Kid Charlemagne
@smudgeboy99.bsky.social
Nice, funny-ish, a bit sweary (sorry, not fucking sorry). Ageing disgracefully. Cooking and eating, music (20th century), travel, reading, history, genealogy, photography, ex-archery, less political here than there (not much).
Yes, there's gas in the car!
Yes, there's gas in the car!
Reposted by Kid Charlemagne
Very proud of myself for resisting the temptation to correct an ordinary fellow BSkyer who got a sporting fact wrong. In the end, it's a dick move to correct a stranger for the hell of it, and it achieves nothing.
Of course I won't sleep a wink now . . .
Of course I won't sleep a wink now . . .
February 11, 2026 at 11:59 PM
Very proud of myself for resisting the temptation to correct an ordinary fellow BSkyer who got a sporting fact wrong. In the end, it's a dick move to correct a stranger for the hell of it, and it achieves nothing.
Of course I won't sleep a wink now . . .
Of course I won't sleep a wink now . . .
Reposted by Kid Charlemagne
Reform councillor who replaced colleague who stood down over racism allegations steps down and is revealed to be facing racism allegations. I wonder what qualities they are looking for in the next candidate?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Staffordshire Reform leader Chris Large faces council racism probe
Councillor Chris Large denies claims he wrote or endorsed racist comments on his TikTok account.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 11, 2026 at 3:21 PM
Reform councillor who replaced colleague who stood down over racism allegations steps down and is revealed to be facing racism allegations. I wonder what qualities they are looking for in the next candidate?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Hard to watch the #T20WorldCup on #Sky, because they seem to have fucked up their sound levels, so the PA at the ground is ear-splitting, while you can barely hear the commentators. Intensely annoying.
Even more so if they're doing it deliberately.
Even more so if they're doing it deliberately.
February 11, 2026 at 3:24 PM
Hard to watch the #T20WorldCup on #Sky, because they seem to have fucked up their sound levels, so the PA at the ground is ear-splitting, while you can barely hear the commentators. Intensely annoying.
Even more so if they're doing it deliberately.
Even more so if they're doing it deliberately.
For those asking "why would any manager want to go to #Tottenham", the answer is the guaranteed payout of their contract when they're inevitably sacked within the year.
February 11, 2026 at 1:57 PM
For those asking "why would any manager want to go to #Tottenham", the answer is the guaranteed payout of their contract when they're inevitably sacked within the year.
I doubt for a moment that it's any great conspiracy, but there doesn't seem to be a report on the #BBC website of Team GB's defeat in the Mixed Doubles Curling semi-final last night.
There's a link to 3 minutes of video - but is that it?
There's a link to 3 minutes of video - but is that it?
February 10, 2026 at 10:53 AM
I doubt for a moment that it's any great conspiracy, but there doesn't seem to be a report on the #BBC website of Team GB's defeat in the Mixed Doubles Curling semi-final last night.
There's a link to 3 minutes of video - but is that it?
There's a link to 3 minutes of video - but is that it?
Advert for the new Google Pixel phone:
"If your friend asks you a question and the answer's on your phone, shouldn't your phone just answer?"
Sounds to me like:
"Your friends don't need you. You don't need your friends. Your phone's smarter than you. Kill yourself, you worthless piece of shit."
"If your friend asks you a question and the answer's on your phone, shouldn't your phone just answer?"
Sounds to me like:
"Your friends don't need you. You don't need your friends. Your phone's smarter than you. Kill yourself, you worthless piece of shit."
February 9, 2026 at 8:53 PM
Advert for the new Google Pixel phone:
"If your friend asks you a question and the answer's on your phone, shouldn't your phone just answer?"
Sounds to me like:
"Your friends don't need you. You don't need your friends. Your phone's smarter than you. Kill yourself, you worthless piece of shit."
"If your friend asks you a question and the answer's on your phone, shouldn't your phone just answer?"
Sounds to me like:
"Your friends don't need you. You don't need your friends. Your phone's smarter than you. Kill yourself, you worthless piece of shit."
OK, fucking ENOUGH use of the word "sportsball".
We get it. You're too cool for sport. Sport's not worthy of your attention (although posting about how not worthy of your attention it is is vital). It's beneath you. You're above. You're superior, we sports fans are dumb.
Well done. You smug twats.
We get it. You're too cool for sport. Sport's not worthy of your attention (although posting about how not worthy of your attention it is is vital). It's beneath you. You're above. You're superior, we sports fans are dumb.
Well done. You smug twats.
February 9, 2026 at 8:42 PM
OK, fucking ENOUGH use of the word "sportsball".
We get it. You're too cool for sport. Sport's not worthy of your attention (although posting about how not worthy of your attention it is is vital). It's beneath you. You're above. You're superior, we sports fans are dumb.
Well done. You smug twats.
We get it. You're too cool for sport. Sport's not worthy of your attention (although posting about how not worthy of your attention it is is vital). It's beneath you. You're above. You're superior, we sports fans are dumb.
Well done. You smug twats.
Reposted by Kid Charlemagne
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
February 9, 2026 at 4:07 PM
U.K. might lose a prime minister because a guy who worked for him knew another guy who hung out with Epstein. Meanwhile the U.S. opposition party is telling our President, who was Epstein's best friend, that his secret police should get better training so their public street murders look less messy.
Email from lying shits #Evri:
"We tried to deliver your parcel today but you weren't in and there was nowhere safe to leave it."
- Well I WAS in - all day.
- And I have a designated safe space.
Phone John Lewis, they say Evri reported technical issues to them, so no delivery was attempted.
"We tried to deliver your parcel today but you weren't in and there was nowhere safe to leave it."
- Well I WAS in - all day.
- And I have a designated safe space.
Phone John Lewis, they say Evri reported technical issues to them, so no delivery was attempted.
February 9, 2026 at 4:39 PM
Email from lying shits #Evri:
"We tried to deliver your parcel today but you weren't in and there was nowhere safe to leave it."
- Well I WAS in - all day.
- And I have a designated safe space.
Phone John Lewis, they say Evri reported technical issues to them, so no delivery was attempted.
"We tried to deliver your parcel today but you weren't in and there was nowhere safe to leave it."
- Well I WAS in - all day.
- And I have a designated safe space.
Phone John Lewis, they say Evri reported technical issues to them, so no delivery was attempted.
Spent the morning practicing ways of repeating "Wow!" and "Oh my word!!" but with different inflections, and now I feel eminently qualified to be a colour-commentator on the BBC's coverage of the Big Air snowboarding. #WinterOlympics
February 9, 2026 at 2:21 PM
Spent the morning practicing ways of repeating "Wow!" and "Oh my word!!" but with different inflections, and now I feel eminently qualified to be a colour-commentator on the BBC's coverage of the Big Air snowboarding. #WinterOlympics
Don't know if conditions are getting more difficult, but there's some scary-looking crashes happening in the Women's freestyle slopestyle. #WinterOlympics
February 9, 2026 at 12:30 PM
Don't know if conditions are getting more difficult, but there's some scary-looking crashes happening in the Women's freestyle slopestyle. #WinterOlympics
I love how #Evri send me endless emails telling me when my parcel is arriving, but the driver always leaves the parcel outside the front door and NEVER EVER rings the bell, so it really doesn't matter if I'm in or not.
February 9, 2026 at 12:07 PM
I love how #Evri send me endless emails telling me when my parcel is arriving, but the driver always leaves the parcel outside the front door and NEVER EVER rings the bell, so it really doesn't matter if I'm in or not.
I now get my first taste of Bad Bunny . . .
February 9, 2026 at 1:19 AM
I now get my first taste of Bad Bunny . . .
There's no way you get three minutes of EXTRA added time within seven minutes of original added time.
After that, just fucking mayhem - the #VAR wonks are probably currently trying to work out how they can disallow City's penalty.
The absolute death of sense in football. #LIVvMCI
After that, just fucking mayhem - the #VAR wonks are probably currently trying to work out how they can disallow City's penalty.
The absolute death of sense in football. #LIVvMCI
February 8, 2026 at 6:32 PM
When Rodri was injured, #ManCity couldn't find a way to cope without him.
Since he's come back, he's not the player he was, and Man City STILL haven't sorted it out.
If Real Madrid are as interested as people say they are, I'd cash in at the end of the season.
Since he's come back, he's not the player he was, and Man City STILL haven't sorted it out.
If Real Madrid are as interested as people say they are, I'd cash in at the end of the season.
February 8, 2026 at 5:44 PM
When Rodri was injured, #ManCity couldn't find a way to cope without him.
Since he's come back, he's not the player he was, and Man City STILL haven't sorted it out.
If Real Madrid are as interested as people say they are, I'd cash in at the end of the season.
Since he's come back, he's not the player he was, and Man City STILL haven't sorted it out.
If Real Madrid are as interested as people say they are, I'd cash in at the end of the season.
Reposted by Kid Charlemagne
I do admire the skiing community and commentators refusing to say "banned" "doping" at all. Applies to more than one of these skiers.
My favourite two have been "unable to train with rest of team" and "time off she didn't choose".
My favourite two have been "unable to train with rest of team" and "time off she didn't choose".
February 8, 2026 at 11:56 AM
I do admire the skiing community and commentators refusing to say "banned" "doping" at all. Applies to more than one of these skiers.
My favourite two have been "unable to train with rest of team" and "time off she didn't choose".
My favourite two have been "unable to train with rest of team" and "time off she didn't choose".
Over the last 3 years, I've been making a list of all the things I intend to do in retirement - from the mundane to the challenging, to the extravagant - short, mid & long-term.
It runs to two double-sided A4 pages and at least 300 items.
I retired on Dec 31st - can I find the list? Can I fuck!
It runs to two double-sided A4 pages and at least 300 items.
I retired on Dec 31st - can I find the list? Can I fuck!
February 8, 2026 at 2:26 PM
Over the last 3 years, I've been making a list of all the things I intend to do in retirement - from the mundane to the challenging, to the extravagant - short, mid & long-term.
It runs to two double-sided A4 pages and at least 300 items.
I retired on Dec 31st - can I find the list? Can I fuck!
It runs to two double-sided A4 pages and at least 300 items.
I retired on Dec 31st - can I find the list? Can I fuck!
Oh please, non-sport-fan friends.
I love you all, but the "Superb Owl" thing is now as tedious as hearing "Sweet Caroline" every second over at the cricket.
I love you all, but the "Superb Owl" thing is now as tedious as hearing "Sweet Caroline" every second over at the cricket.
February 8, 2026 at 1:08 PM
Oh please, non-sport-fan friends.
I love you all, but the "Superb Owl" thing is now as tedious as hearing "Sweet Caroline" every second over at the cricket.
I love you all, but the "Superb Owl" thing is now as tedious as hearing "Sweet Caroline" every second over at the cricket.
Personally, I'd like to see Jack Doherty post the video entitled "I got my head kicked in for being an insufferable attention-seeking cunt"
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
Controversial YouTuber Jack Doherty barred from PGA Tour events after Phoenix Open disruption
Jack Doherty was escorted from the Phoenix Open after appearing to pay a fan to disrupt play, with a source saying he is barred from PGA Tour events for now
www.theguardian.com
February 8, 2026 at 1:05 PM
Personally, I'd like to see Jack Doherty post the video entitled "I got my head kicked in for being an insufferable attention-seeking cunt"
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...
Your reminder that a good 30% of Americans share it as well.
Your reminder that former KKK grand wizard David Duke said that he and Trump share the same message.
We see that vile message every day, including Trump's racist post about the Obamas.
Trump will never have half the class that the Obama's have. Not by a cold mile.
We see that vile message every day, including Trump's racist post about the Obamas.
Trump will never have half the class that the Obama's have. Not by a cold mile.
February 7, 2026 at 8:14 PM
Your reminder that a good 30% of Americans share it as well.