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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️

@runnerlane.bsky.social

1.2K followers 760 following 3.2K posts

Run, bike, bourbon, coffee, dogs, and sometimes birds. Retired boat guy. Mina and Penny’s dad. The fact that you can only do a little is no excuse for doing nothing. - John LeCarré

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 54m

Charge!

a man with a beard is standing in front of a group of soldiers in uniform .

Alt: a man with a beard is standing in front of a group of soldiers in civil war uniform leading a charge and yelling bayonets

media.tenor.com

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1h

My running has been going through some shit the last two years, so this was a fun little test after working with a coach the last few months. Went out a little too fast, finished 25:22 (8:15 pace). Big confidence boost considering i was struggling to run 12 minute miles some days this summer.

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1h

Ran my first 5k in six years and I did not die. Cool cemetery course. Almost all grass, fun but slow. Definite cross country vibes.

A Strava map snapshot of a run course, it looks sort of like a comb with a lot of out and back legs through a cemetery.

Tombstones covered in ivy in a cemetery.

The boo-bird, official bird of the cemetery.

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 2h

Well earned my brother.

a cartoon cat is sleeping in a bed next to an alarm clock that shows the time as 4:20

Alt: a cartoon cat is sleeping in a bed next to an alarm clock that shows the time as 4:20

media.tenor.com

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 5h

It’s a 4pm race. It’s 2pm now. I probably need to start stretching/warmup now if I’m not going to break … everything.

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 5h

On a lark, I signed up for my first 5k since 2019.

This should be interesting.

a man in a white shirt and black shorts is standing on a field .

Alt: I think this is Jonah Hill from Superbad looking exhausted while running.

media.tenor.com

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 9h

“It’s a pastime … it’s not supposed to be exciting”

www.instagram.com/reel/DPmjLfv...

themichobrothers on Instagram: "#baseball #mlb #baseballplayer #mlbplayoffsView all 490 comments"

#baseball #mlb #baseballplayer #mlbplayoffs

www.instagram.com

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 18h

“Good night, Mariners. Good work. Sleep well. The Blue Jays will most likely kill you in the ALCS.”

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 18h

Need my ES dog after that.

a woman with a stethoscope sits on the floor with a small dog

Alt: Dr King from the Pitt with a stethoscope sits on the floor with a small dog

media.tenor.com

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 18h

Sir, there’s been a second Salmon Run.

Rubio telling Trump there’s been a second salmon run in the Mariners Tigers ALDS game.

Reposted by ☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️

Sickos Committee @sickoscommittee.org · 18h

TO THE 15TH

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 18h

It’s “My TV just asked if I’m still awake” o’clock.”

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 20h

If you go around the backside of the Lincoln Memorial and look across the bridge, you can spot the eternal flame on Kennedy’s grave. It’s a little thing, but cool to point out, and it would be a shame to block it (by the structure or lights). (Gift article)

wapo.st/4q40KV7p

Trump eyes a triumphal arch to mark America’s 250th anniversary

The arch would be constructed across from the Lincoln Memorial, on a small patch of federal land currently occupied by a traffic circle.

wapo.st

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 20h

Well, this sucks. O’Connor and Smartmouth were the two craft brewing pioneers here in Norfolk.

TL; DR A press release indicating that Smartmouth brewing in Norfolk is closing and will focus on their Virginia Beach location.

Most of the Full text: Brewing Co. Announces Closure of Original Brewery Location,
Focuses on Future at The Pilot House in Virginia Beach Norfolk, VA. Friday, September 10, 2025. After 13 years of serving the community, Smartmouth Brewing announces the difficult decision to close our Norfolk location. We don't have an exact closing date set, but it will be in late December. we focus our energy and passion on the Pilot House in Virginia Beach, where our brewery will continue to thrive.
Smartmouth's Pilot House remains open
"This was not an easy decision. Norfolk is where we started it all and it's been a great run," said Porter Hardy, President & Co-Founder. *We are proud of what we built here and are more grateful than I can express for all the support we've had from the community. I speak for our whole team when I say that it has been a privilege. Looking forward, we will sharpen our focus on the Virginia Beach location. Our commitment to great beer, great people, and our local roots hasn't changed-it's only getting stronger."
We still have a full slate of events and will be open, as normal, until the end of December. Please join us at our 13th Birthday this Saturday October 11; Dark Arts Festival on Friday, November 28; and Krampusnaught on Friday December 12 - or any other time - for a beer with neighbors and friends.
We also invite you to continue joining us at The Pilot House, where the story—and the beer-will go on.
Cheers,
Smartmouth Brewing Co.
PS - If anyone is interested in starting a brewery in Norfolk, we know of some equipment and a w. landlord, wink-wink.
老

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 22h

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

Josh Naylor of the Mariners covered in dirt after sliding into third base.

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Schrödinger’s Antifa:

A picture of the Schrodinger’s cat experiment The top picture shows a live cat with the caption “the left is a bunch of effete communist bedwetters and emasculated soy boys” and the bottom picture shows the dead cartoon cat with the caption “the left is a highly organized terrorist organization that can only be stopped by the efforts of the intelligence community and military.”

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Had a lovely time in Toronto a few years back, although you all were still salty about Mike Mussina (I wore his jersey).

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Young Capaldi could have done the Warren Zevon biopic.

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Delightfully schlocky horror movie if you haven’t seen “Lair of the White Worm.

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Gonna tell my kids this was Doctor Who.

A shaggy haired man in glasses playing the bagpipe.

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☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Goofball looking for gumballs.

A black dog with floppy ears poking her nose into the dispensing spout of a gumball machine filled with dog treats.

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

TBH I was just a little skeptical because we all know one of those “prayer warriors I need prayers for little Braxtyn so his sore throat heals before his t-ball game this weekend” types. theonion.com/dolly-parton...

Dolly Parton Shares Video Confirming Sister A Shit-Stirring Bitch

BRENTWOOD, TN—Taking to Instagram to address recent concerns from her fans, country music icon Dolly Parton shared a video Thursday in which she confirmed her sister is a shit-stirring bitch. “Hey y’a...

theonion.com

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Well at least one institution didn’t bend the knee today.

☠️ Texas Lanesaw Massacree ☠️ @runnerlane.bsky.social · 1d

Calm down Francois there’s no segment for jogging at the stoplight.

William B. Fuckley @opinionhaver.bsky.social · 1d

The bad kind of parasocial enemy to have is a stranger you hate because of their political posts. The good kind of parasocial enemy to have is a stranger you hate because they’re also on Strava and run in the little park by your apartment and log faster segments, eat shit Francois you motherfucker