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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻

@thecrowpost.bsky.social

210 followers 260 following 1.2K posts

She/they Artist Graphic Designer ADHD I love making lists The Crow Post delivers the following news: -Shit posts and Puns galore -Song recommendations -Chronic illness humor -My art -The Onion reposts -Etc No Kings No Queens Happy Halloween🎃

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 7d

You can do anything as long as you’re willing to try it over and over and over again

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 6h

Why would I use a nail clipper when I have perfectly good teeth?

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 6h

I don’t know who needs to hear this

But you’re charging your vibrator too quickly

Let her rest

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 7h

All aboard

Constipation Station

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 8h

Are you gonna duplicate every single chili recipe and submit then all to get everyone disparities for chili plagiarism?

Or are you going to combine every recipe into one super chili recipe to defeat all others?

Both seem like solid strategy

Reposted by 🎃The Haunted Bird House👻

coupon for poupon @couponforpoupon.bsky.social · 9h

Boycott the entire state of Texas until they call their guard troops back to Texas.

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 9h

Would you rather live on a big ass peach or a big ass pumpkin?

Jame’s rules apply in both scenarios

Reposted by 🎃The Haunted Bird House👻

AMGF @sushisiren.bsky.social · 10h

SSSSSNAKETUARY!!!! SSSSSSSSSNAKETUARY!!!!!!!

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 14h

Diet Coke is for people who would be into heroine but decided, ultimately it was probably better to have other vices

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 17h

Also this message is not for people making beautiful things by hand. Art is more than capitalism

There’s some line between farce and finery that’s kinda nebulous

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 17h

Just so you all know towels are just bath mats

🛀🏼🧽🫧🧼

And not to bring capitalism into this

But the entire bath mat industry is a fabricated market sold to people via the advertising industry

A Gif of a white guy excitedly stepping up a stack of cornflower blueish towels

A smidge creepy

Pretty silly

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 17h

Reposted by 🎃The Haunted Bird House👻

🎃 Enterprise D-EEZ NUTS (Spooky Drive, Engaged) 🎃 @enterprisedeez.bsky.social · 22h

Homunculus ass dweebs, every single one

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 19h

Megadeath

But not like the rocking and rolling kind

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 19h

Sarcasm will surely be my downfall

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 21h

The things we do to eat something with flavor when the teeth aren’t teething

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 22h

The Slurry™️

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 22h

Have you tried being in less pain all the time?

I highly recommend it

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 23h

Thanks:)❤️

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

I didn’t like my Halloween costume (bio banner) so I changed it a little bit

A banner with a deep sort of burgundy purple. On it is written ‘The Crow Post’ written out all big and title like

The black lettering is emanating a neon green glow that lightly outlines each letter

Bright purplish pink goo is oozing down each letter. Dripping I tell you

In the bottom left corner of the banner is a purple pumpkin with a twirly stem and a lighter, lavender colored gourd

In the bottom right corner is a thick, solitary purple candle, sitting atop a candle stand made of a tree branch wrapped in vines

And finally in the top right hand corner is a little ghost with a little grin that makes it look kinda like he’s laughing at you

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

In the winter once it gets cold out you can just pretend to smoke and it still works

Reposted by 🎃The Haunted Bird House👻

Nappy DOOMlemite @nappydolemite.bsky.social · 1d

So... Is there an Uncle Oxidants?

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

True. Just start your new little society under the og post. Then we’re all in the same folder haha

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

What’s more flattering?

A straight repost or a slightly less funny than your og post quote post?

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🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

Yesterday I saw a paper bag on the side of the road while driving

Almost looked like it could have had something in it

And I did nothing

Noootthing

Now I’ll never know whether that bag was littered garbage or concealing a severed hand

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

Ahh yes I see

lol thank you tor the lesson🙏🏼

🎃The Haunted Bird House👻 @thecrowpost.bsky.social · 1d

I’m having a hillbilly fall

open.spotify.com/track/76dJYf...

Bang Your Mullet (Southern Style Mix)

open.spotify.com