Keith Taylor
@mrkeithtaylor.bsky.social
Bestselling author of This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War: http://amzn.to/3O6xBWm
Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Denizen of Mongolia
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaak2agiw6iwg
Anti-Brexit and pro-Free Movement. Denizen of Mongolia
Posts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:7bv2ca3yawj662o7qxd5xyt7/feed/aaak2agiw6iwg
Pinned
Apropos of absolutely nothing at all, my novel This Is the Way the World Ends: an Oral History of the Zombie War contains lots of valuable tips to help you survive the collapse of society.
I mean... most of the tips are zombie related, but they're transferable.
www.amazon.com/This-Way-Wor...
I mean... most of the tips are zombie related, but they're transferable.
www.amazon.com/This-Way-Wor...
I genuinely do not understand how ‘drunk chaperone’ isn’t already a regular, taxable, respectable career. The money I’d have paid someone to slap the phone out of my hand on two occasions while I was dealing poorly with depression the past six weeks? Fuck. Seriously. All the money. I broke it.
November 28, 2025 at 6:31 PM
I genuinely do not understand how ‘drunk chaperone’ isn’t already a regular, taxable, respectable career. The money I’d have paid someone to slap the phone out of my hand on two occasions while I was dealing poorly with depression the past six weeks? Fuck. Seriously. All the money. I broke it.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
yeah i'm a cam girl (the cam is short for "camembert")
November 28, 2025 at 4:13 AM
yeah i'm a cam girl (the cam is short for "camembert")
Reposted by Keith Taylor
You really could just put a tight camera on John Candy with nothing but him and the driver's seat of a car in frame and then watch him almost wordlessly do five of the funniest minutes in the history of movies.
a man smoking a cigarette in a car with planes trains and automobiles on the bottom right
ALT: a man smoking a cigarette in a car with planes trains and automobiles on the bottom right
media.tenor.com
November 27, 2025 at 5:31 AM
You really could just put a tight camera on John Candy with nothing but him and the driver's seat of a car in frame and then watch him almost wordlessly do five of the funniest minutes in the history of movies.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
hittin my family with some new laughs this season. going to try out a single, loud “ha!” to start
November 25, 2025 at 11:40 PM
hittin my family with some new laughs this season. going to try out a single, loud “ha!” to start
Reposted by Keith Taylor
At my in-laws for Thanksgiving and it’s crystal clear I’m the strongest guy here. My wife has one uncle who played football but when I threw his walker over the stream behind their house, everyone agreed I can’t be stopped. Alpha.
November 26, 2025 at 12:32 AM
At my in-laws for Thanksgiving and it’s crystal clear I’m the strongest guy here. My wife has one uncle who played football but when I threw his walker over the stream behind their house, everyone agreed I can’t be stopped. Alpha.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
*pronounces tomatoes like comatose*
November 26, 2025 at 12:10 AM
*pronounces tomatoes like comatose*
I don’t want to count my chickens but after about 6 weeks of bleak depression, complete with uncontrollable sudden sobbing spells and some thoughts I never thought could belong in my head, I’ve awoken for the 2nd morning in a row feeling… pretty normal. Good, even. I really missed feeling like me.
November 26, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I don’t want to count my chickens but after about 6 weeks of bleak depression, complete with uncontrollable sudden sobbing spells and some thoughts I never thought could belong in my head, I’ve awoken for the 2nd morning in a row feeling… pretty normal. Good, even. I really missed feeling like me.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
crepuscular is the grossest word for something that isnt gross
November 25, 2025 at 9:51 PM
crepuscular is the grossest word for something that isnt gross
Reposted by Keith Taylor
It’s pronounced Christmas jifts
November 25, 2025 at 1:04 AM
It’s pronounced Christmas jifts
When I'm in charge, when you send a post/meme/reel to a friend via DM you'll receive a small electric shock to a sensitive area. Not enough to injure, but enough to hurt
I don't have the energy to politely respond with a laugh emoji any more. I hate this virtual Chinese water torture. Make it stop
I don't have the energy to politely respond with a laugh emoji any more. I hate this virtual Chinese water torture. Make it stop
November 25, 2025 at 1:15 PM
When I'm in charge, when you send a post/meme/reel to a friend via DM you'll receive a small electric shock to a sensitive area. Not enough to injure, but enough to hurt
I don't have the energy to politely respond with a laugh emoji any more. I hate this virtual Chinese water torture. Make it stop
I don't have the energy to politely respond with a laugh emoji any more. I hate this virtual Chinese water torture. Make it stop
Me at midnight last night: Well, I guess I'll crack open this new novel and read until I geeeeently driiiiift off to sleeeeeep. OK, page one...
Me at 7AM: OK, I finished the book. WHAT NOW, BRAIN?
Me at 7AM: OK, I finished the book. WHAT NOW, BRAIN?
November 25, 2025 at 11:23 AM
Me at midnight last night: Well, I guess I'll crack open this new novel and read until I geeeeently driiiiift off to sleeeeeep. OK, page one...
Me at 7AM: OK, I finished the book. WHAT NOW, BRAIN?
Me at 7AM: OK, I finished the book. WHAT NOW, BRAIN?
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Christmas budget: ditch loved ones, buy books for myself.
November 25, 2025 at 11:13 AM
Christmas budget: ditch loved ones, buy books for myself.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
November 25, 2025 at 2:11 AM
narrator: 50 years ago...
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
me: [nods] in 1945
narrator: in 1975...
me: what
I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but only because I'm not American and I'm not thankful
November 25, 2025 at 6:16 AM
I don't celebrate Thanksgiving, but only because I'm not American and I'm not thankful
Reposted by Keith Taylor
I am not a complex, multifaceted individual. I am essentially a sentient collection of three bad habits naked in a trench coat.
November 24, 2025 at 12:34 PM
I am not a complex, multifaceted individual. I am essentially a sentient collection of three bad habits naked in a trench coat.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Every day I wake up and give thanks for my health, my family, and for not being Cheryl Hines
November 23, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Every day I wake up and give thanks for my health, my family, and for not being Cheryl Hines
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
November 23, 2025 at 8:29 PM
Twitter accounts are based in Russia. BlueSky accounts are based in homes with, frankly, too many books, plants, obsolete cables, and pieces of rustic pottery, that could do with a bit of a tidying up, to be honest.
Every year I decide to grow my beard for the Mongolian winter, and every year I make it to around day five of not shaving before I HAVE TO GET THIS THING OFF MY FACE JESUS WEPT HOW DO YOU PSYCHOPATHS LIVE WITH THEM?
I'm assured this is just a phase.
I'm assured this is just a phase.
November 23, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Every year I decide to grow my beard for the Mongolian winter, and every year I make it to around day five of not shaving before I HAVE TO GET THIS THING OFF MY FACE JESUS WEPT HOW DO YOU PSYCHOPATHS LIVE WITH THEM?
I'm assured this is just a phase.
I'm assured this is just a phase.
Mooning over someone unattainable while also pretending I'm too busy to meet an outrageously beautiful young woman who does want to see me. Will removing my brain and whacking it a few times against a wall like a wet towel fix me?
November 23, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Mooning over someone unattainable while also pretending I'm too busy to meet an outrageously beautiful young woman who does want to see me. Will removing my brain and whacking it a few times against a wall like a wet towel fix me?
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Bell, tolling: This is for you
Me: I didn’t ask
Me: I didn’t ask
November 20, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Bell, tolling: This is for you
Me: I didn’t ask
Me: I didn’t ask
I ONLY GAINED TWO FUCKING POUNDS
NASA confirms Earth has a new 'mini moon' that will accompany us for the next 50 years
Astronomers detect the new quasi-satellite 2025 PN7, a small asteroid that will accompany Earth until 2083.
www.earth.com
November 20, 2025 at 12:27 PM
I ONLY GAINED TWO FUCKING POUNDS
Reposted by Keith Taylor
me as a Bluesky therapist: *showing you that @jcsalterego.bsky.social redirects to 'user not found'* You still believe Jerry is real? Better adjust your meds.
me as a Bluesky therapist: yea that's a certified flop ☹️
me as a Bluesky therapist: nobody cares
November 20, 2025 at 10:35 AM
me as a Bluesky therapist: *showing you that @jcsalterego.bsky.social redirects to 'user not found'* You still believe Jerry is real? Better adjust your meds.
Reposted by Keith Taylor
i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff
November 20, 2025 at 2:25 AM
i think if you want to have those disgusting LED headlights on your car, you should have to do a test where they blast you point blank with your own headlights and then you have 15 seconds to successfully complete some sort of vision-based task, and if you can't do it they push your car off a cliff
Reposted by Keith Taylor
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow
November 18, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow