Machine Gun Skelly
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varsityathlete.bsky.social
Machine Gun Skelly
@varsityathlete.bsky.social
320 followers 120 following 2.1K posts
Has always denied being a member of PoshArsenalTwitter or participating in any hating Coquelin and making it really obvious. Further denies any involvement in the slander of Bruce Rioja.
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Master list of mute and blocklists, where you can organise by topic, size, date, etc. and ensure you don't see content you find abhorrent, annoying, tedious, or you would simply rather not learn about against your will due to someone else putting it on your TL:

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With that moustache and haircut, he could be a prime villain to get bumped off in the Eastenders Christmas special as part of a whodunnit, or a failed consortium leader for a buyout of an in-trouble football league side
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Taker is being bullied worse than Kaval in Laycool:
Can I put you in touch with some lads from the Very Legitimate and Morally Sound Rwanda Tourism board? Apparently they’re after a London club for sleeve sponsorship…
what’s better than Guys Being Dudes?

Guys Being Dudes over KeshExpress
(I’m re-watching All Or Nothing and XL Gabi is spending an upsetting amount of time with Lacazette, Uberyang and the French speakers.

Further improving his English, making friends with serious players, and his lil trip to Turkey really did revolutionise that man’s life. And all of ours, tbh)
He deserves credit himself for how he’s applied himself. But consider how Gabriel has become A Serious Person and suppressed and ultimately eliminated his Bozo Gene tendencies since the influence of The Chuckle Brothers at this cloob waned, then how he went supernova following their departures.
Second striker in a Simeone style 44F2. I know he has that arc in him. Maybe not here, maybe not even at Atletico themselves, but somewhere.
Just burst out laughing remembering Lacazette’s ‘traumatised Unc round the camp fire’ tale from the Amazon documentary, so I thought I’d bless your Fridays by reminding you of its existence. All the best.
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Spend your Friday lunchtime reading The Football Manager 2026 beta meltdowns. Absolutely worth it.
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Very encouraging that Max Dowman's scholarship, leading to a first pro contract, is agreed. With the best youth there is always a risk they will be lured away. Arsenal have been smart in handling his elevation by mixing a special amount of opportunity and care.

www.nytimes.com/athletic/674...
Arsenal had to make a special case for Max Dowman – his super talent merits it
Arsenal have managed to sign the 15-year-old to scholarship terms. A professional contract is expected to follow when he turns 17...
www.nytimes.com
Finally clocked who Cole Palmer reminds me of.

Superb ball striking, decent as a transition attacker on the counter, below average movement without the ball, subpar defensive contribution.

Nicolas Pepé with elite PR
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'One month ahead of the Aston Villa game, which I needed to go perfectly, the Maccabi fans were running riot. I saw this as a positive. The more they got the rioting out of their system, the less chance they would want to riot on the streets of Birmingham.'
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'The plan? Stake our entire reputation on a huge group of Maccabi Tel Aviv hooligans behaving themselves.'
Correct! A lovely win vs Everton, with goals from Giroud and Koscielny to put us top of the league, days after we’d beaten Bayern.

Everything seemed to be set.

Then everyone’s hamstrings exploded in Sheffield the following week.
Can’t been it’s been 10 years since us slags rattled Tony Evans so much he was still going the following day. Still laugh my head off to this day.
This popped up on mine, so suspected something disgusting had happened.

Googled and it was apparently the late Pepe-inspired comeback against Victoria Guimaraes, having been 2-1 down for the majority of the match.

(credit to @imjustben.bsky.social for the artwork)
Would be banter if he came back for Crystal Palace, battered them again, then walked off into the sunset.

bsky.app/profile/rgun...
[Simon Collings] Gabriel Jesus has given an update on his recovery. “My knee is responding very well. So now I’m looking forward to being around the team again soon, to come back to do what I love to do.” More from him here: https://redd.it/1oe5gsc
u/Previous_Smile9278 on /r/gunners
[Simon Collings] Gabriel Jesus has given an update on his recovery. “My knee is responding very well. So now I’m looking forward to being around the team again soon, to come back to do what I love to do.” More from him here:
redd.it
The SuperMax Penitentiary locked down. Lovely to see. Well done to all involved.

bsky.app/profile/thea...
Arsenal have reached an agreement with Max Dowman to sign scholarship terms, with a professional contract expected to follow when he turns 17.

Full story from @david-ornstein.bsky.social ⬇️

🔗 www.nytimes.com/athletic/674...
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Bailey smith has entered the chat