Bird Lawyer
@realjoenathan.bsky.social
Native Scrantonian. Sloth advocate. Washington and Villanova Alum. Actual lawyer. Probably chaotic good.
Pinned
In a world of Brutuses, be a Casca.
If you're not making your own whipped cream by hand on Thanksgiving, what are you even doing?
November 28, 2025 at 5:30 AM
If you're not making your own whipped cream by hand on Thanksgiving, what are you even doing?
"...but the telling of the Christmas story would be incomplete without the story of the Process Server who arrived 12 days later bearing a cease-and-desist from Disney's legal department."
Pulling the most recent police log led me to once again see an incredible holiday decoration picture a cousin in Omaha sent me
November 27, 2025 at 3:11 AM
"...but the telling of the Christmas story would be incomplete without the story of the Process Server who arrived 12 days later bearing a cease-and-desist from Disney's legal department."
Oh, great. Looks like we're about to be inundated with ICE goons.
A 29-year-old man whose last known location was in Bellingham, Washington, has been identified as the suspect in today’s shootings, four senior law enforcement sources told NBC News.
www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...
29-year-old man identified as shooting suspect, sources say
A 29-year-old man whose last known location was in Bellingham, Washington, has been identified as the suspect in today’s shootings, four senior law enforcement
www.nbcnews.com
November 27, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Oh, great. Looks like we're about to be inundated with ICE goons.
This car is Scranton in a nutshell.
Also, if I'm not mistaken, that is the University of Scranton in the background from across the Joe Biden (nee, Central Scranton) Expressway, about a block from what was the only Krispy Kreme in town for a few decades.
Also, if I'm not mistaken, that is the University of Scranton in the background from across the Joe Biden (nee, Central Scranton) Expressway, about a block from what was the only Krispy Kreme in town for a few decades.
Was just looking through photos from Scranton, Pa. last year for something I'm working on and came across this one, guaranteed to cause aneurysms among a certain segment of the population.
November 26, 2025 at 6:30 PM
This car is Scranton in a nutshell.
Also, if I'm not mistaken, that is the University of Scranton in the background from across the Joe Biden (nee, Central Scranton) Expressway, about a block from what was the only Krispy Kreme in town for a few decades.
Also, if I'm not mistaken, that is the University of Scranton in the background from across the Joe Biden (nee, Central Scranton) Expressway, about a block from what was the only Krispy Kreme in town for a few decades.
Reposted by Bird Lawyer
Instead of cooking your turkey at 350°F for 4 hours, save some time by cooking it at 11,663,540°F for 1 second.
November 26, 2025 at 3:29 PM
Instead of cooking your turkey at 350°F for 4 hours, save some time by cooking it at 11,663,540°F for 1 second.
It still blows my mind that there's a 16,000-ft peak in Antarctica.
November 26, 2025 at 1:29 AM
It still blows my mind that there's a 16,000-ft peak in Antarctica.
How did this person get access to my internal dialogue...?
i am absolutely not doing fucking bedtime discourse, i am 45 years old, if you lecture me about what time i should be going to bed and waking up i will cram you into a cannon and shoot you into the sun myself
November 25, 2025 at 11:09 PM
How did this person get access to my internal dialogue...?
So this is a really interesting case I hope SCOTUS will take up. At first blush, it seems fairly similar to Wickard v. Filburn, except that due to the federal prohibition, there is no legal interstate market for cannabis...
www.marijuanamoment.net/supreme-cour...
www.marijuanamoment.net/supreme-cour...
Supreme Court Schedules Closed-Door Meeting To Discuss Marijuana Companies' Case Seeking To Overturn Federal Prohibition - Marijuana Moment
The U.S. Supreme Court has scheduled a closed-door meeting to discuss a case challenging the constitutionality of federal marijuana prohibition. After receiving briefs in support of the lawsuit from M...
www.marijuanamoment.net
November 25, 2025 at 6:41 PM
So this is a really interesting case I hope SCOTUS will take up. At first blush, it seems fairly similar to Wickard v. Filburn, except that due to the federal prohibition, there is no legal interstate market for cannabis...
www.marijuanamoment.net/supreme-cour...
www.marijuanamoment.net/supreme-cour...
Reposted by Bird Lawyer
maybe i am going insane
November 24, 2025 at 6:49 PM
maybe i am going insane
I rather like The Big Dark, but man it makes some people really cranky around these parts.
November 24, 2025 at 6:16 PM
I rather like The Big Dark, but man it makes some people really cranky around these parts.
Just using this opportunity to point out that the richest people in the world used to do things like found universities and make major endowments to worthy causes.
Everything about this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever seen
November 24, 2025 at 5:52 PM
Just using this opportunity to point out that the richest people in the world used to do things like found universities and make major endowments to worthy causes.
Reposted by Bird Lawyer
Guys UCLA just botched one of the funniest trick plays I’ve ever seen. Really hope someone posts it on here.
November 23, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Guys UCLA just botched one of the funniest trick plays I’ve ever seen. Really hope someone posts it on here.
Awfully Brave thing to say when Lanning's team has beaten exactly one currently-ranked team: No. 15 USC.
November 23, 2025 at 7:02 PM
Awfully Brave thing to say when Lanning's team has beaten exactly one currently-ranked team: No. 15 USC.
Fun fact: people are prone to blink more after lying.
Bessent: "You know the best way to bring your inflation rate down? Move from a blue state to a red state. Blue state inflation is half a percent higher."
November 23, 2025 at 6:47 PM
Fun fact: people are prone to blink more after lying.
It appears I'm smack in the middle of my "everyone needs a family lawyer referral" stage of life...
November 22, 2025 at 8:29 PM
It appears I'm smack in the middle of my "everyone needs a family lawyer referral" stage of life...
This is low-key the best comment on the MTG resignation
November 22, 2025 at 4:43 AM
This is low-key the best comment on the MTG resignation
He's been masturbating furiously - but unsuccessfully - to a photo of Goebbels.
Has anyone checked on Stephen Miller since the Mamdani meeting?
November 22, 2025 at 4:33 AM
He's been masturbating furiously - but unsuccessfully - to a photo of Goebbels.
What are the odds she timed it to celebrate the anniversary of having planted a pipe bomb at the DNC?
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she's resigning from Congress — effective January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 4:27 AM
What are the odds she timed it to celebrate the anniversary of having planted a pipe bomb at the DNC?
Reposted by Bird Lawyer
REPUBLICANS IN DISARRAY
November 22, 2025 at 2:34 AM
REPUBLICANS IN DISARRAY
My (speculative) theory on Mike Johnson: he's hiding a child sex scandal of his own, Trump knows about it, and is using it as leverage.
Hence his being elevated from a relatively obscure junior rep to Speaker of the House.
Hence his appearance of sheer panic at the Epstein vote in the Senate.
Hence his being elevated from a relatively obscure junior rep to Speaker of the House.
Hence his appearance of sheer panic at the Epstein vote in the Senate.
November 21, 2025 at 5:38 AM
My (speculative) theory on Mike Johnson: he's hiding a child sex scandal of his own, Trump knows about it, and is using it as leverage.
Hence his being elevated from a relatively obscure junior rep to Speaker of the House.
Hence his appearance of sheer panic at the Epstein vote in the Senate.
Hence his being elevated from a relatively obscure junior rep to Speaker of the House.
Hence his appearance of sheer panic at the Epstein vote in the Senate.
It's time to arrest the President.
November 21, 2025 at 3:43 AM
It's time to arrest the President.
Reposted by Bird Lawyer
Please stop prompting Grok so you can post its ludicrous responses. You're destroying the planet for lolz.
November 21, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Please stop prompting Grok so you can post its ludicrous responses. You're destroying the planet for lolz.
I was just wondering when Jamie Dimon was going to be named here...
EPSTEIN BOMBSHELL: my staff is releasing a new report showing JPMorgan Chase executives – all the way to the top – enabled Epstein's sex trafficking operation. You're going to want to read this.
Wyden Presses for Investigation Into JPMorgan Chase and Epstein
www.nytimes.com
November 20, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I was just wondering when Jamie Dimon was going to be named here...
The look on Crow's face watching her stumble all over herself at the end is classic
damn -- Jason Crow demolished Martha MacCallum to the point where she had to get extremely defensive before wrapping up the interview
November 20, 2025 at 3:52 PM
The look on Crow's face watching her stumble all over herself at the end is classic