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Wristy

@wristroom.bsky.social

1.2K followers 730 following 2.9K posts

He/him. Probably autistic. check out my skeets below Random: https://tinyurl.com/ycxabsnk Best: https://tinyurl.com/ys6vscup recent: https://tinyurl.com/yc32n87e

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · May 7

I threw away a permanent marker the other day. Today it showed up on my desk again with the word "permanent" slightly bigger and underlined

Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 1h

a worm hanging by a thread surrounded by a layer of what looks like snot in a cave

Reposted by Wristy

Queen RanDumb @invisihole.bsky.social · 5h

My guidance counselor laughed when I said I wanted to be a shitposter. Well guess who's laughing now...

Still him bc that's dumb as shit.

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Uncle Duke @uncleduke1969.bsky.social · 2h

some say it’s art, some say it’s not

Golden lamp in the shape of a nose with a bulb hanging from the right nostril.

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trickyNOtreat 🎃 @trickykat.bsky.social · 2h

real shitposters only use lower case because we are anti-capitalism

Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 2h

If you need an alternative to marinated tofu, you should definitely try steak

Reposted by Wristy

Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Jun 27

Pilot: *over intercom* Folks, ever wake up with a feeling of dread? Like something bad is going to happen? Idk, probably nothing. Anyway, let’s get this bird in the air

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Jul 12

Asked my dog if he wanted to go walkies and he said that the sun doth bleed behind a sullen cloud as silence stalks the fields in funeral shroud, which is a fair point

Reposted by Wristy

Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Aug 1

[in the back of a police car] are you guys mad at me?

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Aug 20

007: Bond, James Bond

Barman: What are you having, Mr Bond?

007: Whiskey, neat whiskey

Barman: Rough day?

007: Rough, very rough

Barman: *eyes narrow* Are you okay?

007: Depressed, clinically depressed

Reposted by Wristy

Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · Aug 26

[Second day as a Kamikaze pilot]

Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second, Bryn?

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · 20d

Noah: *designing the Ark* I’ll need a big room for poop

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · 11d

The only real fact we can definitely says is true about the Tyrannosaurus Rex is that they were not huggers

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Brynnester @brynnester.bsky.social · 5d

Me: *thinking to myself after someone wrongs me* You made an inconsequential and powerless enemy today my friend

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Not JPo @notjpo.bsky.social · Apr 29

I’m starting an all-races-welcome supremacy group. We just get together to talk shit about New Jersey

Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 21h

a baby yoda from the mandalorian is giving the middle finger .

ALT: a baby yoda from the mandalorian is giving the middle finger .

media.tenor.com

Reposted by Wristy

ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 2d

If exercise is so good for me then why does it make all my stuff so sore? Seems like a scam

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 2d

Doing squats to make my ass extra big so more people can kiss it

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

Not to brag, but I’ve been called “strange and off-putting” by someone on a dating app before

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

I love it when I make eye contact with my cat and he starts purring 🥰😻

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ficklenuts has a pair of normal entiddies 👻 @ficklenuts.bsky.social · 1d

[making grocery list]

Me: looks like I need to get bread

Ducks: 👀
My bank account: 🤑
Perverts: 😈

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weeder @weeder.bsky.social · 1d

Fremen stillsuit but it makes coffee from your pee?

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𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 @unfitz.bsky.social · 1d

My “beauty sleep” would have to be a lengthy coma.

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Rob DenBleyker @robdenbleyker.com · 1d

I'm in Missouri! I hope Mister ouri doesn't come home from work early

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Jack @wakeupangry.bsky.social · 1d

Soft secession sounds like me a minute after sex.

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d.ly @dly.bsky.social · Apr 20

it’s normal to call your friends “mommy” and “daddy” once they have kids, idk what you’re talking about