Vurrence
@vurrence.bsky.social
@[email protected] on mastodon
Pinned
There are more than 20,000 ICE agents. Let’s say they weigh 180lbs each, on average.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
SNAP benefits for food-insecure people are being eliminated for no good reason, for who knows how long.
…I have a modest proposal.
Anyone who is having a shitty thanksgiving with family, I’d love to hear about it.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
November 27, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Anyone who is having a shitty thanksgiving with family, I’d love to hear about it.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
So I feel better about not having family to thanksgiving with.
Madlibs-style “make your own banger”:
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
November 27, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Madlibs-style “make your own banger”:
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
_____ , now with 20% more _____ !
Reposted by Vurrence
Dancing with the stars, but with unavoidable rotating blades lowered onto the dance floor.
November 27, 2025 at 10:14 PM
Dancing with the stars, but with unavoidable rotating blades lowered onto the dance floor.
Seems like this song has been getting a lot of new play in TV/movies lately. I hope the band got PAID.
Come And Get Your Love - Redbone | The Midnight Special
YouTube video by The Midnight Special
youtu.be
November 27, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Seems like this song has been getting a lot of new play in TV/movies lately. I hope the band got PAID.
Reposted by Vurrence
i bet hank hill has a propane powered fuck machine
November 26, 2025 at 7:41 PM
i bet hank hill has a propane powered fuck machine
Reposted by Vurrence
[cut to boardroom at zombie company]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
November 26, 2025 at 7:34 PM
[cut to boardroom at zombie company]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
[a zombie is presenting their PowerPoint slides]
[every slide just says “brains”]
[zombie points to slide]
“braaaains”
[everyone claps]
In the 70s I bet there was at least one Mohel who tried to jazzercise as he circumcised
November 26, 2025 at 7:07 PM
In the 70s I bet there was at least one Mohel who tried to jazzercise as he circumcised
“Yeah. I’m rubbing my butt all over your stupid keyboard. Fuck you.”
November 25, 2025 at 11:56 PM
“Yeah. I’m rubbing my butt all over your stupid keyboard. Fuck you.”
Comfortably thumb 👍
November 25, 2025 at 11:48 PM
Comfortably thumb 👍
My toxic trait is talking about what my toxic trait is.
November 25, 2025 at 11:46 PM
My toxic trait is talking about what my toxic trait is.
Reposted by Vurrence
Mirror mirror, on the wall:
What is felching? I don’t want any images, just kind of give me a PG-13 definition. I don’t want it in my google history, which is why I’m asking you.
What is felching? I don’t want any images, just kind of give me a PG-13 definition. I don’t want it in my google history, which is why I’m asking you.
November 25, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Mirror mirror, on the wall:
What is felching? I don’t want any images, just kind of give me a PG-13 definition. I don’t want it in my google history, which is why I’m asking you.
What is felching? I don’t want any images, just kind of give me a PG-13 definition. I don’t want it in my google history, which is why I’m asking you.
Reposted by Vurrence
If an extinction-level meteor were going to hit earth, and I had the power to stop it?
I wouldn’t, as long as I knew Bot-tan would die.
I wouldn’t, as long as I knew Bot-tan would die.
November 25, 2025 at 10:23 PM
If an extinction-level meteor were going to hit earth, and I had the power to stop it?
I wouldn’t, as long as I knew Bot-tan would die.
I wouldn’t, as long as I knew Bot-tan would die.
Reposted by Vurrence
Weird things are the best things to say.
clang clang clang went my peehole
fnibnastic ass gloves
AAAAAAAAAA! Stop throwing me!
mosquitos, but they’re catholic
replace my toes with grapes
clang clang clang went my peehole
fnibnastic ass gloves
AAAAAAAAAA! Stop throwing me!
mosquitos, but they’re catholic
replace my toes with grapes
November 25, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Weird things are the best things to say.
clang clang clang went my peehole
fnibnastic ass gloves
AAAAAAAAAA! Stop throwing me!
mosquitos, but they’re catholic
replace my toes with grapes
clang clang clang went my peehole
fnibnastic ass gloves
AAAAAAAAAA! Stop throwing me!
mosquitos, but they’re catholic
replace my toes with grapes
Do NOT like this post if you want me to compliment you.
November 25, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Do NOT like this post if you want me to compliment you.
Reposted by Vurrence
Look, I just think it's important to watch the video for Electric Six's "Danger! High Voltage" every once in a while to rebalance one's humors, okay? I'm just trying to help
Electric Six - Danger! High Voltage HD
YouTube video by Beggars Banquet Records
youtu.be
November 25, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Look, I just think it's important to watch the video for Electric Six's "Danger! High Voltage" every once in a while to rebalance one's humors, okay? I'm just trying to help
I wish my first name was Norman.
That way I could say to people “Hello, my name is Norman Wallace”.
Also I wish my last name was Wallace.
That way I could say to people “Hello, my name is Norman Wallace”.
Also I wish my last name was Wallace.
November 25, 2025 at 8:16 PM
I wish my first name was Norman.
That way I could say to people “Hello, my name is Norman Wallace”.
Also I wish my last name was Wallace.
That way I could say to people “Hello, my name is Norman Wallace”.
Also I wish my last name was Wallace.
Where were YOU when you learned that Talib Kweli got arrested in Florida for fucking alligators?
November 25, 2025 at 8:10 PM
Where were YOU when you learned that Talib Kweli got arrested in Florida for fucking alligators?
Reposted by Vurrence
Darth KicksPuppies
Darth BadThings
Darth McKillsOrphans
Darth BadThings
Darth McKillsOrphans
November 24, 2025 at 9:27 PM
Darth KicksPuppies
Darth BadThings
Darth McKillsOrphans
Darth BadThings
Darth McKillsOrphans
I bet there were some Sith who were like “Darth DoomVenom? Seriously, that’s what you want me to call myself? No, that’s fuckin GOOFY. Are we evil cartoon characters?”
November 24, 2025 at 9:22 PM
I bet there were some Sith who were like “Darth DoomVenom? Seriously, that’s what you want me to call myself? No, that’s fuckin GOOFY. Are we evil cartoon characters?”
“Your honor, may I be Frank?”
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”
“YOU ALL HEARD HIM! THAT’S ON RECORD! I’M FRANK NOW! NOT THE GUY ON TRIAL FOR MURDER!”
Judge: “Goddammit! I really have to stop falling for that.”
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”
“YOU ALL HEARD HIM! THAT’S ON RECORD! I’M FRANK NOW! NOT THE GUY ON TRIAL FOR MURDER!”
Judge: “Goddammit! I really have to stop falling for that.”
November 24, 2025 at 8:25 PM
“Your honor, may I be Frank?”
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”
“YOU ALL HEARD HIM! THAT’S ON RECORD! I’M FRANK NOW! NOT THE GUY ON TRIAL FOR MURDER!”
Judge: “Goddammit! I really have to stop falling for that.”
Judge: “I’ll allow it.”
“YOU ALL HEARD HIM! THAT’S ON RECORD! I’M FRANK NOW! NOT THE GUY ON TRIAL FOR MURDER!”
Judge: “Goddammit! I really have to stop falling for that.”
You’re the bowl of baked beans spilled in the bed just after putting on fresh sheets
You’re the puddle just after a fresh pair of socks
You’re the toothpaste just after the orange juice.
November 24, 2025 at 8:15 PM
You’re the bowl of baked beans spilled in the bed just after putting on fresh sheets
Not to get all “political”, but I think Halloween decorations should be used more in Christmas decorations.
Just stick a baby jesus in the hands of the 20’ tall skeleton.
Just stick a baby jesus in the hands of the 20’ tall skeleton.
November 23, 2025 at 11:05 PM
Not to get all “political”, but I think Halloween decorations should be used more in Christmas decorations.
Just stick a baby jesus in the hands of the 20’ tall skeleton.
Just stick a baby jesus in the hands of the 20’ tall skeleton.
This should just be what everything is
Dog of Wisdom
YouTube video by Joe
youtu.be
November 23, 2025 at 10:59 PM
This should just be what everything is
Dave Grohl playing Pokemon:
THEEEERE GOES MY SPEAROW!!!
THEEEERE GOES MY SPEAROW!!!
November 23, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Dave Grohl playing Pokemon:
THEEEERE GOES MY SPEAROW!!!
THEEEERE GOES MY SPEAROW!!!
Ruin a thought experiment by changing one letter:
“The Shit of Theseus”
“The Shit of Theseus”
November 23, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Ruin a thought experiment by changing one letter:
“The Shit of Theseus”
“The Shit of Theseus”