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Stew

@stewnami.bsky.social

2.2K followers 1.2K following 540 posts

Problem solver. Idiot. Co-host of Salty Language Podcast and The Crazy Life Podcast. https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:sdkxyw2r7xlx5kjhsolgagv6/feed/aaajoi7hhr6mi

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 14h

I like my women like I like my pro wrestling;
Still real to me, damnit!

Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 2d

The real friends were the farts we trusted along the way

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 3d

Drifting along aimlessly, like a ghost stuck on Earth

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 5d

Picasso depicted you perfectly

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 6d

Middle of the night half asleep peeing with the door open…

And the toilet lid down.

Dammit.

Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 6d

Two hearts, beating as one

Oh man, that blood is pumping waaay too fast!

*Chest explodes*

-Love

Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 9d

Big deal, I dropped an album today too.

Shattered into pieces, and I’m not trending on the internet

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 10d

FINALLY, it’s sweatpants with Juicy written across the ass season again!

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 12d

So accurate

Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 12d

I hate how songs I don’t like are twice as long as songs I do like

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Reposted by Stew

John Lyon @johnlyon.bsky.social · 12d

People who are nostalgic for the 80s have obviously forgotten how much Phil Collins we had to listen to.

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 19d

Apologies, but the rapture has been rescheduled as a pizza party in conference room B

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Stew @stewnami.bsky.social · 21d

If I told you that you have a cute knife, would you hold it against me?

Reposted by Stew

Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 21d

ME: *dies*
DEATH: Welcome to the afterlife.
ME: How do I get to Heaven?
DEATH: *points* Go up those stairs.
ME: What about Hell?
DEATH: *points* Go down those stairs.
ME: And Limbo?
DEATH: *points* Just duck under that bar.