Scarlet Meyer
@scarletkmeyer.bsky.social
400 year old shark occasionally coaxed back to society for comedy purposes.
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
HORATIO
Hamlet’s best friend and the comic relief. He’ll have a crush on Ophelia, but it’s imperative she never gives him the time of day. We’ll give him an off-putting hobby that will be repulsive to women, like reading, to solve this.
Hamlet’s best friend and the comic relief. He’ll have a crush on Ophelia, but it’s imperative she never gives him the time of day. We’ll give him an off-putting hobby that will be repulsive to women, like reading, to solve this.
Casting Notice for the Unaired CW Pilot Young Hamlet
SYNOPSIS High school is no picnic for anyone, but especially if you’re one of Shakespeare’s most iconic leading men. Hamlet might be the big man on...
buff.ly
December 10, 2025 at 1:30 PM
HORATIO
Hamlet’s best friend and the comic relief. He’ll have a crush on Ophelia, but it’s imperative she never gives him the time of day. We’ll give him an off-putting hobby that will be repulsive to women, like reading, to solve this.
Hamlet’s best friend and the comic relief. He’ll have a crush on Ophelia, but it’s imperative she never gives him the time of day. We’ll give him an off-putting hobby that will be repulsive to women, like reading, to solve this.
So excited to be included on this week’s Newsletter of Humorous Writing! If you haven’t already, subscribe! buttondown.com/humorouswrit...
December 11, 2025 at 5:01 PM
So excited to be included on this week’s Newsletter of Humorous Writing! If you haven’t already, subscribe! buttondown.com/humorouswrit...
Honestly thank god this site doesn’t have drafts. Some of my thoughts do not need to be saved for posterity
December 9, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Honestly thank god this site doesn’t have drafts. Some of my thoughts do not need to be saved for posterity
My husband claims I talk about Robert Moses too much but I need him to know all the weird NYC girlies have a Robert Moses rant locked and ready to go at all times
December 5, 2025 at 7:03 PM
My husband claims I talk about Robert Moses too much but I need him to know all the weird NYC girlies have a Robert Moses rant locked and ready to go at all times
I'm on @mcsweeneys.net today making your hs English teacher openly weep www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cas...
Casting Notice for the Unaired CW Pilot Young Hamlet
SYNOPSIS
High school is no picnic for anyone, but especially if you’re one of Shakespeare’s most iconic leading men. Hamlet might be the big man on...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 5, 2025 at 2:30 PM
I'm on @mcsweeneys.net today making your hs English teacher openly weep www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/cas...
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
It’s my birthday, so if you have a crush on me you are legally required to tell me.
November 21, 2025 at 1:10 PM
It’s my birthday, so if you have a crush on me you are legally required to tell me.
Did not realize they added lying to your constituents and betraying an entire country to the list of depression symptoms on the DSM
November 12, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Did not realize they added lying to your constituents and betraying an entire country to the list of depression symptoms on the DSM
Cannot believe we just let Dan Brown write a book titled “The Secret of Secrets”. This man must be stopped
November 11, 2025 at 8:20 PM
Cannot believe we just let Dan Brown write a book titled “The Secret of Secrets”. This man must be stopped
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
It's that time of year when Halloween decorations haven't all come down, and Christmas decorations are about to start going up. We're in...the Tim Burton Zone.
November 7, 2025 at 4:03 PM
It's that time of year when Halloween decorations haven't all come down, and Christmas decorations are about to start going up. We're in...the Tim Burton Zone.
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
As someone who thought they were going to cross the street in under 40 minutes I would like to issue a formal condemnation of the Brooklyn Marathon and all of it's participants. Go as fast as you like but we all know where you're running, straight into the arms of your lord and master Beelzebub
November 2, 2025 at 6:36 PM
As someone who thought they were going to cross the street in under 40 minutes I would like to issue a formal condemnation of the Brooklyn Marathon and all of it's participants. Go as fast as you like but we all know where you're running, straight into the arms of your lord and master Beelzebub
All my meanest Reductress headlines are autobiographical ✨
October 31, 2025 at 1:47 PM
All my meanest Reductress headlines are autobiographical ✨
Hocus Pocus (1993) kicks off because the main character has a crush on a goth chick which is beautiful, more movies should start this way
October 26, 2025 at 9:21 PM
Hocus Pocus (1993) kicks off because the main character has a crush on a goth chick which is beautiful, more movies should start this way
This is a hold over from surviving 90s diet/health food culture but I genuinely prefer popcorn with soy sauce/hot sauce on it instead of salt/butter
What foods do you love that you fully acknowledge make you a pervert for loving them?
October 7, 2025 at 9:15 PM
This is a hold over from surviving 90s diet/health food culture but I genuinely prefer popcorn with soy sauce/hot sauce on it instead of salt/butter
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
My husband was detained by ICE today
Juan Muñoz, an American citizen, father of 2, and local government official, was peacefully protesting w. other elected officials. He was assaulted and taken away
I have had zero contact or updates since
#SOS
@duckworth.senate.gov @durbin.senate.gov
Juan Muñoz, an American citizen, father of 2, and local government official, was peacefully protesting w. other elected officials. He was assaulted and taken away
I have had zero contact or updates since
#SOS
@duckworth.senate.gov @durbin.senate.gov
October 3, 2025 at 5:12 PM
My husband was detained by ICE today
Juan Muñoz, an American citizen, father of 2, and local government official, was peacefully protesting w. other elected officials. He was assaulted and taken away
I have had zero contact or updates since
#SOS
@duckworth.senate.gov @durbin.senate.gov
Juan Muñoz, an American citizen, father of 2, and local government official, was peacefully protesting w. other elected officials. He was assaulted and taken away
I have had zero contact or updates since
#SOS
@duckworth.senate.gov @durbin.senate.gov
Getting my car inspected and the waiting room TV is like BLASTING a day time soap so loud its impossible to tune out and its like i did not consent to this
October 3, 2025 at 5:54 PM
Getting my car inspected and the waiting room TV is like BLASTING a day time soap so loud its impossible to tune out and its like i did not consent to this
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
Five days ago, an ICE agent shoved a woman asking questions about the detention of her husband.
Today they attacked two journalists.
We cannot accept or normalize what has now become routine violence at 26 Federal Plaza. It has no place in our city.
Today they attacked two journalists.
We cannot accept or normalize what has now become routine violence at 26 Federal Plaza. It has no place in our city.
ICE agents assault amNewYork reporter at Federal Plaza immigration court; another journalist seriously injured after shove | amNewYork
ICE agents assaulted amNewYork's own Dean Moses, and allegedly attacked another journalist, on Tuesday morning as they were documenting the ongoing arrests of
www.amny.com
September 30, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Five days ago, an ICE agent shoved a woman asking questions about the detention of her husband.
Today they attacked two journalists.
We cannot accept or normalize what has now become routine violence at 26 Federal Plaza. It has no place in our city.
Today they attacked two journalists.
We cannot accept or normalize what has now become routine violence at 26 Federal Plaza. It has no place in our city.
“Your credit score changed” NO listen YOU CHANGED
September 30, 2025 at 1:49 PM
“Your credit score changed” NO listen YOU CHANGED
Guy on threads was like “free tampons? Whats next? Free clothes, water, soap, shelter, clothes?” And its like buddy you are soooooo close
September 10, 2025 at 6:03 PM
Guy on threads was like “free tampons? Whats next? Free clothes, water, soap, shelter, clothes?” And its like buddy you are soooooo close
(Nat King Cole voice) Undeliverable, thats what you are
September 10, 2025 at 4:43 PM
(Nat King Cole voice) Undeliverable, thats what you are
In today's newsletter we meet the most responsible of the Sailor Scouts
scrrltmyr.substack.com/p/s1-ep-8-is...
scrrltmyr.substack.com/p/s1-ep-8-is...
S1 Ep 8 Is the Girl Genius a Monster? The Brainwashing Cram School of Horror
(Sailor Mercury has entered the chat)
scrrltmyr.substack.com
September 9, 2025 at 3:41 PM
In today's newsletter we meet the most responsible of the Sailor Scouts
scrrltmyr.substack.com/p/s1-ep-8-is...
scrrltmyr.substack.com/p/s1-ep-8-is...
how I feel asking for the name of the person in the health insurance billing dept right before our phone call ends
September 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
how I feel asking for the name of the person in the health insurance billing dept right before our phone call ends
I guess I'll download another f&cking app. My phone is working pretty slow already and I'll definitely use this at least once™️
September 8, 2025 at 3:35 PM
I guess I'll download another f&cking app. My phone is working pretty slow already and I'll definitely use this at least once™️
Reposted by Scarlet Meyer
I'm looking for pitches for @MotherJones' print culture section, Mixed Media! These are ~2,000-word essays that combine reporting, cultural criticism, historical research, and/or personal narrative. More details in our pitch guidelines here: www.motherjones.com/contribute/w...
Freelance Writer Guidelines
www.motherjones.com
September 3, 2025 at 6:44 PM
I'm looking for pitches for @MotherJones' print culture section, Mixed Media! These are ~2,000-word essays that combine reporting, cultural criticism, historical research, and/or personal narrative. More details in our pitch guidelines here: www.motherjones.com/contribute/w...
A well meaning friend offered to get a portable charger because my phone is always dying and I had to explain I have several they’re just lost in different parts of my house and if I get a new one I will lose it too
September 3, 2025 at 2:22 PM
A well meaning friend offered to get a portable charger because my phone is always dying and I had to explain I have several they’re just lost in different parts of my house and if I get a new one I will lose it too