🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
@jollyrobber.bsky.social
Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is and I ain't shit. (Not) New & (Certainly Not) Improved
bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search
My Musings
https://tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u
Best? Of
https://tinyurl.com/mry4284p
bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search
My Musings
https://tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u
Best? Of
https://tinyurl.com/mry4284p
Pinned
Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
A jumping spider has taken up residence in a corner in my living room and we are negotiating an amicable arrangement.
February 13, 2026 at 3:41 AM
A jumping spider has taken up residence in a corner in my living room and we are negotiating an amicable arrangement.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I just invited two former bedmates and one potential one to dinner.
Now we wait.
(None will show up but it’d be funny if they did and I made them all choose a weapon.)
Now we wait.
(None will show up but it’d be funny if they did and I made them all choose a weapon.)
February 14, 2026 at 8:28 PM
I just invited two former bedmates and one potential one to dinner.
Now we wait.
(None will show up but it’d be funny if they did and I made them all choose a weapon.)
Now we wait.
(None will show up but it’d be funny if they did and I made them all choose a weapon.)
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I sneezed and got a bit of snot in my cleavage.
Anyway… thought of you.
Anyway… thought of you.
February 14, 2026 at 3:31 AM
I sneezed and got a bit of snot in my cleavage.
Anyway… thought of you.
Anyway… thought of you.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
*scoots across the timeline dragging his ass like a dog*
February 15, 2026 at 6:00 AM
*scoots across the timeline dragging his ass like a dog*
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I did that thing she loves...took out the kitchen trash.
February 15, 2026 at 2:47 AM
I did that thing she loves...took out the kitchen trash.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Just think, someone out there heard these four words today:
"Your Uber is here."
And they say romance is dead...
"Your Uber is here."
And they say romance is dead...
February 15, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Just think, someone out there heard these four words today:
"Your Uber is here."
And they say romance is dead...
"Your Uber is here."
And they say romance is dead...
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
When in doubt, butthole.
February 15, 2026 at 8:04 PM
When in doubt, butthole.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Who up Finning they Huckleberry?
Who up Wuthering they Heights
Who up Scarletting they Letter
February 15, 2026 at 8:16 PM
Who up Finning they Huckleberry?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Who's up wrathing their grapes?
Who up Finning they Huckleberry?
Who up Wuthering they Heights
February 15, 2026 at 8:17 PM
Who's up wrathing their grapes?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
You make one Oedipus joke, and suddenly, you're sitting in HR.
February 15, 2026 at 11:36 PM
You make one Oedipus joke, and suddenly, you're sitting in HR.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Man online: “You’re old”
Me: how’s your micro penis?
Me: how’s your micro penis?
February 13, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Man online: “You’re old”
Me: how’s your micro penis?
Me: how’s your micro penis?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Happy Valentines Day♥️
(now you all have my V card)
(now you all have my V card)
February 14, 2026 at 5:48 PM
Happy Valentines Day♥️
(now you all have my V card)
(now you all have my V card)
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
“Can I come by?”
No.
No.
February 14, 2026 at 6:26 PM
“Can I come by?”
No.
No.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
when I die I’m coming back as a southern gothic character
February 14, 2026 at 6:33 PM
when I die I’m coming back as a southern gothic character
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I Almost Got Away With It but it’s just me farting in Marshalls
February 15, 2026 at 1:07 AM
I Almost Got Away With It but it’s just me farting in Marshalls
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
wishful shrinking
February 15, 2026 at 5:53 PM
wishful shrinking
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Can someone let me know how many Mondays we’re gonna have this week so I can be prepared
February 10, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Can someone let me know how many Mondays we’re gonna have this week so I can be prepared
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Do I really need four boxes of girl scout cookies? Yes I do and if you say otherwise you’re a cop
February 15, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Do I really need four boxes of girl scout cookies? Yes I do and if you say otherwise you’re a cop
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Ok if you have my voodoo doll can you maybe chill for a little bit
February 15, 2026 at 6:15 PM
Ok if you have my voodoo doll can you maybe chill for a little bit
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
When you’re 43 you get unreasonably excited about having one of your favorite flavors of coffee again after not having it for a while
February 15, 2026 at 1:09 PM
When you’re 43 you get unreasonably excited about having one of your favorite flavors of coffee again after not having it for a while
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I got flowers from two people today and I don’t legally have to tell you if they were my kids
February 15, 2026 at 2:24 AM
I got flowers from two people today and I don’t legally have to tell you if they were my kids
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
My sanity belongs to a world I am no longer acquainted with.
February 15, 2026 at 5:03 PM
My sanity belongs to a world I am no longer acquainted with.