pharmacist asks me if I'm okay
October 3, 2025 at 5:33 PM
I don't want to be Pygmalion anymore
October 2, 2025 at 3:04 PM
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Turns out that it's confusing to my grandma to laugh & say "so true, bestie" when she bemoans that, in the tupperware draw, "you have loads of bottoms, but it's a trial to find tops".
September 24, 2025 at 4:14 PM
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I like Jimmy Kimmel. I really do. I have no issues with him.

I'm talking about something very different.

Kimmel was only suspended. But he's back now. Karen Attiah and all the other Black journalists are still fired.

Y'all do know how to fight, when you want to.

But you don't really want to. 🤷🏿‍♂️
September 23, 2025 at 11:55 AM
My mom won't go to New York City with me because she said she heard the whole city smells like weed
September 23, 2025 at 12:55 AM
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sorry, i'm not going to get negatively polarized into liking tylenol. i'm an advil girlie and always will be
September 22, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Said "Fuck" in front of my mom😔 In my defense I was driving in New England and I was using the part of my brain that stops me from cursing in front of my mom to keep us alive
September 20, 2025 at 1:30 PM
I hate it when a musician sings about their "darkness" or some shit and I'm thinking it's about being depressed but they're actually singing about Being Evil
September 20, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Won't anyone think of the husbands whose wives are too beautiful and horny? There should be a support group
September 19, 2025 at 4:43 AM