The Birds The Turtles and The Bees
@turtlebee.bsky.social
Going through my bird phase in a big way.
People who talk shit about pie being second rate have never had good pie.
It's got to be ripe fruit (something far too many people have never had) and the crust has got to be good (meaning lots of butter). And it can't taste like cornstarch.
It's got to be ripe fruit (something far too many people have never had) and the crust has got to be good (meaning lots of butter). And it can't taste like cornstarch.
November 25, 2025 at 9:27 PM
People who talk shit about pie being second rate have never had good pie.
It's got to be ripe fruit (something far too many people have never had) and the crust has got to be good (meaning lots of butter). And it can't taste like cornstarch.
It's got to be ripe fruit (something far too many people have never had) and the crust has got to be good (meaning lots of butter). And it can't taste like cornstarch.
And we're inventing a time machine to do it.
November 25, 2025 at 8:16 PM
And we're inventing a time machine to do it.
Goddamnit this headline made me do a whole little improv song and dance... when I only thought my partner had already left the house.
Sex cardigans: can the Wicked sequel make bulky knits strangely alluring?
Sex cardigans: can the Wicked sequel make bulky knits strangely alluring?
It’s not the sexiest of garments. It arguably looks more like a discarded fishing net. And yet it has cast a spell over the internet
www.theguardian.com
November 25, 2025 at 7:38 PM
Goddamnit this headline made me do a whole little improv song and dance... when I only thought my partner had already left the house.
She is absolutely refusing to get on hands tonight. 🪶
November 25, 2025 at 4:21 AM
She is absolutely refusing to get on hands tonight. 🪶
Saw Canada Geese today. Forgot how much better the day is when I get to see those big feathery balls of fury. No pictures because I was too busy vibing with their anger.
November 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Saw Canada Geese today. Forgot how much better the day is when I get to see those big feathery balls of fury. No pictures because I was too busy vibing with their anger.
Bought shitloads of Thanksgiving food. Nothing to eat.
November 25, 2025 at 12:08 AM
Bought shitloads of Thanksgiving food. Nothing to eat.
Next time I think shopping at Berkeley Bowl for Thanksgiving stuff on the Monday before is a good idea, someone please kick me in the head till I'm too concussed to go outside.
November 24, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Next time I think shopping at Berkeley Bowl for Thanksgiving stuff on the Monday before is a good idea, someone please kick me in the head till I'm too concussed to go outside.
While it's true, the whole "easy mode" framing is just unhelpful. Sometimes easy mode is too hard, and telling people that they just need to get over it is the worst. It's like telling a clinically depressed person they just need to get out more and maybe smile a bit.
Just a PSA to the men out there who are mad about not getting what they want in this world: Being a man is like playing life on easy or at most normal difficulty, you need to get your shit together, the world is not against you because you're a man
“we need to be nicer to men” bro they didn’t let women have their own credit cards til 50 years ago
November 24, 2025 at 5:05 AM
While it's true, the whole "easy mode" framing is just unhelpful. Sometimes easy mode is too hard, and telling people that they just need to get over it is the worst. It's like telling a clinically depressed person they just need to get out more and maybe smile a bit.
Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown, Charlie Brown.
Do you know what nemesis means, Charlie Brown?
Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place, Charlie Brown.
November 24, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown, Charlie Brown.
You know, with just a little bit of ingenuity you can combine the two.
Good morning. In the past 24 hours, more Americans have Googled “felching” than have searched for “turkey recipes”
November 24, 2025 at 2:58 AM
You know, with just a little bit of ingenuity you can combine the two.
I wanna fuck you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
Give me back my broken night
My mirrored room my secret life
It's lonely here there's no one left to torture
My mirrored room my secret life
It's lonely here there's no one left to torture
November 23, 2025 at 1:34 AM
I wanna fuck you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna fuck you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God
She dreams of Kaiju. 🪶
November 23, 2025 at 12:38 AM
She dreams of Kaiju. 🪶
It's probably a good thing my partner won't let me take all the in search of a rehome parrots home with me, but they make me so sad. Noticing a lot of COVID era ones are getting dumped now that they are no longer babies.
November 22, 2025 at 9:18 PM
It's probably a good thing my partner won't let me take all the in search of a rehome parrots home with me, but they make me so sad. Noticing a lot of COVID era ones are getting dumped now that they are no longer babies.
Yeah, rereading this in the cold light of day, this isn't cum play, it's watersports.
November 22, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Yeah, rereading this in the cold light of day, this isn't cum play, it's watersports.
The Costco sized ginger citron honey jar was the best purchase.
November 22, 2025 at 12:38 AM
The Costco sized ginger citron honey jar was the best purchase.
Remembering Trump 1 when Pelosi and Schumer meet with Trump and were all "he likes us!"
November 21, 2025 at 11:04 PM
Remembering Trump 1 when Pelosi and Schumer meet with Trump and were all "he likes us!"
The swing has been in their cage for months, and Beaker finally used it! 🪶
November 19, 2025 at 4:40 AM
The swing has been in their cage for months, and Beaker finally used it! 🪶
This doesn't quite give a sense of scale. think medium sized baby. Perfect end of night food. (The quesadilla suiza is even better. basically a super quesadilla with meat and you are not finishing it unless you are under 25 and want to hate yourself tomorrow.)
November 19, 2025 at 2:21 AM
This doesn't quite give a sense of scale. think medium sized baby. Perfect end of night food. (The quesadilla suiza is even better. basically a super quesadilla with meat and you are not finishing it unless you are under 25 and want to hate yourself tomorrow.)
Wait, if we get out of this with California redistricting and Texas not... Masterful gambit Trump sir.
November 18, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Wait, if we get out of this with California redistricting and Texas not... Masterful gambit Trump sir.
Between this and the raised fist post ear piercing photo, does the very racist president think he's a Black Panther?
Trump: "THE ONLY HEALTHCARE I'LL SUPPORT OR APPROVE IS SENDING MONEY DIRECTLY BACK TO THE PEOPLE W/ NOTHING GOING TO THE BIG, FAT, RICH INSURANCE COMPANIES, WHO HAVE RIPPED OFF AMERICA LONG ENOUGH. THE PEOPLE WILL BE ALLOWED TO NEGOTIATE & BUY THEIR OWN, MUCH BETTER, INSURANCE. POWER TO THE PEOPLE!"
November 18, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Between this and the raised fist post ear piercing photo, does the very racist president think he's a Black Panther?
No political sex gossip just birds. 🪶
November 18, 2025 at 4:33 AM
No political sex gossip just birds. 🪶
I've had Pachelbel's Canon stuck in my head for so long I may have accidentally taught it to Beaker. Either that or I'm making order out of the chaos of his warbling.
November 18, 2025 at 12:35 AM
I've had Pachelbel's Canon stuck in my head for so long I may have accidentally taught it to Beaker. Either that or I'm making order out of the chaos of his warbling.
When people ask why I care about antisemitism on the left when the right is full of Nazis, this is why. This shit is poison to true liberation and it needs to be 100% unacceptable. Fuck, what a great job destroying the good the you have done, 50501.
So @50501movement.bsky.social is circulating a video of a guy saying candidates "are being paid to be Israel first, to be loyal to the Zionist project and not to their constituents, not to the American people." Which is just a hairs breadth away from saying "Zionist Occupied Government." Not great!
November 17, 2025 at 8:57 PM
When people ask why I care about antisemitism on the left when the right is full of Nazis, this is why. This shit is poison to true liberation and it needs to be 100% unacceptable. Fuck, what a great job destroying the good the you have done, 50501.
They made him grow that goatee/mustache thing for the ad, didn't they?
November 16, 2025 at 6:41 PM
They made him grow that goatee/mustache thing for the ad, didn't they?