🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
@jollyrobber.bsky.social
Thoughts from the dark side of a married man. It is what it is and I ain't shit. (Not) New & (Certainly Not) Improved
bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search
My Musings
https://tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u
Best? Of
https://tinyurl.com/mry4284p
bsky.app/profile/jollyrobber.bsky.social/search
My Musings
https://tinyurl.com/2p9ruj7u
Best? Of
https://tinyurl.com/mry4284p
Pinned
Hell yes I'm recycling all my tweets on Bluesky. Why should I come up with new garbage when I already have this garbage?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Saw Michael Stipe in a rental car. He was singing "Everybody Hertz."
February 12, 2026 at 10:49 PM
Saw Michael Stipe in a rental car. He was singing "Everybody Hertz."
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
February 12, 2026 at 2:41 PM
[office canteen]
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
coworker: I hope you don’t mind but I used your mug as mine’s dirty
me: of course not, and I’m sure you don’t mind that as my wife has a headache I used yours instead
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
mfer forgot the word humidifier and asked if the air wetter was on
February 13, 2026 at 2:11 AM
mfer forgot the word humidifier and asked if the air wetter was on
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
all of my posts today were supposed to be drafts. imagine my surprise.
February 10, 2026 at 12:14 PM
all of my posts today were supposed to be drafts. imagine my surprise.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
we could have cat toilets if not for big litter
February 7, 2026 at 6:43 PM
we could have cat toilets if not for big litter
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
good news, despite the poor ratings the network execs green-lit another season of my posts
February 8, 2026 at 2:59 AM
good news, despite the poor ratings the network execs green-lit another season of my posts
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
why doesn’t anyone talk about Sundae Sundays
February 8, 2026 at 6:27 PM
why doesn’t anyone talk about Sundae Sundays
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
“Thank you for your payment” go to hell
February 9, 2026 at 12:14 AM
“Thank you for your payment” go to hell
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
(banging gavel in parliament) my friends should not be allowed to go to bed before me
February 10, 2026 at 2:02 AM
(banging gavel in parliament) my friends should not be allowed to go to bed before me
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
wacky inflatable arm guys took my job
February 12, 2026 at 12:43 AM
wacky inflatable arm guys took my job
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I'm so tired of caring what assholes think
February 12, 2026 at 4:26 AM
I'm so tired of caring what assholes think
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I've been on a two-week canoeing trip with people who sang the same three songs and one of them got the lyrics wrong every single time so I am not afraid of hell
February 13, 2026 at 2:28 AM
I've been on a two-week canoeing trip with people who sang the same three songs and one of them got the lyrics wrong every single time so I am not afraid of hell
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
My culinary skills include not burning cocktails.
February 2, 2026 at 11:57 PM
My culinary skills include not burning cocktails.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I forgot what I was saying mid-sentence just to be mysterious.
February 3, 2026 at 9:52 PM
I forgot what I was saying mid-sentence just to be mysterious.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
My insecurities go back so far, they come with wood paneling.
February 5, 2026 at 4:14 PM
My insecurities go back so far, they come with wood paneling.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
February 5, 2026 at 10:46 PM
I was cut from a different, less absorbent, cloth.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
“”No worries,” I say pulling my Burger King crown down over my eyes.
February 10, 2026 at 9:26 PM
“”No worries,” I say pulling my Burger King crown down over my eyes.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Sometimes people come into your life, and that’s got to stop.
February 11, 2026 at 7:17 PM
Sometimes people come into your life, and that’s got to stop.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
I need a “stop doing that” list
February 11, 2026 at 9:24 PM
I need a “stop doing that” list
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
You give me a corner piece of cake and then wonder where my clothes went?
February 13, 2026 at 1:54 AM
You give me a corner piece of cake and then wonder where my clothes went?
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Is the person hanging on sitting on the couch? Greg is fucking yolked and a bit of a playboy 🏆👑 Congratulations @gregthemiller.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
hang on i have an idea (drags couch into the shower)
February 11, 2026 at 3:44 AM
Is the person hanging on sitting on the couch? Greg is fucking yolked and a bit of a playboy 🏆👑 Congratulations @gregthemiller.bsky.social from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
The battles we have that we didn’t pick are the hardest to win.
February 2, 2026 at 12:05 PM
The battles we have that we didn’t pick are the hardest to win.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Having a personality disorder isn’t for the weak.
February 2, 2026 at 12:05 PM
Having a personality disorder isn’t for the weak.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
A tidy house doesn’t equal a tidy mind, a decluttered house equals a decluttered mind, momentarily of course.
February 2, 2026 at 11:06 PM
A tidy house doesn’t equal a tidy mind, a decluttered house equals a decluttered mind, momentarily of course.
Reposted by 🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
Being a shell of yourself is better than being full of yourself.
February 10, 2026 at 10:08 AM
Being a shell of yourself is better than being full of yourself.