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Wristy

@wristroom.bsky.social

1.2K followers 730 following 2.9K posts

He/him. Probably autistic. check out my skeets below Random: https://tinyurl.com/ycxabsnk Best: https://tinyurl.com/ys6vscup recent: https://tinyurl.com/yc32n87e

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · May 7

I threw away a permanent marker the other day. Today it showed up on my desk again with the word "permanent" slightly bigger and underlined

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 9h

A new game called the legend of link, where the main character is zelda

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · May 30

TV cop: "enhances" an image in a reflection from a kettle on a stove to catch the perp

Real cop: accidentally deletes the evidence and blames IT

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 12d

me: the fire will die down once the sausages are cooked...

mall security: I understand, sir, but you can’t stay here

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 27d

I just realised I AM the final boss. Unfortunately my special move appears to be "forgetting why i came into this room"

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · Aug 28

If you're being literal, a vulva really is a frontline

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 2d

Note to self:

Try to remember to stop forgetting things

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 1d

Ahh the pitter-patter of tiny feet

- pulls another leg off a millipede

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 20h

where did the scoobydoo villains get so many latex masks? some of them lived in very remote places

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 19h

I think one of the most surprising things about the history of the 2020s is how much of our culture is based on how much we can make our cakes look like other things

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 20h

A lo, when His Majesty did command that the royal scribe should make five copies, the scribe did shriek "paper jam" and smote his own quill upon the table. Then did he beep three times and demand new ink, though the inkwell was full to the brim

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

who is the williest wonka?

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Los 🥑 @los-los.bsky.social · Apr 6

Picked up some progressive glasses today and a lifted truck with exhaust pipes in the bed followed me around.

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 13h

this explains everything

Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

At least you haven't got conservatives

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

who is the williest wonka?

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

he made me both near and far sighted so i assume he wants me to do nothing

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

always looking for the silver lining

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The Bearminator @the-bearminator.bsky.social · 18h

There's freedom in not having to maintain standards.

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Reverie 💀🕯️ @augustreverie.bsky.social · 6d

Boy, if we were seahorses, I would get you *so pregnant*

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Wristy @wristroom.bsky.social · 15h

wait how many do you HAVE? surely not enough to fill a bag??

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𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠 @ironlilacc.bsky.social · 17d

Passing off my picked scabs as beef jerky for Halloween this year

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stuforreal.bsky.social @stuforreal.bsky.social · 16h

You say menacing aura like it's a bad thing

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spleenly @spleenly.bsky.social · 16h

Babe, when the doctor said nothing by mouth after midnight I'm sure he didn't mean this.

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🦇 Parilani Pie @parilani.sparkle.blue · 15h

officer: *about to pat me down* have any weapons on ur person?

me: oh just THESE *pulling my hands out of my pockets and doing an impressive karate chop*

officer: oh shit that was an impressive karate chop

me: right??? they're deadly

officer: *unholstering gun* they're what

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𝔏𝔦𝔩𝔞𝔠 @ironlilacc.bsky.social · 2d

Yeah you suck up that mess you love getting that filth inside you.
*me vacuuming*

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